How Negative Emotions Can Be Beneficial For Our Personality?


Negative emotions are more powerful and dominant. They invade uninvited; they affect our thoughts and behavior instantaneously and refuse to be tamed easily.

Since childhood we are trained to control these emotions but however hard we may try to bury them, they keep coming back, raising their ugly head again and again to remind us that we have to confront them.

We are encouraged to dismiss them, shun them as their implicit impact is considered to be negative – a streak that discolors our personality.

I don’t support this outlook.

My conviction is that negative emotions play a meaningful role in molding our personality:

  • They unlatch the doors of understanding and learning
  • They enhance our confidence
  • They give us a wide exposure
  • They impel us towards introspection
  • They help us in developing resilience
  • They assist us in building better relationships

“Negative emotions like loneliness, envy and guilt have an important role to play in a happy life; they’re big, flashing signs that something needs to change.” – Gretchen Rubin

Lets analyze them.


It may be a natural emotion but it is detested by all. Angry outbursts often make us unpopular but it is only after we have experienced this emotion that we comprehend the need of calm behavior.

Anger has been my companion since childhood and whenever it got activated, I could feel the blood gushing through my veins as if they would burst, my blood pressure rising but in the whirlwind of anger, I could also experience its consequences, the unidentified thoughts rushing to issue a warning – enough!

When we watch an angry person, reacting in an uncivilized manner, don’t we get the alert? Don’t we promise ourselves to respect tranquility?

Anger may be a negative emotion but it leads us to positive paths of acceptance, of reflection and tolerance. When the anger subsides, we try to find some answers – what makes us angry? How can we check the flow of this negativity?

Anger slowly guides us towards serenity when we realize that the latter has incredible power to tame anger.


Nobody tells us to hate yet this innate emotion surfaces quite early when we are growing and forming our opinions about people.

It is through hatred that we learn the meaning of love. It is through this emotion that we learn about the prejudices against people and how important it is to overcome them.

The stark distinctions unravel before our own eyes when we meet different kinds of people.

“We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do to ourselves.” – Mitch Albom

Whether hatred is directed towards a person or a group, an attitude or somebody’s behavior, deep rooted or temporary, this emotion disseminates a feeling of righteousness in the minds of people. It upholds the values of justice, honor and equality. One person’s hatred becomes another person’s lesson.

Fear:Negative emotions

The fear of loneliness keeps us connected with people, the fear of getting disliked teaches us at a very early age that we must be pleasant, kind and cooperative to our friends.

The fear of competition, the fear of failure, the fear of others’ success acquaints us with the most coveted values of life. These fears keep us motivated to stay focused, to struggle harder and learn from our disappointments.

The fear of losing our emotional anchors, the fear of the unknown, of being inadequate may frighten us but they also give us the courage to face the cruel realities of life.

The fear of uncertain future keeps us striving for something better. It adds greater value to our life.

It is the fear of dark that infuses in us the determination to find light, to hope for brighter days,

You must have experienced this dilemma of conquering fear, which makes us stronger and more resilient.

So why get scared of this negative emotion, which steers us towards positivity?


It is during the gloomy moments of life that we remember how blissful happiness is. Sadness shows us the cheerfulness in its right perspective.

We can value happiness only after we have encountered those depressing days we loathe.

Grief familiarizes us with those little joys we failed to appreciate when they lingered around us, unnoticed.

The blessings of life assume a special connotation after we emerge victorious from our suffering. It helps us develop patience, forbearance and calmness. It gives us the gift of introspection.

“Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.” – Hellen Keller

Anxiety, nervousness, jealousy, arrogance have one thing in common. They are natural teachers. If you follow them, befriend them; they may play with your emotions for a while but the prudence that accompanies them often seeps into your personality unawares.

Negative emotions are very subtle and deceptive. They absorb more energy but they often walk away victorious, testing our patience and strength, ennobling us, belittling our ego, thereby transforming us into humble human beings.

Do you dismiss negative emotions without dealing with them?

Do they knock you down or do you learn something positive from them?

I am eagerly waiting for your answers.

If you have liked this article, please share it at your favorite social networks. 

Thank you for your support. Please share your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.

Balroop Singh.



30 thoughts on “How Negative Emotions Can Be Beneficial For Our Personality?

  1. hi balroop; a wonderfully instightful post about negative emotions and how they can show us the better more positive parts of ourselves. while reading i was reminded of a scene in the movie oh god not sure if it was the first one or the sequel. but george burns as god is asked why there has to be suffering in the world. he answers kind of like you just did. he says have you ever seen a bottom without a top, a left without a right, a down without an up? he says I never figured out how to do that. i was once attacked by two black teens while riding one of my family’s carnival rides. yet i have never felt any ill will towards any race and am often at odds with family because of this. i was once mauled by a german shepherd but have come to know many great dogs and call most of them friends. i have often been afraid of failure or looking stupid but as i get over that fear and take more chances i receive so many more blessings. you did something great here my friend. blessing to you, max

    1. Hi Max,

      I am glad you liked this post and could relate with it so well. Yes, the positive aspects lurk behind, we can only see them when we accept that negativity imposes itself on us. Only when we peel the layers of a situation or a person, do we view the positive picture. All the suffering we have to go through leaves us with the learning experiences we value.

