Fears And Unknown Anxieties… Do They Keep Returning?


Do fears hibernate like reptiles? Are they similar to anxieties?

To my mind, most fears are external, caused by people and circumstances. Anxieties are internal – they could be unshared thoughts that scare us or cause uneasiness.

I eliminated my fears long back, having convinced myself that nothing scares me. I could face all kinds of people – the angry mother, the bullying brother, the intimidating boss, clever and selfish friends, the insecure colleagues, the indignant parents and some unruly students staring at me, with dagger eyes!

Interviews have never given me any nervous feeling albeit I have failed many.

I always had the courage to say whatever I wanted to… I have been called outspoken and rude for my temerity to stand up to injustice.

I always tried to close my eyes to those shadows of the past that followed me, warning them that they were powerless.

I have emerged out of them, knowing well that I could vanquish them with the bold spirit that I seem to have inherited.

That sinking of the heart when the airplane shudders in the air, that same feeling when the earthquake strikes is the only conscious and uncontrollable fear that lurks around me and I tell myself… ‘Well, I am not afraid of death. I am ready for it!’

As a child, whenever I closed my eyes to sleep, a small web like circle would always go round and round, multiplying itself into many. I could never interpret them or share that fear with anybody. Too scared to see it in reality, I would close my eyes tighter and they would keep on spinning, creating a contraction in my heart and a lump in my throat.

I could deal with those unknown fears alone. I have never shared this visual with anyone, thinking nobody would believe me. I knew I would be scoffed at.

I refused to struggle with the external fears and told myself that they are just a creation of my mind.

I have always lived like ‘I have nothing to fear’, as Fran Sorin’s guest, Tess Marshall, creator of The Bold Life suggests.

Intimidation could never affect me. My positive thoughts were stronger than bullying or accepting defeat.

I know I have emerged with invincible resilience.Slide1

Even after all these experiences with fear, after having defeated all of them, some fears are quite strange and inexplicable as they return in my dreams, even now.

May be in my eagerness to fight all kinds of fears, they got entrenched in my subconscious mind, revealing themselves only in dreams and that too in a vague, weird manner!

Whenever I have a feeling of insecurity or distress, I sleep badly. The nightmares are not very intense but I often wake up, having lost, unable to cross a water body or being surrounded by a sudden surge of water. If I try to take a different route to return home, water bars my way.

This recurrent dream has been quite consistent and whenever it returns, a grim reminder hits me – you can dismiss fears, bury them, forget them but you can’t completely wipe them out of your system as they slide into the inner recesses of our mind and get activated in the most unexpected manner.

I share my fears only with my inner voice.

I have been learning to calm them down with the most logical approach that fear is an innate emotion; all fears are a product of this emotion.

Can we eliminate an inborn emotion? Then why do we delude ourselves with the belief that we can obliterate ‘fear’ out of our minds?

I have written about this delusion.

You can click to read more: Swamped By Fears? The Real Monsters…

Thank you for reading this. I am sure you have some thoughts about fear. Please share them.

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Thank you for your support. Please add your valuable comments, they are much appreciated.

Balroop Singh.

Image credit: http://m.diary.ru


28 thoughts on “Fears And Unknown Anxieties… Do They Keep Returning?

    1. I don’t think so. Fears have a more profound definition than just a dark room and I have tried to pinpoint them in my earlier article whose link is provided at the end of this post. Please read that and then analyse Fear.

      Thanks for the comment, dear friend.

  1. It is interesting how you differentiate fear from anxiety. I’ll have to inspect it a bit more the next time I feel those uneasy feeling pervading my space.

    1. Thanks Suzi, for noticing what most people think are the same. We have to develop self-awareness to understand fears and anxieties, which have two different definitions. Since I don’t like defining terms in my articles, I leave it open-ended for my readers to accept whatever they believe is right for them.

  2. Fear is both bad and good.Love can conquer fears. Certain fears are necessary though, to keep us safe. I agree, Balroop that some fear is ingrained in our bodies and it will respond to situations by bringing up that fear whether it’s real or imagined.It’s learning how to handle it. You’ve learned how to do that very well with your courage. Great post!!

    1. Hi Lisa,

      It is interesting to note that fear can be good! I have never met the good side and even if I do, I would shoo it away as fear, to my mind is always associated with control, oppressive behavior and intimidation. I would like to take this further…I have been contemplating how love can conquer fears…may be some specific sort?

