Why Arrogant People Don’t Have Friends…


This is my third post on Arrogance, which is inspired from organic traffic.

This word – ‘Arrogance’ is detested by all due to the negative energy it carries but we all like to know more about its aspects and dimensions. Have you read how it can harm our personality?

Arrogance leads you into a self-created glittering world, making you the protagonist of those realms and the throne that feeds your ego is placed at a higher pedestal. It is very difficult to look at others with compassion and love when you gaze from that exalted throne.

Self-love dominates your thoughts and all those around you appear to be your friends and admirers.

Arrogance dwells in such a shallow zone where relationships do not hold any relevance. So friendship and arrogance can never move hand in hand.

Self-importance guides arrogance:

You have to step down from that platform of superciliousness to befriend people but your haughty nature doesn’t let you step down. You think you have a lot of friends and indeed you can see yourself surrounded by many people.

Admirers can never be your true friends. They would surround you till you entertain them, party with them and let your money flow freely for their benefit.

Arrogance detests emotions:

The only emotions that seem to be of any importance to arrogant persons are those, which concern them. If they have been snubbed at some stage of life, they carry that pain in their heart forever. If they have not been treated justly, they would call the whole humanity unjust. When they hide their true emotions from their friends, the latter can understand their demeanor.

Arrogance doesn’t trust anybody:Arrogance quote

Trust is the main plank of true friendship but arrogant people are always on their guard. Their relationships remain superficial. They fail to open their heart to their friends and therefore their friendship never crosses that line of mutual trust. Those who try to be friendly with such people often discover this trait and walk off, feeling cheated.

Nobody likes to be judged and controlled:

Arrogance is that intoxication, which never lets you come to your senses. Those who acquire this trait think highly of themselves and try to judge even their friends. They manipulate them in various ways, which is always disliked. How long can any friend bear such a behavior?

Arrogance mocks at humility:

Such people consider humility to be a weakness. They look down upon benevolent and humble friends, which exposes their own hollowness. Virtues are very hard to maintain and therefore all those who try to endure the behavior of arrogant persons give up out of disappointment.

Arrogance thrives on dominance:

Would you like your friend to control your thoughts, influence you into doing something you may not be comfortable with? Arrogant people are compulsive rulers. They want to govern your feelings, your time and even your likes. They take pleasure in planning for all the people around them.

Do you have arrogant friends? Do you like their company? I would love to hear your views.

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Thank you for your support. Please add your valuable comments, they are much appreciated.

Balroop Singh.

Image adapted from: http://windydy.deviantart.com 





24 thoughts on “Why Arrogant People Don’t Have Friends…

  1. Argh, my computer flipped out right in the middle of me typing a comment. I said I loved the part you wrote about their superficial relationships, Balroop. I’ve had more than my fair share of experiences with arrogant people I often wonder if they ever look at themselves in the mirror? I guess the answer is likely not because they don’t feel a need to. I just have no time or energy to spend around these type of people. Another fantastic post as always, my friend! 🙂

    1. Hi Mike,

      You are right, it is futile to devote any time to the whims and fancies of such people because they don’t acknowledge it and eventually make us look like a sentimental fool, having wasted our time in honoring their wishes. I am glad you don’t have any sympathy for such people as they don’t know this word.

      Thanks for sharing your perspective, greatly appreciated.

  2. “Arrogance dwells in such a shallow zone where relationships do not hold any relevance. So friendship and arrogance can never move hand in hand.” -I agree with this. I suppose the reason I have a select group of people I call friends is because I don’t enjoy dwelling in superficial relationships.
    My husband and I had a conversation on Saturday as we were headed to a venue about arrogant people. Usually, at functions like these we meet all kinds of people. While I’m not entirely social I do enjoy people but as I mentioned to him I have little tolerance for the company of arrogance. I don’t know whether it is the “know it all” attitude that annoys me or if it’s the fact I enjoy “engaging” in conversation rather than being patronized.

    1. Oh Suzi! we seem to be so alike. I too have a few friends for precisely the same reason. For me, a relationship has to be true and honest whether it is with a friend, a relative or a sibling.

      There are two kinds of arrogant people – the ones who brag without realising their true worth and those who consider themselves to be the best, the supercilious. Both are difficult to be with. I usually walk away from them, the moment I recognise them.

  3. I too like that sentence — “Arrogance dwells in such a shallow zone where relationships do not hold any relevance. So friendship and arrogance can never move hand in hand.”

    Very important ideas Balroop. Thank you!

  4. Great topic, Balroop. I recognize some family members in this post. I also had a friend that in the beginning was a wonderful friendship. As time went on, if I couldn’t do things with her when she wanted (attend her parties or her daughter’s friends parties :P) she would really resent it. No matter what reason I had for being unable to go. The friendship went sour. It’s too bad b/c she had some wonderful qualities but the ugly arrogance took over. Very insightful post!

    1. Oh yes Lisa! Even I have some…such family members eat out of your hands and turn their face the other way! Such persons are very demanding and they have their own wishes and their own ways. The moment you seek their help or you happen to be in distress, they vanish.

      Thanks for sharing your side of the story.

