All Relationships Are Based On Emotions… Positive Or Negative

BALROOP SINGH

Image Emotions relate us to each other.

They are natural and spontaneous instincts, which are triggered by circumstances, environment or interactions. However, all relationships may not be positive because many negative emotions too creep in, despite our best efforts to keep them away.

 “Emotions are perhaps our most effective means of cross-species communication. We can share our emotions, we can understand the language of feelings, and that’s why we form deep and enduring social bonds with many other beings. Emotions are the glue that binds.”

Marc Bekoff

Do we form enduring bonds?

 The environment we create around ourselves, while expressing our emotions define our relationships, cement them or weaken them. Enslaved by emotions, we forget how fleeting they are! Isn’t it paradoxical?

 Love and anxiety:

Love, the basic and natural emotion binds us to each other as a family, in the form of siblings and relatives. Anxiety is so closely linked with love that it merges into it, taking a form often disliked by our own dear ones.

 ‘Why do you get anxious?’ They ask.

The answer lies in our emotional bindings, which get stronger slowly and cannot be understood by all. Anxiety for their security, anxiety for their wellbeing and success, anxiety for myriad other small occasions, considered insignificant by them… and that leads us to disconnect or anger.

 Anxiety and anger:

Where there is love, there is anxiety and there is anger! But it is ironic that love dissociates us finally. It is also the anger, which leads to disconnect. Too much concern, too much worry and disrespect for our emotions may antagonize us.

 The negative and positive emotions are so interconnected that it is hard to comprehend sometimes which of them becomes stronger to overrule the other.Image

Adolescent love disregards all other emotions and gets completely immersed in its own world. As it advances, it forgets all near and dear ones.

 As love matures, it takes a new form and may get sidelined for accomplishing new goals. In the pursuit of success we experience many new emotions like insecurity, jealousy, frustration, despair, determination, fear, pride, appreciation, contentment etc.

 All these emotions link us to our friends and colleagues in a positive and negative manner. We take pride in our friend’s success but that reminds us of our own failure, thereby stimulating our negative feelings and thoughts! It is better to pocket those emotions and use them to ignite our inspiration to accomplish something better.

 It is their own insecurity of performing below the expectations of their boss that leads people to criticize and let down good employees.

 I still need to understand certain emotions, which give pain and pleasure, which lead to attachment and detachment. I still need to grasp why hypocrisy is so dear to some people!

 I hope some of my readers will provide some valuable answers. Please share your thoughts.

 I am glad you are here. Please share this post with your friends.

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6 thoughts on “All Relationships Are Based On Emotions… Positive Or Negative

  1. Hi Mam,
    I guess our nature remains the same throughout our lives and emotions surely plays an important role .If we are a positive thinker then negative atmosphere created by others always leaves us in pain and I agree for a while we, due to pressure can think negative but not more than few seconds because our basic nature remains the same. With experience our understanding changes, I guess we start feeling happy at the success of others. The only thing that bothers me is why some people want to let others down just to prove themselves smart or intelligent although they can do so by doing their best. Our emotions change from love to pain when we don’t get what we expect. So I think we should not expect anything if we want to be happy. It is very hard and I am still working on it….

    1. Hi Daljeet,
      You are right… every person has his or her unique way of dealing with emotions and positive thinkers are often confused what to do with those who vitiate the atmosphere with their negativity. At times we are impelled toward thinking negative about such people but Daljeet, believe me, such people have to face the consequences sooner or later or they carry the burden of their bad behaviour to the next life.

      People who let down others have to face the same situation, so despite the anguish they give us, let us emerge from the negative thoughts and forgive! Though I have always detached myself from negative relationships, but it has taken some time to forgive them. We have to do it for our own peace of mind and happiness.

      Thanks for expressing your view, it is very valuable.

  2. This was very thought-provoking and a myriad of topics spin off from this in the numerous romantic and interpersonal relationships in general I’ve had over my lifetime. When my wife-to-be and I got married I totally mistook romantic love for something on a deeper committed level with the fireworks wore off and reality set in. On an entirely different note I would question that anxiety and paranoia can often distort any truth to our emotions at that moment. I’ve changed, evolved and mellowed so much with the older I’ve become (I think that’s what we all aspire to?) yet I’m still incredibly young at heart and frequently in action. But, early on I had some valid things to be angry about until a wonderful counseling guided me towards learning that frustration often manifests itself in anger. Balroop, this was an absolutely fantastic post and I will drive home tonight thinking about it actually! 🙂

    1. HI Mike,
      Welcome to my blog…and thanks for adding your intellectual perspective.

      I agree with you romantic love is many times misguided…it can bloom into real one with some efforts which have to be supported by sincerity and commitment. Infact all kinds of love wears off if it is not renewed. I believe anger and anxiety sets in when we start taking each other for granted, in any relationship.

      I also like being young at heart and have tried to! Thanks Mike, for the appreciation and I like your thinking about what I have conveyed in my post. Yes, it spins off many more topics.

  3. Hi Balroop – a thought-provoking post indeed. I have in no way mastered my emotions or understood other people’s emotions completely either. But I think what I have come to know is that we each are ultimately responsible for our own emotions. We have no control over what others feel, do or how they react. And with our emotions, we have a choice in being more conscious about them – observing them, choosing healthier ones and letting go of the emotions which don’t serve us.

    Also, not so much related to emotions but one other factor here is expectations. Sometimes having certain of expectations of others in life brings disappointment and letdowns. I’ve learned that so often I used to expect people to do certain things and be a certain way. Of course, I was simply projecting my own ego and demands. Once I became more aware of that, i try to let what happens happens. Reducing expectations and wanting others to be a certain way has gone out the window. In it’s place, I’m able to find more personal peace of mind.

    1. Hi Vishnu,
      You are so right…emotions are so complex that nobody can claim to understand them completely or even control them. Sometimes you realise too late that the situation demanded control of emotions, so I couldn’t agree with you more when you say we are responsible for our emotions! They are ever evolving and we learn more about them with each passing day.

      Expectations are very much connected with emotions…it is due to our expectations that we get hurt or feel let down. I am glad you have tried to throw them out of the window but they keep coming back through the door!! Why I say so… well, human emotions are self perpetuating, however hard to try to snub them, ignore them, forget them, they come back in one form or the other to disturb our peace of mind. In my book, Sublime Shadows…. I have fought with them, pushed them away, tried to bury them but they are still alive around me!

      Thanks Vishnu, for adding another point, which I had completely forgotten to add.

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