Why Are Birthdays So Special And Emotionally Charged Moments

sleeping2-c-akirahbabe.blogspot.com_Every year there was a day when this girl waited for darkness to descend soon. She also waited for the house to be quiet and then she cried her heart out, silently, to her pillow. The sobs would not subside till she fell asleep.

She knew nobody is going to empathize with her tears, she knew nobody would even ask what was her problem. She had known that for eight years now and she didn’t expect any words of affection.

The sobs of this little girl would have never ceased if the Birthday fairy had not given her the assurances. She caressed her long, soft hair and sat beside her. She told her very softly that there would come a time when people around her would not forget her birthday. She assured her that this day was going to be the happiest day of her life only if she waits a few years.

This childhood fantasy gave great solace to her, assuaged her hurts and raised her hopes.

The first few lessons she learnt were that a girl can never claim to be equal… that birthdays are only for boys…that girls have no right to question certain norms of her society.

But she also learnt to think positive.

She kept her hopes and expectations to herself. She didn’t want to share them in the fear of getting disliked.

Conflicting emotions churned in her heart and mind, trying to balance out.

Seeing seemed more powerful at that impressionable age but she didn’t let those impressions entrench themselves in her. She took an inspiration from the subjugation and discrimination, which stared starkly at her face.

Her promises to herself kept getting firmer with each year. She learnt new lessons with each put down and her resilience grew to unimaginable heights. In fact it became an invincible part of her personality.

At least she had the freedom of thought, she told herself. At least she had the capabilities to distinguish between virtues and vices. At least she had the opportunities of learning, which many around her were deprived of.

All who live in neglect are not that strong, they have the tendency to drift into negative crevices. They learn to accept all the atrocities calmly.

All are not so positive and imaginative to have met the birthday fairies!

For her, birthday was just another day till she met her soul mate.

Were childhood dreams true or was this just another phase of life? – this question often reverberated around her.

Yes, a day did come when there was no dearth of flowers, cards and wishes around her on her birthday.

It followed year after year. Her husband made this day special for her in all the loving ways. Her friends, her students and her children added brilliance with their smiles and wishes.

Birthday was not just another day now. It ushered in new delight, even the sunshine seemed to be special!

Birthday Quote

All this could be possible just because she met an open minded man who let her flower into a luminous personality, who didn’t impose his views on her, who didn’t consider her to be another woman of his era but respected her.

Celebrating birthday of all the children of the house is essential as:

  • It gives them pleasant memories,
  • Makes them sensitive
  • They learn the values of togetherness and love
  • They grow up into cheerful and confident individuals,
  • Happiness of those little moments, which make them the center of attraction, is a learning experience for them,
  • Highlights the importance of self-love

We all cherish childhood memories; clutch them all the more as we grow up; they conjure up those moments of delight when we look at a familiar spot or a child we love… and the childhood yearnings return.

Birthdays are those landmarks, which evoke such memories. Some special emotions are attached to them…love, gratitude, respect, admiration, pride and honor are imbibed effortlessly.

Do you have any such memories, which are difficult to share?

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Thank you for your support. Please add your valuable comments, they are much appreciated.

Balroop Singh.

Image credit: http://princesskaurvaki.com

 

 

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24 thoughts on “Why Are Birthdays So Special And Emotionally Charged Moments

  1. HI Balroop,
    Birthdays for me were always exciting times in my life. I remember every birthday from the age of 8 or so. My parents always made it a point to make it special with a cake and gifts and parties. But secretly I wished the only gift they would give me was time. Today my daughter revolves her whole year around her birthday…and I allow it. I know my parents did the best they could and I know I have learnt and am doing the best I can. I give my daughter the gift of time all year only to be completely there for her on her special day. She happily tells me now : “its your special day too mama. Allah gifted me to you on this day.” …and she is a gift.
    Thank you for this post love. Many emotions have been stirred.
    Much Love,
    Z~

    1. Dear Zeenat,

      Thanks for sharing your experiences and the love that drives you! You must be an exceptional mother! The best gift we can give to our children is time. If we are around when they need us, they grow up into very secure and happy individuals.

