Forgiveness is the most intransigent emotion, the most hurting feeling, rekindling the sensation of being victimized, highlighting the supremacy and the arrogance of our perpetrator who might be exulting at our weakness.
Yes, weakness. Those who hurt intentionally play with our emotions.
I know it is extremely difficult to forgive.
I have always reiterated to myself… ‘I will never forgive.’
- Can we forgive those who bully just for their sadistic pleasure or to reinforce their authority?
- Can we forgive those hypocrites who lie, cheat and continue to take advantage of our goodness?
- Is it possible to forgive a person who has grievously hurt you financially as well as emotionally?
- Is it possible to heal the emotional wounds that lacerate when you come across the person who caused them?
Yes! Those may be the first thoughts that trouble us when we think of this word or when we contemplate forgiveness.
Retribution seems to be such a sweet and gratifying way to deal with our wounds.
Yet these are just purgatory moments, driving us out of the ‘prison’ that we choose ourselves.
“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” ~Lewis B. Smedes
Why have I reconciled with this emotion, which was just a useless word for me:
- I became more aware of its goodness.
- I have matured and mellowed down.
- I could no longer carry the resentment.
- I realized the need to release negative emotions.
- The path I have chosen leads me to finer feelings.
Forgiveness sets us free:
It releases us from the clutches of all those emotions, which have been causing bitterness, breeding negative thoughts. It emancipates us from the compulsion of detesting the person who has wronged us or continues to do so. It shows us a new light, opens all those windows of communication, which we tend to slam shut by refusing to interact.
Forgiveness keeps us emotionally healthy:
Emotional well-being is as important as physical and mental health. When we forgive, our emotions evolve and reveal the futility of carrying the baggage of anger, antipathy, hostility and hatred. We emerge out of those dark corridors of fear, angst and insecurity. Forgiveness acts like a tranquilizer; it soothes the mind and calms us down. It introduces us to kindness.
Forgiveness saves relationships:
Many relationships can be saved if we are large hearted enough to let go the disappointments and hurts. I am not advocating forgiveness just for the sake of the other person. It is a well-known fact that we need to forgive for our own self, for our own peace of mind and for leaving a door ajar to welcome those who feel connected and want to keep the relationship alive.
There is no doubt that healing process is very slow, much slower than open wounds because emotional sores keep festering each time an unpleasant memory flashes before us but forgiveness gives us the power to snap off the ties, without even saying a word. We need not convey to our tormentor that we have forgiven him/her. We can just ease off our burden by saying to ourselves: ‘I have forgiven’. Keep repeating these words slowly whenever you visualize the persecutor in your mind’s eye.
Forgiveness boosts self-esteem:
The moment we forgive, we feel confident and powerful. It develops and validates our goodness and compassion. It reassures us that we can disconnect from unpleasant past happenings. Yes, we cannot bury them but what is the need for that?
I know we have to make special efforts. It does mean that we have condoned the person who does not deserve to be forgiven. It does not mean the humiliation and the hurt he/she hurled at us gets diluted.
It just means we have been hugged by ‘Divine Love’ as my dearest friend Zeenat has lovingly advised.
Have you felt the power of forgiveness? Do you nurture it?
If you have liked this article, please share it at your favorite social networks.
Have you subscribed to my posts? You can do so just now by clicking on ‘follow.’
Thank you for your support. Please add your valuable comments, they are much appreciated.