Cultivating Patience… Is It Your Priority?

Patience is the inclination to control the racing mind, which wants to jump ahead. We have to win many thrilling races of life but this one, which calls for a brake is no less challenging.

Do you have the quality of bearing provocation, the ability to suppress annoyance, the capacity for calmly enduring pain?

Developing patience is an enormous learning experience, it acquaints us with what is life, how we have to wait at each step, each phase, without getting agitated, disappointed or distressed.

While moving ahead on the path to accomplish our dreams, we have to keep patience and wait for the right opportunities, for the leading benchmarks to reach that horizon we have visualized.

While we try to analyze and understand whether our endeavors conform to our aspirations, we have to keep patience and wait for the results.

“He that can have patience can have what he will.”—Benjamin Franklin.

Patience can be cultivated with practice, with restraint and by balancing our emotions. Despite all the efforts, it is learnt slowly, with time and experience.

Have you noticed how suddenly do we get upset when we encounter some delay in one form or another… whether it is waiting to catch a train or a flight or we get stuck in traffic? Annoyance is a natural emotion at such a time but those are the situations, which apprise us with the value of patience, which train us to think rationally and sensibly.

ABSORB PATIENCE FROM MOTHER NATURE

If you want to learn patience, look at Mother Nature – the slow and steady growth of the fruit tree you plant…the way you have to nurture it, admire it with every passing day and wait for spring…to see it sprout with new shoots, waiting eagerly for the blossoming of flowers, the formation of fruit and wait again for the warmth of sun to fill that fruit with sweetness so that it becomes palatable.

LEARN IT FROM CHILDREN

If you want to learn patience, have children around you.They can give you some profound lessons just by running around and refusing to eat what you offer. Ever tried to feed a toddler? You need to wait and wait till they decide to open their mouth to oblige you!…ask a new mother! That is how young women become patient when they have to deal with their loving sons and daughters. When they grow up, the bigger test of your patience starts at that time. While you think about new strategies everyday to deal with them, you too learn. That’s why William Wordsworth must have said… “Child is the father of man.”

REAL PATIENCE IS – SELF CONTROLpatience_quote-1

I too learnt real patience from my children and MORE of it from my students. Initially I was quite impatient with them but soon I realized that it is just like pulling my own hair, losing my own serenity and concentration. Slowly I started listening to them, getting less angry, learning to control my emotions and becoming patient.

One student who had outgrown all kinds of adjectives from ‘impolite’ to ‘unruly’ [being used by his teachers] was brought into my room for a more effective reprimand. I just gave him enough time to explain himself, spoke politely and respectfully to him and waited. This so called notorious and uncontrollable student had tears in his eyes and apologized but he also emphasized that none of his teachers tried to understand him, not even his parents.

Such is the power of patience! It got ingrained in me through the honest confessions of this boy.

“Have patience with all things but first of all with yourself”– Saint Francis De Sales.

ACQUIRE PATIENCE FROM YOUR PROFESSION

When you have to wait outside the room of your boss, when you have to wait for your colleagues to catch up with your speed of work, when projects get delayed, when you have to wait for your next promotion…there are many such opportunities that instill patience in the most natural manner.

I had to wait everyday outside my classroom…an expected courteous step so that the teacher who had been teaching before me could step out but some of them kept on and on, oblivious of the fact that the bell had rung for the change of class and somebody must be waiting outside, in the sticky July heat or the students need a bit of time to breathe before settling down for the next class.

Some times when the door had been closed by a very conscientious teacher, it was real fun to watch [from that little rectangular hole in the door, made for peeping to keep a check at both the students and the teachers] those students who were apparently distracted or bored due to a long day of packing of all those facts and formulae into their brains and longed for some refreshing change, which English class brought through discussion of real and human issues!

proud-elder-300x279IMBIBE IT FROM THE ELDERLY

Learn patience from the elderly and ailing members of the house, whose insecurities and expectations keep growing. If you love them, their demands can’t irritate you. One of my friends, who was living in a joint family with a mother-in-law and a grandmother-in-law, who had Alzheimer’s had to keep herself calm…her capacity of forbearance was so unprecedented that it amazes me how much she had changed.

