Emotional Setbacks: How to become your own Therapist

ImageA therapist is a person who is trained in the use of psychological methods for helping patients to overcome their psychological problems.

Why do we go into therapy?

When grief becomes unbearable, when it keeps you dragging down into the deepest dumps, when you feel the choking unbearable, when inner darkness shrouds us, when we can’t handle our emotions…it is time to seek help.

At such times, I often become my own therapist. Even you can! Incredible?

I don’t think so.

Our mind possesses a miraculous power of self- healing.Image Only if we try to unleash that power within us, will we know the truth behind self- therapy.

“Everyone has a doctor in him or her; we just have to help it in its work. The natural healing force within each one of us is the greatest force in getting well.”—Hippocrates

Whether it is a break up or divorce, mental or physical torture, betrayal or emotional hurt, bullying or frustration, no grief should be grave enough to kill your spirit of emerging stronger to seek your own happiness and peace.

Try the following tips:

Talk to yourself:

Self- talking is a very powerful tool in our hands. Let the talk go on and on, don’t try to give it a direction. Let the positive and negative thoughts flow on. When they exhaust themselves, then sift through your thoughts and pick up the positive ones to convince yourself that it is not your fault.

 It is just a phase:

Accept that you are just going through a bad phase. Everybody has to. You don’t have any control over the circumstances but you can control the damage, which the present situation might do, to your mental and emotional health.

Keep yourself busy:

If you have work, bury yourself in that. It will keep you away from the depressive thoughts for a while. In case you don’t have a regular routine to keep yourself busy, read a good book, visit a friend, go and meet somebody whose company gives you relief and comfort.

 Share your thoughts:Image

Don’t conceal your wounds. When you speak out your mind, half of the burden wears off. You can discuss your anxieties and fears with a person you trust, a friend or your mother or sister, whosoever you are comfortable with. It gives immense relief and you will feel lighter.

 Cry your heart out:

As you share your feelings, let the tears flow. They bring about catharsis and have an amazing healing power. The pain of your heart will melt away for the time being. Let all the thoughts of regret, guilt and forgiveness visit you again and again and let them flow away.

 Pour your heart out:

Write down all your thoughts, the remorse and the censure and your answers to all the questions that are troubling you. It will give you a strange self- satisfaction and self-healing.

 Listen to good music:

Good music is a great healing balm; it takes us out of our situation and provides a soothing touch to our heart and soul.

“For me, singing sad songs often has a way of healing a situation. It gets the hurt out in the open into the light, out of the darkness.” – Reba McEntire

Have faith in yourself:Image

Self- therapy requires great determination to push aside your anguish and have immense faith in your efforts.

Faith is the strength by which a shattered world shall emerge into the light.Helen Keller

Have you ever tried self- therapy? Do you comprehend the power of convincing yourself, which lies within us? Which of the above steps could be more effective?

Please share your valuable thoughts.

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Balroop Singh

Picture credits: expertinmind.com, urbannaturale.com, eliteedgegym.com


22 thoughts on “Emotional Setbacks: How to become your own Therapist

    1. I agree, we have to keep reminding ourselves from time to time otherwise negative thoughts wash out the healing power, which lies within our mind. I know talking soothes because we are then able to awaken the perceptive mind.

      Thanks, Brad, have a nice weekend ahead.

  1. I love that picture of the cat & lion! It’s one of my favorites! 😉

    Your tips are really great, Balroop. I think it depends on how deep the pain/trauma is whether we can self-doctor. There are many things about myself I still need someone else to point out because it’s difficult to see ourselves with neutrality.
    A time and place for everything, maybe?

    1. Hi Denise,

      You are absolutely right…the deeper the pain, more intense the therapy and some traumas refuse to shuffle out of our lives, however hard we may try. that is why we have to make peace with them, that is why we have to learn forgiveness, which does not come spontaneously.

      We have to keep working towards eliminating the pain and trauma for our own good health. Even when we go into therapy, all the effort is put in by the patient through talking and sharing, the therapist just listens, reassures and eases the pain.

      What is important is that we have to get rid of self compassion and negativity. Let bygones be forgotten and start afresh. It is all in our mind.

      Thanks Denise, for sharing those thoughts. Have a nice weekend.

  2. Balroop, you’ve become an Aunt to me. I’ve had an impossible time trying to connect up with my real aunt. She and you must have been sisters in another life. So very alike. I do say positive things about myself and mantras. I talk with friends a lot lately. Music is so very helpful. Yet, an inner turmoil still exists. My aunt said there is a planetary turmoil going on with all of us and we may have to endure it. But, she doesn’t say that with acceptance that we can’t fend off any discomfort. I just Subscribed to your blog if it worked right. Possibly a forthcoming post from you could be to address anxiety? A lifelong demon of mine. Thank you dear! 🙂

    1. Lol!! Thanks Mike for feeling connected in such a sweet way! I am so glad that my words resonate with you.

      Turmoil inside our mind and heart is an ongoing process, it doesn’t cease…we just calm it down for a while and then another issue crops up to ignite it. Unless we make peace with these turmoils, they continue to cause discomfort and pain. You must read another article which I had posted earlier and that is…’Why is Pain an Essential element of Life’.Just check in the Archives.