      Thanks for raising such an intriguing point and adding value to this post.

  3. Hi Balroop,

    Let me start by wishing you a very Happy New Year, as this is my first comment and visit to your blog in this year 🙂

    Coming to the post, I wish I had something good to add about fears, but those are and have been limited to my childhood memories, I think when I was afraid of the dark. You know the time when we read ghost stories and saw horror movies…lol…and then being unable to sleep at night – twisting and turning and seeing figures all over, and rushing to my parents room or praying hard! But all of that was very loooong ago, something I overcame when I grew up.

    The small things that’ve always helped me is fighting out the fears – a strong will power, a push, a strong mind, positive approach, self talk, prayers and dear God who is always beside and within me. The last was what my Mom instilled in us as kids to fight the demons as they say, and it’s always stayed. I know you too have overcome that phase, isn’t it?

    Thanks for sharing this with us. Have a nice week, and a lovely year ahead 🙂

    1. Hi Harleena,

      Thanks for the wishes.
      Fears are not limited to childhood, there are many more…Once we grow out of basic childhood and adolescent fears, the real monsters strike us! The fear of competition, the fear of failure, the fear of others’ success bothers us…makes us doubt our own capabilities! The fear of losing our emotional anchors, the fear of the unknown, of being inadequate frightens us.

      Liberation from fears, whether they are external or internal, is therefore very important to accomplish our goals.
      Thanks for sharing your personal experience with the fears.

  4. “Fear is an innate emotion”

    That’s right Balroop; it is. Our nervous systems are all the same, and only by very small degrees do they differ in the responses they emit to awareness. Yet even here, the emissions must take up residence somewhere if not in awareness. Hypnotherapy can be very good at unlocking suppressed (subconscious) fears, and one can do it oneself in silent contemplation with practice.

    With gratitude and respect.

    Hariod ❤

    1. Hi Hariod,

      I often wonder why do our brains react to fears differently if they are all the same. I have seen that some of my friends could never overcome the external fears. They could be easily intimidated by authoritative people. Don’t you think some of us fail to rise up to the much needed boldness in those situations of oppressive attitudes of people who try to suppress? Only few can lead, not all!

      Thank you for a thought provoking insight. you are so good at them.
      With reverence, Balroop

      1. Who knows the true complexities of it all Balroop? I think much of what determines our responses to what you describe as being ‘external’ in origin is conditioned. If early on we find that a strategy appears more-or-less to work, then we simply continue to adopt it as a conditioned response to similar situations. This is how we learn bodily movements, and although the way we set our posture, walk, move and so forth early on in life are not necessarily the most efficient, we continue to use them throughout our lives as they more-or-less serve their intended purpose.

        To come back to the subject of fearful responses, then our early experiences in this area are to some extent set by evolutionary imperatives as I understand it. It is (or was) often necessary to signal to other animals that we are fearful and subordinate, that we do not seek confrontation – it is a self-preservation mechanism. If as a human animal we assess this approach after having made it automatically (so to speak), we may well then misapply it in all future similar encounters. Here then, we exhibit and experience fear even though the perceived threat is largely imaginary.

      2. Thank you dear friend for putting forward such enlightening arguments to clarify the dark areas of this topic.
        I would say this ‘conditioning’ is done by the people around us, the society and the norms that we are expected to follow. So isn’t fear nurtured as a part of our grooming? Isn’t it a strategy, very often employed by societies to raise a particular kind of individuals? Though modern man is trying to leap out of those tactics but he has to encounter new forms, which unfold themselves as anxieties, depression and failure.

  5. I am trying to calm down my fears and to live with them, accept them. I feel like it’s the only way to not let them take the control in my life.
    Fear is our reaction to something we don’t understand. It’s human. And it’s both good and bad.
    Good cause it asks us to step back and look at it from outside, in order to protect ourselves
    Bad, cause it can stop us and even blind us.

    I think we can tame them with time, faith and practice. But some will keep crawling back to us, saying that we have not yet dealt with some of our biggest issues.

    As a good friend keep saying to me, life is a process. We keep learning…
    Stay well Balroop and thanks for opening your heart to us.

    1. Hi Marie,

      I am so glad to know that you are tackling your fears so well. Yes, the first step is to accept them as real. Once we do so, they can be harnessed very well. You are so right, faith and practice are two time tested weapons, which can be used for most of the fears.

      Thanks for being so understanding!