“A man who is a master of patience is master of everything else.”—George Savile.

Have you mastered patience? Do you think you need to work on it? I would love to hear your views.

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Thank you for your support. Please add your valuable comments, they are much appreciated.

Balroop Singh.

Picture credits:favething.com, insideeldercare.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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23 thoughts on “Cultivating Patience… Is It Your Priority?

  1. Very interesting and useful for me, who have no real patience. I need to work on it. Being a mum helps me a lot. Cause you’re right Balroop, with kids we have to accept that things take a bit of time (or we lose our sanity and it’s not good nor right!)
    I need to practice every day. Contemplating nature is a good way to understand patience and apply it to our life.
    When we work hard towards it, we become more patient and we keep living with all the benefits patience has to offer.
    Stay well and inspired always…

    1. Hi marie,

      I am glad you found this post useful. I myself didn’t have much patience and have managed to learn a bit…the process goes on, all our life! Yes, kids do give us the best lessons of life, which otherwise we would never learn but we do so for their love. I watch nature very carefully and have picked up many values from connecting with her.

      Thanks for your continued presence, it means a lot to me. I appreciate your kind words.

  2. Patience is the mother of all virtues. However i find it difficult to imbibe, I start my morning with a promise to remain calm and serene which I break much before noon. People do find a change and appreciate my efforts but I know one thing that an admin job can never let you remain calm.

    1. Hi Baldeep,

      Welcome back!! You are right, patience is cultivated with sincere efforts and adds greater charm to your personality. It ennobles you. Even those who may not be having this virtue, appreciate it. It’s never too late, so keep up the efforts!

      Thanks for standing by to add your insight, always appreciated.

  3. Interesting topic, Balroop.
    I’ve found myself becoming much more patient with myself and others since I worked through my anger issues. I was incredibly impatient when I had so much anger boiling around inside. Now I’m much calmer and things that used to irritate kind of slide by now.

    1. Hi Denise,

      I am glad you found this interesting!
      We learn to become patient slowly when we realise how impatience can harm us and snatch away our peace of mind.Calmness is also picked up from the people we interact with…anger aggravates impatience but it is good that you have dealt with all those anger issues. As we mellow, we start understanding that it is futile to keep struggling with unpleasant parts of our life. So we let go! That is also good for our health!

      Thanks for sharing your view, greatly valued.

  4. Ho Balroop,

    Boy do I know what you mean by patience. It is something that we all have to learn. We do learn it through our children and time.
    When my first daughter started school I had a conference with the teacher and she said, “I m not sure what is going on, but your daughter is always in a hurry to get things done.”

    I got to thinking about it and looked at the teacher. This is my fault I believe. Every time we go to do something I am telling her to hurry up and get dressed, hurry up and eat your breakfast, hurry up and brush your teeth. It is always hurry up, that is all she hears.
    After I stopped doing this and calmed myself and had some patience she wasn’t hurrying all the time. Thank heaven the teach brought this to my attention.

    Now I find having grand kids that I even have more patience. The little things my kids did sometimes caused me to lose patience, but now with the grand kids I see that it really doesn’t matter. In a day it won’t make any difference. So way get upset or impatient I say to myself.

    Great subject to talk about and thank you. It makes me smile thinking about how impatient I use to be. Glad I have learned. 🙂
    Debbie

    1. Hi Debbie,

      I can understand when you say you learnt patience through your daughter! I am learning more from my grand daughter! Children lead the way because we can’t react angrily to them, even if we do, they would smile at you and that melts away all the anger!

      I can relate to your ‘hurry up’ dialogue but in a different way! You know how time fleets in the morning when we have to finish all the chores, get two children dressed and leave early morning. As I too had to leave at 7.30, the word hurry was all the time whirling in my mind but I could never speak it out because that reminded me of my own mother who was telling always to hurry up!! So I vowed to be patient.