      I can understand how your own experiences that you have shared here, contributed to understanding humanity better. I agree with you, fear is one such emotion that strikes suddenly but recedes as we challenge it.

      Thanks dear friend, for visiting my blog and saying such kind words. Stay blessed!

  2. I agree, Balroop that negative emotions can bring us to a positive place. I think anger is a difficult emotion for us women. We’ve been taught that it is not okay to show anger yet it is so unhealthy NOT to express it. I love the quotes you have shared here,too!

    1. Hi Lisa,

      I have always expressed my anger as I don’t believe in the diktat that women should control their anger. My question is why only women?

      I have written about anger and if you missed the link that I have provided within this post, you must click on ‘angry outbursts’ to access that article.

      Thanks for your continued support Lisa, I love that!

  3. I don’t support “them” either, Balroop. Take fear for example, for eons religions and political organizations have used (continuously, I might add) fear to control people. Fear and myriad other emotions are, when viewed in simple terms, choices we make. In choosing to allow a negative emotion to take control, people (I’ll use the word) suffer the consequences. People simply have to be more aware of their emotions and how they choose to let them affect. As soon as I consciously recognize an emotion and identify what has triggered it, I make a choice about how I am going to deal with what has presented. It’s that simple. Yet people all too often choose to wallow and be drained by emotions. Sad, in my opinion. Good post!

    1. Yes Eric, controlling people through ‘fear’ continues even now, in the name of culture, traditions and religion – for good as well as wicked designs. Sometimes we have no choice, we have to accept the control and the terror…that could be the continuing causes of terrorism and oppression – very much a real part of many countries. I guess just awareness does not suffice when it comes to challenging such fears.

      We may be capable of tackling some emotions on an individual level but when they involve the whole community, the race or the region, it becomes quite difficult.
      Thanks, dear friend for adding another perspective to this post. Stay blessed!

  4. It’s also said by some that to feel fear is a lack of Faith. That can become quite dicey to accept unconditionally in many different life circumstances. I’ve done my best to take any negative feelings or emotions to envelope myself with self-awareness. Good post, Balroop 🙂

    1. Hi Mike,

      I think faith and fear are two sides of the same coin called life! Where there is fear, there surely is faith through which we try to banish fear away.
      When we try to assimilate negative emotions, they slowly change their form and nuance.
      Thanks for your visit, dear friend. I always look forward to it 🙂

  5. Life definitely isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, and to try to profess otherwise is a mistake. This is such a great post in getting at how we need the negative to arrive at a better good. I haven’t been writing in my journal much lately, but I need too. That is one way I deal with the negative and turn it around.

    1. Hi Jeri,

      I have always loved the clouds too, the darker the better! They give such a variety, they bring along the puddles, the little ponds and the paper boats. We learn to appreciate rainbow only after we have danced in the rain.

      Life seems to be a blessing if we try to contemplate as those are the moments, which remind us about the murkier times we have turned around!

      Thanks for standing by! I really appreciate it.

  6. This comes at the perfect time for me Balroop, cause I am working on this right now, accepting negative émotions and dealing with them, transforming them into something positive for my life.
    Since childhood, I tend to push them away, to resist negative emotions, to not deal with them. But recently I realised that it was doing me no good to act this way, that I was putting lots of energy in order to avoir them.
    Since I accept these emotions, I understand things better and I can make the needed changes. It’s much better!

    Stay well and keep inspiring us Balroop. Love from France

    1. wow! Marie, acceptane is so powerful. I think when we don’t accept them, we are invalidating ourselves and that is why they stay strong and we continue to be upset. Our ego tells us that it is protecting us but really it is leading us to more suffering. You are rocking it! Love to France!

      1. Hi Jodi,

        Nice to see you! Your views add an authentic and professional touch to the conversation. Thanks for sharing your perspective. I appreciate it, as always.

    2. Hi Marie,

      I have learnt a lot from accepting negative shadows, attitudes and comments. When they try to overpower our spirit, positivity suddenly becomes alert and kicks it in the butt! So it is futile to shove the negative emotions, if we try, they lurk around us making us feel miserable.
      Please keep up the efforts to confront them and you will see how they fade away!
      Thanks for sharing your honest views. Stay blessed!

  7. While I don’t like experiencing negative emotions, I think it’s important for me to explore and find where they’re coming from. There is much to be learned from the shadow side. It tells us what we’re lacking and what we’re in need of and by improving on these areas we grow.

    1. Hi Suzi,

      Nobody likes negative emotions…Alas! they are a part of human growth and we all have to face them at various occasions. I think we don’t have a choice when they raise their head, unawares. I have myself felt at sea when I had to deal with them and it takes a lot of energy to turn them around.
      The shadow side gives the realistic experiences, it builds our resilience and prepares us to move ahead with confidence.
      Thanks for your insight, much appreciated.