      Anxiety is surely on my list! Thanks Mike.

      1. Hi again! I did read Why is Pain and Essential Element but I didn’t see a place to leave a comment. It made a lot of sense to as you said, “embrace” pain. I can see the difficult endeavor of “sitting with” that it hurts us for a bit versus trying to immediately negate it, chase it away, or deny it exists for us. The work continues and thank you so much, Balroop! 🙂

  3. Hi Balroop,

    Although I agree that at times we can be our own therapist, I’ve had two times where I definitely needed the real thing.

    The last time was over the loss of my Dad and I was drowning. I also became extremely depressed and had to get on medication and there was no way I could have come out of that all on my own. I only wish I could have dealt with it in that way but I think the entire experience was way too traumatic for me.

    Great tips though and I hope I never need another one but if I get on that edge I’ll have to remember your tips here.


    1. Hi Adrienne,

      We all wish never to face such circumstances or situations that take us down into the stream of depression but if we could only help our life to flow in our own way, nobody would ever choose to accept pain and trauma. Sadly, it is not so. we have to deal with the sad facts of life… and life started my training when I was just 12 years old. That was the time I lost my father in an accident…

      We never got any therapy, actually at that time and even now, very few people believe in seeking professional help for depression or bouts of sadness and anguish.The lessons of life steeled me and my spirit of tolerance.

      So it is with everybody as we have a very strong system of extended families, in which there may be competition, envy and vengeance but there is great love and support too. Sharing and caring comes naturally to us and so there is always some member who becomes a mentor or therapist.

      Thanks Adrienne for adding your valuable thoughts to this discussion.

  4. Hi Balroop,

    Lovely post indeed 🙂

    Yes, it’s very rare a therapy session works, especially in our country. Not to mention that years back people had no therapy other than talking to each other, and sharing themselves with their family and friend’s – and that worked.

    Even in the remote villages, we have people who follow certain customs that are meant to lighten their problems, and they are soon well after talks. Talking is therapeutic, something I’ve always noticed – provided the other person is a good listener, though even otherwise when you share your feelings with someone, it makes you feel so much better.

    I remember the time when I lost my Mom – nothing could console me, but I never went to a therapist. Instead, time was the healer her, and taking each day as it comes, when you are start facing the reality. It takes time, but it happens. I think therapists are needed in extreme cases or when you know you cannot handle the issues on your own, and nothing else that you mentioned helps.

    Thanks for sharing. Have a nice week ahead 🙂

    1. Hi Harleena,

      I know how much you can understand what I am saying…besides therapy is for the affluent and the powerful, who cares for such therapies when so many people die because of lack of medical care in so many countries! Not just remote villages, Harleena, the plight of the poor and the hungry is much worse than you can imagine even in the cities and towns.

      Oh…I am so sorry about your mom…we all have to deal with such losses in life. You are right, only extreme cases go to therapists but here, in the states, loneliness and lack of good listeners, who really care about your little problems, compels people to go to therapists.

      Thanks dear, for sharing your precious thoughts, I truly appreciate it.

  5. Hi Mrs Balroop. Very well written. Talking and sharing thoughts always help as self therapy. I feel even talking about the small stuff of life takes your mind away from the serious and perturbing matters and then your mountain like problems also may seem like moles.

    1. Hi Tejinder,

      WELCOME! Thank you so much for adding your opinion. I really miss the way we could share every issue, every problem on daily basis and now miles apart, we still can connect so well with each other. That is what helps…that was our natural therapy! really miss you!

      Thanks dear, for stopping by, much appreciated. Love you.

  6. Hi Balroop,

    Thank you so much for your kind words of encouragement on Jodi’ds blog. In fact, it was on her blog that I found you first time and followed your blog. I apreciate all of your posts.
    I was my own therapist for so many years, until 2007 and it worked well. In fact, it still works very well, much more effective than therapy sessions. I have learned to pick up the tiniest positive thing and be grateful for it. I worked almost 20 hours a day to keep my mind busy and it worked. Some days are harder than others, and those days I know I need a reminder about the strength in me, that I did it before and can do it again. I stopped writing over a year ago, and i miss that…Thank you very much ❤

    1. Hi Nikky,

      I am pleased to know that you have found my words encouraging, that is what we are here for, to give each other a positive nudge that all works out well, if we gather the strength to steer through difficult phases of life. We all have our share of thorny paths and life is like that…an amalgamation of joys and pains and whatever comes first, should be handled prudently. Though we learn it slowly but we all possess the capacity and the resilience to do so.

      I understand when you say some days are harder, that is when we need to pour out our emotions into writing. I hope you start writing again as it makes us forget all those unpleasant experiences, once we pen them down.

      Wishing you all the best!

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