      I am glad I could make you smile, thanks for sharing your experiences with patience.

  5. Nice article! I agree patience is very important and I too learned most of mine from my kids. It took some time for sure but I am so much more relaxed most of the time now. More patience equals less stress 😉

    1. Thanks Melissa! Yep, stress has to exit from the back door as patience ushers in serenity, peace of mind and happiness. It takes some time and a lot of efforts to learn patience, especially if you have not been raised with it!

      Thanks for adding a valuable point, it is much appreciated.

  6. This was your usual profound thought-provoking excellence, Balroop! I loved the quote from Saint Francis De Sales….perfect and exactly where we all should start. I’ve been working on not only patience but allowing. The former being something I’ve improved on with amazement in my adult life and the latter being a tough new journey lately. Thank you, dear friend! 🙂

    1. Hi Mike,

      It is so good to see you, hope dear phoenix is letting you have some free time. Thank you for liking this article and saying such good words!

      This is an interesting point – allowing patience! I can very well understand after the ordeal you have been through…tough times do ennoble us in various ways.

      Thank you, Mike for the encouragement you provide with each comment, greatly valued.

  7. I have gotten so much more patient over the years. Frankly, I do not have the time to fuss about things and now that I am older I realize that things have a way of working out. Sometimes I do have to advocate for myself, but other times I don’t bother and it works out anyway. I’m also very flexible, and this I feel is the ultimate key to happiness.

    1. Hi Jodi,

      Yes, our personality keeps on changing slowly as we keep growing and we learn so many amazing ways of dealing with our emotions…sometimes I marvel at the way we let go things which kept bothering us earlier. I agree with your reflection that things work out well with time and if we are flexible.

      You seem to be a happy go lucky kind of a person, I can read it in those bright eyes and that charming, mesmerising smile!!

      Thanks for standing by and sharing your perspective.

  8. Hello Ms. Balroop
    This is my first time on your blog.i have seen you on Adrienne’s blog and Kumar’s blog.
    I like the headline of this post.

    Patience is a virtue. It is also an art.
    When I was younger, I did not have any patience, but now that I am older, I am blessed with patience.

    Patience is a skill which can be acquired.

    Thank you for this post that inspires us.

    Gladys

    1. Hi Gladys,

      Thank you for taking the initiative and connecting with me. Thanks for the kind words you have shared, I am glad that I could inspire you with my words.

      Yes, patience can be acquired but with a lot of effort. Most of the people pay a lot of attention to grooming themselves and their children but this aspect is usually neglected. While we tell our growing children to be polite and kind, we never emphasise on patience. That could be the reason, probably for the impatient generation we are facing today.

      I hope my words will reach a few conscientious people so that patience is also emphasised upon. Thanks for adding your perspective, greatly appreciated.

    1. Hi Kim,

      I am so glad you are making efforts to deal with your impatience! Smiling is a fabulous way of doing it. Thanks for standing by and sharing your view. Love your support.

  9. Hi Balroop! Boy can I learn about patience from you! I must say that I think I have improved from when I was younger. I used to be on the go constantly, rushing here and there trying to do everything I ever imagined and required. Fortunately as I age I find that most of the time I was doing as you say, pulling out my own hair and beating my head against the wall. Your suggestion about being in nature is a very good one. That definitely slows me down. I also find that my regular meditation practice is very helpful. But I still have a ways to go and I appreciate all your suggestions! ~Kathy

    1. Hi Kathy,

      Thanks for finding me! You are most welcome! I know, we all learn good things as we grow up as rushing and accomplishing is a natural part of young age.

      Yes, I have always found solace in the company of nature. I have spent hours with her and felt enriched. The calmness of natural sounds really heal you emotionally as well as spiritually. Meditation in her company is all the more effective.

      I agree, learning is a life long process and we keep on improving with time and experience! Thank you for being a part of Emotional Shadows, greatly appreciated.

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