Friendship: Why Are Some Friends So Special?

friendship013

The word ‘friendship’ has trailed me since childhood. I could never find a satisfactory definition of this word. More than friends, I have been fascinated by the charisma of this word – ‘friendship.’

I don’t have any memories of childhood friends and often wonder – did I have any friends? I remember I could never take an initiative to walk up to a person and say something.

I always waited, thinking…do they like me? Will they be friends with me?

Probably I was an introvert, though I didn’t know the meaning of this word at that time. Even now, I have a few friends whom I can count on my fingertips.

Probably my definition of friendship is different.

“Friends are our second selves.”– Aristotle

WHY DO WE NEED ‘OUR SECOND SELVES’?

In childhood as we realize the need of companionship, we like to be with our friends to play, to feel happy, to connect, to share and we learn from them. We realize that there is actually another self, within us, which we need to discover.

In adolescence –

  • Friends play an important role in our growth
  • They become our emotional anchors
  • Help us feel confident
  • Improve our habits and behavior
  • Increase our awareness
  • Help in defining our goals
  • Develop competitive spirit
  • Challenge our strengths
  • Inspire us
  • Bring the best out of us.

There are many kinds of friends and we need all of them like the colors of a rainbow. Some provide fun and joy while others are like deep indigo, absorbing all our secrets, all the worries that we share and steer us into the brighter hues. They make us see how beautiful life is!

As adults – when we mature and move on with life, many friends are abandoned either due to circumstances or different direction that our life takes. At this stage of life we realize the worth of real friends, who adhere to us, despite all odds.

WHY ARE SOME FRIENDS SO SPECIAL?Friends

I believe we all have such friends, who hold an exceptional place in our life. We think of them in our moments of joy, more so when we are in a dilemma, when we need an advice and we know that they would be there to help.

The emotions that bind us are so inexplicable that even we fail to fathom them. Such a bonding develops slowly, over the years and gets so cemented that people marvel at its strength.

There are some unique qualities, which such friends possess:

They love unconditionally:

Like mother’s love, they never hold back anything; they never raise any questions. Real friends don’t have any expectations – they just value friendship. Their affection comes from the heart; it flows naturally like a waterfall. They never doubt your intentions even when they are instigated against you.

They pick up the vibes:

They don’t need to be told that you are distressed or disturbed. They just look into your eyes and know that you need them. They can read your heart, understand your anguish and provide succor with their touch. Their soothing words can relieve all your worries. Such friends may be very rare to find but fortunately I have seen them.

They are consistent:

They don’t change with the seasons of life. They don’t have excuses when you call them. They are so steadfast and trustworthy that people may gape at their sincerity! They uphold the old values propounded by Socrates: “Be slow to fall into friendship, but when you are in, continue firm and constant.”

They have invincible faith in you:

They don’t need to check what others say about you because they know you and believe their gut feeling. They stand by you when you need them the most, when all others abandon you under some kind of pressure or fear. You can call them at midnight, without any qualms.

They criticize you:

Real friends possess the power to point out your weaknesses. They say what is true and not just nod their heads in affirmation when you need to be corrected. They don’t hesitate in saying what might hurt you because they know how significant their words are for you. They can mold you into a positive person.

They really listen and understand:

You can share the most frightful secrets of your life with them and still feel at ease. They don’t have any pretensions, would never betray your trust or let you down. They may not have a word of wisdom to erase those memories but they surely lighten your burden.

Now the question is – how do you know you have such a friend?

The answer lies in your heart. If you can be such a person, you surely have such a friend. How aptly has George Herbert answered: “The best mirror is an old friend.”

I dedicate this post to my old friends, who have always stood by me, provided me encouragement to go on unwavering, with head above all the storms and hurricanes of life.

Have you got such friends? How did you meet them? I would love to hear your views.

If you have liked this article, please share it at your favorite social networks.

Thank you for your support. Please add your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.

Balroop Singh.

Image credit

Advertisements

17 thoughts on “Friendship: Why Are Some Friends So Special?

  1. Friends are very special Balroop. As a kid I don’t remember having any. I was quite shy and would not interact with people unless they come to me.
    After some years, I did get the chance to meet wonderful people, to build strong relationship that women who mean the world to me. They were there in times of joy and didn’t leave my side when the storm was shaking my life.
    They are very precious Balroop and we should always honor them.
    Stay well and thanks for this very nice post.

    1. Hi Marie,

      I have very few special friends and I know they can pick up my vibes. Actually I have been very slow in making friends because only when I get the positive vibes, I know here is a nice person to befriend. These vibes are spontaneous, just like intuition and when they reach me, I get attracted.

      Yes, friends are the greatest treasure, so invaluable – that I would never exchange it even for all the riches of the world! The happiness that they usher into our lives is unparalleled. I am so glad that you possess this treasure.

      Thanks for liking this post and sharing your views.

  2. Great topic,Balroop. I first learned that in order to have great friends that I needed to BE great friend first. My truest, deepest friends like me and love me unconditionally. They are amazing even with all of my shortcomings. I’ve always been blessed (and in some regards “cursed” sometimes as well) with being very vibrational with my people in general and that is a huge attraction for them. As far criticism I think it’s critical to always do so honestly yet constructively to have the best results that helps them. And sometimes folks just want an ear back…something I’ve always had to learn…to keep my mouth shut. We hope you’re having a great week, our friend! 🙂

    1. Hi Mike,

      You are right! we have to first learn to ‘be’ the kind of person we want as a friend. If we cultivate all those qualities to be reliable, understanding and loving, if we are ready to give, then only we can attract like-minded persons to us. Not all can give unconditional love, not all can accept our flaws and accept us the way we are!

