Healing Emotional Hurts

Balroop Singh

Slide1“If you truly loved yourself, you could never hurt another.”

No sane soul hurts deliberately. Yet hurts happen. I am talking about emotional hurts, which remain deep rooted as we don’t want to share them for fear of ridicule or exposing our relationships, which may appear to be loving and smooth.
Why do people hurt?

  • Insensitivity towards others
  • Lack of emotional quotient
  • Lack of communication skills
  • Jealousy
  • Own selfish motives.

Selfish people never think of others. Even if they do, their own pursuits are so overwhelming for them that they are able to justify themselves. They buy peace with self- arguments and get rid of the guilt of hurting their own near and dear ones.

Sometimes vile and toxic people around them encourage them in their goals, by glorifying their efforts to guide them. Such people snatch them away from their most loved friends and relatives.

Sometimes we hurt others unknowingly. We use such words, which pierce the hearts, without realizing their impact
Have you ever felt the depth of hurt? It is much deeper than we think it to be.

Healing-300x300Time is said to be a great healer but it doesn’t really heal. It just fades the memories of hurts. They keep returning in your solemn moments, in your dreams and when ever you think of that person.

We keep burying the emotional hurts into the deepest corners of our hearts and only address them when they become unbearable. At this point we think of going to the therapists who direct us back to our own efforts!

So self-healing is the only answer and that too can be achieved with great effort:

1. Keep the thoughts of hurts away by engaging in meaningful tasks.
2. If you must think, try to analyze why you were hurt, who is responsible.
3. There is no harm in admitting if you are the cause. It will help in keeping your mind clear of all the clutter.
4. Accept the fact that the person who has hurt you is no longer attached to you; he or she doesn’t care about your feelings.
5. So it is better to detach yourself.
6. Be Positive. Respect yourself.
7. Above all, forgive and forget. Forgiveness is the first step to self-healing.

It is very painful to detach, I know. That is why probably, time is given the greatest credit but in reality, only self-efforts have the healing power.

Can hurts ever be forgotten?
We try to deny them in our mind. We tell ourselves that they don’t matter to us but the emotional wounds get deeper if we don’t acknowledge them.

Emotional hurts leave longer shadows behind them. Unlike physical hurts, they are invisible but the marks they make on our psyche are indelible.
While some hurts may be subtle, some stare starkly at you and become a burden.

It’s your turn to share your valuable opinion about healing emotional hurts.

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12 thoughts on “Healing Emotional Hurts

  1. I agree that with time emotional hurts fade away but they come back when you again get hurt. We don’t want to share them for fear of loosing our relationships which we consider are important. Sometimes or most of the times we do this for the sake of family. Forgiving is not easy if you are hurt deeply by your near and dear ones. No matter how hard we try but somehow these thoughts come to our mind whenever we feel low. The only solution according to me is not to think about these incidents and try engaging yourself in meaningful tasks. Well, giving yourself importance helps a lot. Sometimes if we try to analyse, it becomes hard to understand what actually the cause was, and it forces us to think that we can avoid such incidents in future by handling the situation in a different manner. But all these things come with experience and I still need to learn a lot.
    Thanks for picking up topics which are really meaningful and helpful and they help us to become a better human being which is the most important thing in life.

    1. Daljeet, I can very well relate to the hurts which we are scared to discuss within the family, for fear of ruining our relationships and we let those hurts simmer for a long time….that is actually our weakness and a cause of long time emotional suffering. May be we are conditioned to accept such hurts….could be the part of our upbringing but I have learnt to rebel against such emotional subjugations. We can always adopt politer ways but we must convey to the perpetrators that we are not going to take their emotional repression any more.

      Thanks for adding your valued opinion and in such a realistic manner!

  2. Emotional wounds can have far greater impacts than physical ones. I agree with what you said about needing to acknowledge them or they will continue to get deeper. I may have misunderstood, but would disagree about the ‘self-help’ being the only option. In my experience, we are usually unable to effectively and accurately see the wounds in order to address them. I’m convinced we need someone outside ourselves to best help with this process. Of course, skills improve with experience, so we will become more aware and less defended against seeing truth.
    I enjoyed this post very much, it is a valuable topic.

  3. Thanks Denise for pointing out that there are other options too to get out of emotional abysses…I appreciate your perspective. when we share our hurts, we surely get outside help but many times we try to relegate these hurts to the unknown, deeper corners of our mind, refusing to let them be exposed…then we suffer in silence and in such a case no one would know till we head towards depression.

    I am glad that you enjoyed this post, to my mind this topic is universally relevant. Thanks!

  4. Fantastic post, Balroop! Another reason people hurt (i.e. bullying) is lack of self-esteem. A counselor once told me many years ago that you will never find the right and perfect mate until you are right and perfect yourself. It makes a tremendous amount of sense from a spiritual and life energy perspective. And you are spot on with the incredible need to forgive ourselves. I loved reading this 🙂

    1. Hi Mike….welcome to my blog and thanks for expressing your valuable opinion!
      You are right, how could I miss the mention of this dreadful word… bullying! I am a brave survivor of childhood bullying by a sibling but I emerged so stronger that I seem to have forgiven and forgotten completely!

      I believe it is quite difficult to be perfect and being right varies from individual to individual…we can never live up to the expectations of others… it also depends on one’s perspective.

      Thanks for adding your insight to the post.

  5. God has given the power of speech only to homo sapiens.However people are least bothered about what they say and how they say.Words once uttered cannot be retrieved yet no one bothers .Rude remarks,cruel and insensitive words pierce hearts and make deep wounds.Unlike physical ailment there is no immediate treatment .It results in hurt and deep pain which may even take months to heal.sometimes these hurts are housed deep in our hearts and it is impossible to eliminate.We have to sail through our lives posing to have forgiven and forgotten whereas we carry these hurts day in and day out.

  6. Hi Baldeep…you are right, some hurts are too deep to heal. We have to move on and forget them but the thoughts… why me? why this hurt? what have I done to deserve this?…keep returning. Good mental health is more important than those who try to be rude and cruel…perhaps they too are victims of such hurts which have never healed and need help. Only those who are unhappy with their own thoughts and actions use insensitive words. May God help them!
    Thanks for expressing your valuable opinion.

  7. Thank you for reminding us how deep the emotional hurts can go! We sometimes forget and then it becomes so easy to hurt others even though it may not be our intention to do so. You inspire us to be more careful with our words and our actions.

    I have hope that we can heal these deep emotional wounds, when we realize we are so much more than that. I think you are right that working with the self is key and it has to be an everyday thing.

    1. Welcome Sandra…I appreciate your kind thoughts.
      Thank you for adding a positive touch of working everyday to get out of emotional setbacks. I think we all have to struggle with negative emotions but the one who emerges out triumphant is the happiest.
      There was a time when I refused to acknowledge the depth of such hurts but now I feel we must make peace with them and move on to more meaningful tasks.
      Thanks….I love your insights into human psyche!

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