      I am so happy to note that this post has touched your heart. I was so double minded about posting it! Thanks Z~ you are awesome! Love Always.

  2. Wow, wow, wow….this was amazing, Balroop! I absolutely loved it. Birthdays can be a very finicky date on the calendar and/or yearly life event for us, can’t they? I have always believed that a person’s birthday is Their Day! A date to celebrate that they have lived another year…hopefully in a life full of happiness. And to know that there is yet another one to come. I was talking with mom on the phone on the way to work yesterday and she remarked how fast time goes by the older we get. I said I wish it was reversed…but that is not the case. And birthdays seem to mark that reminder each year. Most of my birthdays have been, so thankfully, remembered by my closest friends. I’m very grateful to them for that. Hugs to you and have a wonderful week! 🙂

    1. Hi Mike,

      Yes, I too think that Birthdays are special days! This is one day which calls for celebrations just for the feeling…the feeling of being loved and cared, surrounded by lots of friends! Yes, real birthday is the one, which is remembered by friends as they add a special charm to this day!

      I have become more attached to this day with the passage of time, often wondering why attachments get stronger! Thanks for sharing your thoughts about your birthday. Stay blessed!

  3. Thank you for this illuminating article Balroop. It is odd, though nonetheless a fact, that anniversaries of all kinds may evoke strong feelings within one. For myself, the strongest are those dates on which a loved one died. As to birthdays, I am somewhat ambivalent about them, recognising their import to some whilst never attaching any significance to my own beyond them being a sort of time-stamp: another 365 days have passed, maybe 366, another 12 lunar cycles completed, maybe 13. It almost seems arbitrary; and yet perhaps we have an inner need for such markers.

    1. Hi Hariod,

      It is strange that death anniversaries are more emotional for you. Aren’t they solemn occasions when we just sit and remember our loved ones and could never evoke those feelings of exhilaration and celebration?

      I don’t know whether I should call it spiritual or philosophical…or cynical view and would like to dig deeper. I can understand that the excitement of celebrating happiness wanes with time and age as compared to youngsters but it remains alive with loving family members and friends.

      Thanks for sharing your perspective though it seems to be quite incomplete. Stay blessed!

      1. Hi Balroop.

        Why do you find it strange that anniversaries of deaths are more emotional for me? I think that is a universal and quite natural state of affairs is it not? Of course they do not evoke “feelings of exhilaration and celebration”! You appear to be conflating emotions with states of excitement and joy alone.

        Can you please explain your thinking Balroop?

        Best wishes.

        Hariod.

  4. Hi Balroop,

    That was so touching…and who was that girl…was it you? 🙂

    I can understand all the feelings and emotions of that small a child and things she must have undergone to be treated differently from her brothers, because many families our end too have this kind of a treatment, and not just for birthdays – it’s a daily routine where the boy child is given reference anytime and for anything!

    Children are ALL equal and should be treated with the same love and care, whether a boy or a girl. I think they all love birthdays and the special treatment given to them – the gifts, cakes and what all not.

    I am glad she found the lost love and care in her soul-mate years later, and now it’s a day no one ever forgets…so beautiful and precious that day would mean for her.

    Thanks for sharing. Have a nice week ahead 🙂

    1. Hi Harleena,

      Thanks for liking this post so much and understanding the emotions connected with it. There are still many girls in our society who yearn for love and celebrations, who never get to see them as biases are so deep-rooted in many families that it might take thousands of years to eliminate them.

      What I have tried to convey is that positive thinking can go a long way in shaking off age old traditions and beliefs and I have a firm conviction that we can rise above those 🙂

      Thanks for your insights, greatly appreciated. Have a blessed week.