  5. The diseases of conceit and arrogance run rife in Western culture and society it seems Balroop. They go hand-in-hand with the reification of individuality and are propagated in the mainstream media and consumerist culture alike. We are encouraged to assert our individuality, to express our own uniqueness, and whilst on one level those are acceptable enough aspirations, what often happens is that the whole becomes subsumed within an over-weaning self-importance in which ‘I know best’.

  6. Hi Hariod,

    I always thought western culture is more refined but as I grew up and read more, I realised that all people all around the globe are the same, with the same basic demeanor, which is sometimes camouflaged to appear cultured and distinctive.

    Literature is a very authentic source of human attributes and my first introduction to this so called ‘virtue’ of arrogance was through that classic – ‘Pride and Prejudice’. I have met many such characters in real life and many of them much more blasé.

    Thanks dear friend, for your insight, which is always valued.

  7. Hi Balroop,

    Wonderful post, yet again 🙂

    Oh yes…I think all of us would have arrogant people in our lives, whether they are family or friends. I guess one just learns to deal with them and move on. I know it’s not easy, but when they are your known ones, you can’t even ignore them – take them in your stride and once you know at the back of your mind the kind of people they are, the rest becomes easy.

    Thanks for sharing. Have a nice, rest of the week 🙂

    1. Hi Harleena,

      You make me smile with your observation…you seem to have looked the other way and pass by such people or you are well-versed with dealing with them! Both ways are good to keep yourself at peace. When I was quite young, I came across a colleague who would say, quite often…’I apologise most humbly’…and I would look aghast and wonder how could a person be so cool!! Now I think that is a good way to show attitude to the ones who think highly of themselves.

      Thanks for sharing your view. Stay blessed and have a nice week.

  8. Arrogance as you say, Balroop, detests emotions. NOt only is arrogance cut away from other people’s emotions but also the arrogant person’s emotions. While arrogant people may feel that others lose out when they don’t have a relationship with the arrogant person, it’s in fact the arrogant person who loses out in friendships, relationships and more. I don’t have too many arrogant people in my life but I did used to work in politics and before that law lol so do know my fair share of people with this characteristic:)

    1. Hi Vishnu,

      I guess arrogant persons don’t care about emotions and relationships or they pretend callousness. They feign nothing bothers them but the insecurity, which eats into the vitals of their heart and mind makes them react in this manner.

      I am glad you have moved away from both the professions, which are a quagmire of such people. Stay blessed, dear friend. Thanks for standing by and contributing your thoughts to this discussion.

  9. Clear analysis, Balroop, of a commonly experienced human trait. Much as we would like it to be, arrogant people cannot be wished away and, therefore, we have to deal with them at some or various stages in our lives. We cannot change them and they exist in all nationalities as part of human nature mix. The only viable recourse is to limit our interactions with them to as minimal level as possible and move on. On a philosophical note, I would like to believe that arrogance exists in this world because the Cosmic power deemed it necessary for human beings to perforce encounter it to refine sensibilities and hone capabilities. There is no escape from this plight as lesser arrogance brushes with greater arrogance and nil arrogance communicates with moderate arrogance in the ongoing business of life…best wishes… Raj.

    1. Thank you Raj, for liking this analysis. I hope you have also gone through the other two posts on the same topic, which define and elaborate arrogance much more.

      You are right, we cannot change anybody especially such persons who befriend ego and conceit but we can learn a lot from their demeanor. They exemplify how belitting others affects relationships and therefore convey life lessons to emulate.

      Thank you dear friend for adding so much value to this post by sharing your philosophical thoughts, which define arrogance so well.

  10. Excellent post dear Balroop… I much agree with you…. I think that self-centered people just think of themselves and fail when it comes to make friends or when it has to be with longing relationships… They are always “I” this just can’t give anything. Besides they might think that you are against them when you show them that you care about they… You just Bother them… Self-importance guides arrogance, that’s absolutely true… A great reading… Truly ready-witted and i thank you for sharing it. All my best wishes. Aquileana 😀

    1. Hi Aquileana,

      Thank you for liking this post and endorsing my view that arrogance is guided by self-importance. You are right, “I” is so supreme in their minds and behavior that they can’t see beyond their own thoughts, likings and desires. Obviously such people can’t be good friends.

      Thanks for contributing your insight to this discussion, it is greatly valued.

  11. Really a great post ~ of all the reasons, one that really stuck out is “Arrogance mocks at humility” and I think that is all the result of insecurity and fear. Well written article Balroop ~

  12. This post resonated with me. I gave up a few different friends when I turned 50, after reading that you have to put up with family but friends you should choose to nourish, sustain and lead you into good choices and support you, too. I feel arrogance is not a good characteristic, even if the person has money, tries to be giving if they hold it over your head, then they are not a true friend.I liked all the reasons you gave, too, Balroop.

    1. Hi Robin,

      Thanks for liking this post, which has negative undertones. But I accept both emotions equally as we learn a lot from negative emotions.
      I too had to abandon some friends who have been arrogant and unreasonable. Yes, you can’t give up family but I have restricted myself from meeting such members as frequently as I did earlier to keep my peace of mind. Thanks for sharing your perspective, dear friend 🙂

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