Emotions have always nudged me, enthused me and directed me more than analytical thinking. Intellect always takes a back seat when emotions become more powerful.
I have to be emotionally present whatever the work, the occasion or the situation.
I believe that all real relationships are based on emotions. A healthy and happy relationship values emotions more than any other aspect of life.
Emotions are ebullient and eloquent, they feel all important, and they always try to dominate. However hard do we try to harness them, they flow in their own direction. They know those channels of escape. They refuse to get enslaved; their wings are too tender to be clipped.
When we try to snub them, the expanse of consequences is much wider than we can imagine.
When a parent is emotionally absent:
The children yearn for his/her love, care and sensitivity, feel confused and slowly reconcile to the absence of that most important component of growing up.
They grow up into emotionally fragile individuals who don’t want to exhibit their emotions.
They can never feel connected with such a parent even when they know how to handle their emotions.
They fail to express their feelings effectively and their warmth remains suppressed. A peculiar dissonance flows in their relationships.
They may feel insecure and chaotic deep within but carry a brave exterior – a façade of authority.
How to be emotionally present when you interact with your children:
- Emotionally connected homes exude love and care.
- All the members of the family express themselves freely.
- They have a family time when they talk about their worries, concerns and aspirations.
- They have play time, fun time and music time, which they spend together, trying to know each other and learn fundamental values of life.
- They share their joys and sorrows and support each other despite differences.
“Let’s not forget”, says Vincent Van Gogh, “that the little emotions are the great captains of our lives and we obey them without realizing it.”
When a spouse is emotionally absent:
Such a relationship never grows beyond a level, which is quite superficial.
Love is never expressed in words and the efforts of one partner who endeavors to build an emotional bridge are met with lies, excuses and ambivalence.
Whatever the reason of lack of emotional bonding, communication remains the most challenging aspect.
When the hearts do not respond to each other, rifts get wider without any discussion on the emotional level.
The chasms become so apparent that they create abysses for the development of children.
There is no doubt that such a couple may divorce when emotional starving becomes unbearable.
How to emotionally connect with your spouse:
- Emotionally connected couples are overtly communicative and discuss each and every topic that concerns them or their children.
- They pass on a healthy message through their attitudes, without laying any emphasis on the need to express their true feelings.
- Their feelings and emotions flow naturally into the lives of people around them, laying down a strong foundation of strong, happy and balanced personalities.
- They are never judgmental and accept their differences as a part of each other’s personality.
Lets not forget “You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back.”- Barbara D. Angelis
When children are emotionally disconnected:
It is very agonizing when our own children choose to get disconnected. Probably the reason lies with us.
We may have hurt them grievously when they were growing up. Emotional chords snap off at those moments of hurt, which persists.
We could have been too controlling as a parent or emotionally absent when they needed us.
They could be feeling stressed due to the attitude of their partners, who could be responsible for distancing them.
Whatever the reason, emotionally absent sons or daughters cause irreparable hurt to their parents. It can never be fathomed.
Since they feel that they are now living an independent life, nothing can bring them back. It is better to detach from such relationships and find solace elsewhere.
Do you live at the mercy of your emotions?
Is detachment more agonizing than emotional absence?
Isn’t it passive abuse? I am waiting for your answers.
Let’s not make emotional disconnect our destiny. We can walk out without harming anybody.
We can emerge stronger if we let go, if we accept the harsh truths of life, if we realize that such people who choose to disconnect can never understand our emotions.
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