      One of my colleague cum friends once happened to meet my childhood friend and while they must be discussing me, my childhood friend said: only those who can tolerate her can be her friend!! and guess who laughed and told me this? My colleague! She too valued friendship as much as real friends do.

      Thanks for your loving comments, ALWAYS appreciated. Friends like you too fall in that category.

  3. Friends add spice to our life, give solace during hard times and lend us a sense of security. Our school friends are closest to our heart as they are our true selves. Our bonding with them is very strong as we befriend them at a tender age when there is no selfish motive. A child in school falls for like minded mates, without assessing financial status as he has no vested interest. However sometimes we are lucky enough to find sincere friends later in life. It is a proven fact that without good friends life would be dull and dreary.

    1. Hi Baldeep,

      Thanks for adding your perspective and a valuable point that friends closest to our hearts are those who don’t have any vested interests. How true! Childhood friends are the dearest ones, no doubt as we grow up together, knowing and understanding each and every little aspect of our personality. Perhaps they know us better than even our siblings because they are our real confidants!

      Thanks for your kind visit, always appreciated.

  4. **They don’t need to be told that you are distressed or disturbed. They just look into your eyes and know that you need them**

    This is so very true, Balroop. I have about 5 friends like this, but NOBODY was like my sister, Kay. Nobody. She knew me inside out & still LOVED me.

    Lovely blog. I continually love clicking into your virtue learning space. xx

    1. Hi Kim,

      Thanks for liking my words, you are so kind!
      You are so right, sisters are the first and the eternal friends…supporting us through all tribulations of life, sharing little joys even if they sit far away in time and space.

      Thanks for standing by and sharing your thoughts.

  5. Hi Balroop,
    I heard an old saying… There are no strangers in this world, only friends we haven`t met.
    It is also true that we may never have met someone in person but can be their friend.

    I think there are levels of friendship… from acquaintances, where we exchange pleasantries… to good friends who have worked out differences… to our closest friends, who are family of our own choosing. Your are my soul sister.

    Warm Regards,
    Bill

  6. Hi Bill,

    Thanks for the honor, I feel blessed!

    I absolutely agree with you! Cyber world has connected us so well that we have so many such friends whose warmth can reach us through their beautiful words!
    Thanks for adding your perspective – some levels of friendship never grow into the inner circle, I concur. And some prove to be better than family, I too have some such blessings.
    I am so grateful for your loving and kind words. May God keep you blessed.

  7. We are social beings and need people. We are only a self in relationship. We need to reflect off something. It is always better to reflect off a friend than an enemy. I love that you call friends our second selves. So true. They are just reflections of us. I don’t know I would do without my friend’s support. You would make a good friend, wise woman! Wish we could chat over tea!

    1. Hi Jodi,

      Thanks for the invitation, I love it and wish I could see your sweetest smile in real! I am so happy to note that you can see a friend in me through my words. Friendship is such a blessing!
      You definitely possess that charm to win over a lot of friends…your positive vibes can be picked up through your words.
      Thanks for standing by and writing the cutest comment.

  8. Hi Balroop,

    Good to be back over at your blog after my holiday break 🙂

    Yes indeed, some friends ARE so special for the very reasons you mentioned. I think they understand you so well, even without you having to tell them things. Friendship is such a blessing in times like these, and I am so happy I’ve made more of online good friends, just like wonderful you, more than the offline ones now.

    I’ve also noticed that the friendships made during our college years or teens always stays with us, though as we grow older, we tend to make fewer friends, real friends I mean – at least offline. Perhaps it’s different with others, but I guess the more you get involved in your families, children, or career, the further you are from making friends, which needs your attention.

    Thanks for sharing, and have a nice week ahead 🙂

    1. Hi Harleena,

      You are most welcome. I hope your break was refreshing and enjoyable.
      Thanks you for being such a nice and kind person, I truly value your friendship. You are right, online friends too contribute a lot to enhance our personality and we learn from each other with every passing day!

      The few friends I have are the ones I made at school and college, very few colleagues can be real friends and I was quite lucky to have picked a few of them. I often wonder why we lose the ability to make new friends as we grow older but I am so glad to have made wonderful friends through my blog.

      Thanks for a very thoughtful comment, it is greatly valued.

  9. Hi Balroop, thanks for sharing these reflections on friends and the power of friendship. I too have a handful of friends that I’ve known since childhood who continue to be my best friends until today. They were there during some very difficult times in my life and I am very grateful for them.

    I strive to keep these friends more in my life these days by making time for them. Sometimes with the busyness of life, we tend to forget most about the people who are most supportive and helpful to us.

    1. Hi Vishnu,

      I am so pleased to hear that you have some real friends who stand by you whenever you need them. Yes, childhood friends are the most precious ones…you know very well, old is gold!

      Friendship is undoubtedly reciprocal. When we know how dear those friends are to our heart, we tend to find time for them. Thanks for standing by despite your busy travelling schedule. I appreciate your friendship. Cyber friends too are equally valuable.

Comments are closed.