  5. Aw, Balroop this made me very sad in some ways but also the strength of that little girl (;)) amazes me! A Birthday Fairy!! Yes to that. She found her soul mate and oh, how she deserves that. Birthdays are so very special and as we get older it’s less about the cake and gift and more about our loved ones giving us a hug and a smile. CHEERS xo

    1. Hi Lisa,

      We all possess that strength…it lies within us only if we let it unleash itself! I like your outlook, celebrating the love and the emotions attached to the occasion are more important than the gifts.
      Thanks for lovely, positive thoughts. CHEERS to your Martini celebrations 🙂

  6. Birthdays are indeed charged events, especially when one is young. Even though my childhood wasn’t always a happy one, I do have lots of good birthday memories. My two older sisters always made sure to decorate and do invitations when my mom was feeling too blue to do any of those things. This year was the first year my mom didn’t call on my birthday. She called a couple of days late, but still…

    1. How nice! Your sisters need a Big hug for all that as they gave you such special memories. I know sisters are always the best, they have some special connection with our vibes, which that can pick spontaneously!
      Thanks Jeri, for sharing your loving memories.

  7. I almost cry reading your lines Balroop. Cause this is the destiny of so many girls around the world. Thought you’re right every one of us can change this and fight back. I admire the strength of this girl.
    Birthdays are very SPECIAL to me. It’s one the greateast time to celebrate life, the life of a human being, a person I love, a kind soul. It boosts self confidence and invite us to see how special every one is.
    Thank you for sharing this story with us and such wisdom between each one of your lines.
    Stay blessed always.

    1. Yes Marie, many girls live in autocratic and prejudiced societies and have very little hope of emerging out yet God has granted us enough strength to fight back and claim our rights.

      You know what…too much love also weakens us so it is good to have some such unpleasant experiences, which expose us to the weaknesses of others to understand life and deal with it in our own way. We do get that opportunity when we grow up.

      Thanks for reading between the lines! Love Always!

  8. Actually tears welled up in my eyes as I can truly understand it. I dont remember how my birthdays were celebrated when I was a child but as I grew up I always have been very sensitive about my birthdays and of those, who are special for me. I make it a point to wish everyone and expect the same. Though lately I have started buying something for the poor instead of spending on myself or throwing a party on my birthday. However I love attending birthday parties. The girl in question is the luckiest one in today’s date. God has compensated in abundance to wash away the bad childhood memories.

    1. Hi Baldeep,

      Thanks for understanding the emotions embedded in this post so well! When we don’t express certain feelings for a long time, they keep haunting even when they lose their relevance. The hurting moments that fleet by should best be forgotten.

      I appreciate your gesture of thinking about the deprived and the downtrodden as they are the ones who really deserve a party. Such persons are truly blessed.
      Thanks for sharing your lovely thoughts.

  9. Tears… This girl reminds me so much of myself. My parents never forgot my birthday, but they never really celebrated it. I wasn’t because I was a girl, but because I never asked for anything special. I used to cry silently and pray for my special birthday. I had to wait 40 years. I had my first surprise birhday party when I turned 40.

    1. Aww Nikky, you are so sweet! I am so sorry to have stirred your emotions…such hurts leave a permanent mark on our psyche though we keep it brushing aside.
      Thanks for sharing your thoughts, it is so cathartic, healing begins by accepting that past has to be shunted out of our systems.
      Wishing you many more surprise birthday parties!

  10. very touching story balroop…birthdays are important; for the young, as a celebration with parents and friends as one becomes the cynosure of all eyes, and for the old, as an occasion for connecting with kith and kin. Either way, it certainly adds to the feeling of well being…

    1. Hi Raj,

      Thanks for understanding the emotions that are embedded in this post. I feel children are more sensitive to such celebrations as they feel they hold some value in the lives of those they feel attached to… since they grow up in a peer group that believes in such celebrations. Yes, birthdays do provide a good opportunity to organise get togethers we look forward to, as we grow up!

      Thanks for your kind visit, much appreciated 🙂

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