  8. Hi Balroop,

    Sorry for being so late this time…just been overwhelming at my blog with lots to catch up with 🙂

    Coming to your wonderful post, yes, it’s always tough to deal with negative emotions for most of us. Anger is one that’s a hard one I would say because you just have no control when you are angry. Once you do that, you tend to break relationships or hurt the feelings of the other person. It’s just SO bad!

    Hatred and jealousy too leads you nowhere! You honestly gain nothing and there is a constant crib, crib, crib kind of a feeling carrying on within yourself if you hate someone, and where does that let you live in peace!

    Sadness is one that is tough for me at times because even though I know it’s a negative emotion, sometimes you just are saddened by so many events that it takes time to come back to normal. You might be sad or cry, or not know how to face things in such a state. Time and self-talks help a great deal here.

    I wish we knew how to take control of our emotions, which in a way we do, provided we work for it.

    Thanks for sharing. Have a nice week ahead 🙂

  9. Hi Harleena,

    You are welcome at any time! I know what a busy blog you have and with community building, which is a big task, it must be so hectic.

    Negative emotions may be difficult to deal with but they prove to be a blessing in disguise because they help us in understanding life and relationships. They make us wiser and patient. Since they are a part of our development, they too mold us into better human beings.

    Thanks for taking out the time to read and contributing to the discussion. You too have a blessed week 🙂

  10. very analytical observations , bal , providing greater clarity to a subject on which new perspectives can always be added . your post took me back to over two decades ago to a learned discourse by a spiritual head setting forth on life and its purpose , significance of opposites such as good and evil , night and day , happiness and sorrow , fear and courage , greed and generosity etc . everything exists with a purpose and hence the key is to develop enough awareness , whereby one serves to mellow , temper , refine the other and , in the process , keeping the mellowed , tempered and refined other in a state of balance , equanimity and harmony…best wishes…raj .

    1. Hi Raj, thank you for mentioning all the opposites – we need to understand their true significance in our life to make it more meaningful!
      While it is interesting to see how a greedy person evolves into a generous one…striking a balance between the two extremes is quite challenging. Some people spend whole of their life, struggling with negative emotions…that is why we need such reminders on regular basis.

      Thanks for a very mature perspective, I appreciate it.

  11. Great message and applicable to most of us. Its good to discuss about these regular guests – the negative emotions and how to deal with them. There are several ways and one of them I wish to share.

    In one of his Q&A sessions Sri Sri Ravishanker replies: when we breathe correctly and do regular breathing exercises we are energized, relaxed and in good humor. Even going for walks helps as it oxygenates the body and mind and negative emotions just dis-appear. There is no need to confront or try to block them as they will return with greater force.

    Cheers 🙂

    1. Hi Dilip,

      Welcome to my blog! Thanks for the kind words. I don’t consider negative emotions as guests, they form an essential part of our personality and I think some of them are inborn. Our role is to handle them effectively, mold them and turn them around to complement our positive aspect 🙂

      Thanks for sharing the wisdom of the great motivator. I agree, when we take care of our health and body, it responds positively…walking on regular basis brings unlimited thoughts…most of my conflicts are resolved while walking.

      I am grateful to you for contributing to the discussion here and look forward to similar interactions.

  12. I wholeheartedly agree that negative emotions can be an asset to personal growth for any individual so long as they are experienced in a “healthy” environment and in “moderate” amounts. I think it becomes dangerous if these negative emotions are allowed to run rampant to extremes and/or in an environment that does not have human interests at heart.

    With that being said, you bring to light a very important observation – the need for introspection and reflection in our own lives. When we take the time to step back from ourselves, recognize the emotions and triggers for those feelings, we are able to appreciate its diametrically opposed emotional partner and work to incorporate more it into our lives.

    Very insightful and thought-provoking article, thank you for sharing and best wishes for an inspired day!

    1. Hi Dave,

      Thank you for adding so much value to this post with your insight. I totally agree with you, healthy environment adds a perfect charm to all kind of emotions, even negative aspects can be handled well!

      I appreciate your visits and the inspiration that your words provide. Have a blessed day!

  13. Once again, a very interesting and thought-provoking post, Balroop. I’ve never thought of negative emotions the way you’ve talked about them. It’s almost like we need to know negative emotions so we can appreciate and come to the positive ones they inspire. i love your wise words here: Negative emotions are very subtle and deceptive. They absorb more energy but they often walk away victorious, testing our patience and strength, ennobling us, belittling our ego, thereby transforming us into humble human beings. I will now start considering my negative emotions as my humility-enabler and teacher – thank you for your perspective and writing yet another wisdom-filled post!

    1. Hi Vishnu,

      Thank you for understanding my thoughts so well! I am so glad that I have conveyed the negativity in a positive manner…seems paradoxical but it is so true!

      I know you are so familiar with negative emotions and you must have struggled to shove them away but you also know that when we embrace them, accept them to be a part of our life and absorb them, do we emerge out of them. They teach us the depth of relationships, they acquaint us with our own strengths, they empower us to be well prepared for the next onslaught.

      Why avoid them when they are so helpful? Let them come even if uninvited for we have no control over their visit but we do have the power to vanquish them.

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