  6. Hi Balroop,

    Fears can come from many places. I have faced many in my life. The one’s I couldn’t figure out for myself and fix, I did seek help with.

    Sometimes the fear is so deep in the subconscious mind that one really needs to work on it with a trusted coach or individual.

    Most of the time fear jumps up at me, I sit there and figure it out and go on my way anyway! When overcoming fear it is the greatest feeling.


    1. Hi Donna,

      Welcome to my blog, I am greatly honored by a visit from such a great celebrity as you.
      Yes, there are divergent kinds of fears that plague us at all stages of our life but a true fighter and a successful person is the one who can figure them out and handle them at the right time. If we just close our eyes, thinking this too shall pass, fears don’t pass they keep getting entrenched further into the deeper recesses of our mind.

      A person with a strong mind and willpower can vanquish all fears. I have never felt the need for help as our closely knit extended families and friendship circles provide the most loving help and support.
      Thanks for your valuable time and support, I appreciate it immensely.

  7. I like the distinction you draw between fear and anxiety. Sometimes, I feel these two blur as they cross lines, one into the other. Do I believe that either of these two entities hibernate, only to awake hungry and ready to prowl once again? Absolutely. I have seen it happen, time and time again.

    Unlike your courageous stance, I sit on the other side of the outspoken fence. I tend to be quiet and reserved in person. You probably couldn’t tell this from my writing, huh? 🙂 Truth be told, one of the reasons I enjoy writing so much is because I am able to more freely express my true self through words on a page – whether through a personal journal, a non-fiction personal essay, or a fictional short story.

    I am coming to the realization that internalizing these anxieties and fears is not healthy – not for me, or for the people around me. Thanks for sharing your views, Balroop, and for stimulating the neurons in my brain to consider different ways to confront both fears and anxieties with courage and confidence.

    1. Hi Dave,

      I am intrigued at your acceptance of all those emotions…though you also admit that you don’t communicate them but a creative channel is a better way to release locked feelings. Surely it is difficult to believe as your stories speak so eloquently to the readers, connecting so well with all the aspects of a human being! 🙂

      Whenever I tried to dig deeper into the uncommunicative nature of my students, they too accepted that they don’t share their feelings as openly as girls do but they shied from discussing the reasons. probably you can throw more light on this aspect of male nature in one of your stories!?

      Thank you for looking at the fears and anxieties in such a positive light and I agree with you that it is healthier to address them. Stay blessed, dear friend!

  8. How interesting this post is, Balroop. I think it’s fine to have fears but it’s how you deal with them that ultimately propels you forward or holds you back. Therefore, we have the ability to overcome them. Sometimes I fear the unknown future – and then realize I am best to embrace it instead 🙂

    1. Hi Christy,

      I am glad you found this interesting. Fears are a part of life and the sooner we accept this truth, better it is. If we keep denying their existence, we face them half-heartedly. The only way to calm them down is to confront them and yes, as you say, embrace them along with the future.
      Thanks for expressing your view to the conversation, much appreciated.

  9. Hi Balroop – hope you are doing well in 2015. Thank you for sharing your experience with fear and how you deal with them (even in the subconscious plane). I don’t think we can eliminate fear entirely either. I’ve tried to befriend fear, understand fear, work through fear and surrender to fear (when I can’t do anything else:)

    For something that is not true 99.9% of the time, it has such a hold on many of us.

    1. Hi Vishnu,

      How are you? I have been wondering where are you…busy? Wish you a wonderful 2015. Thank you for sharing your view about fear. We all have our own ways to deal with them. I have never thought of befriending them, that would be such an unpleasant and irritating company! 🙂 Surrender? I prefer to stand on other side of the arena – vanquish!

    1. Hi Jeri,

      Fears are deep-rooted, they can affect our growth negatively and some of them get entrenched, leaving deeper scars. Yes, anxieties come and go, they are situation oriented. Both can be controlled but some fears refuse to budge.

  10. Excellent post!~ Really empowering and brave, dear Balroop.
    You say above: “I always had the courage to say whatever I wanted to”…
    That is certainly a virtue you have and I that I hope you never loose! ⭐
    Thanks for sharing. All the very best to you. Aquileana 😀

    1. Hi Aquileana,

      Thanks for the appreciation and kind words. I am so happy to note that you admire being outspoken to be a virtue…very few do!
      Love that star. 🙂 Thanks.

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