Why People Get Disliked?

Dislike

This question that I ask myself often may be having a thousand answers but none of them appeals to me. That doesn’t mean I have not disliked people. In fact my likes and dislikes have been quite strong and firm.

I have written about people and their demeanor earlier also. I have tried to study the behavior of people around me, without really making any judgment albeit they think the opposite.

I have also tried to understand what being judgmental is.

Isn’t it human tendency to observe, to think and to form an opinion? That is just what I have been trying to do.

If forming an opinion is being judgmental, then I am!

I know many people who must have disliked me. All those who exhibited it openly gained my appreciation. I consider my critics to be my well-wishers. I have learnt a lot from their dislike.

If you have never given a thought to getting disliked, then you are welcome to scrutinize the following reasons:

Candor:

We don’t share our view candidly because we know that candor is the root cause of getting disliked. So what if it makes us hypocritical!! Isn’t it an accepted behavior? I have always disliked shrouding…especially feelings and emotions. I discovered quite later in life that truth and transparency are expected but exploited and disliked. It is so self-harming that our honest and straightforward outlook can be easily manipulated to let us down.

Silence:

So is silence. Those who choose silence and consider it ‘to be golden’ offend others unknowingly. Silence is a mute weapon, which is much sharper than words. Lack of communication breeds dislike as it gives an impetus to imaginative thoughts. Bias or pre-conceived notions become the basis of forming opinions. It is therefore imperative to share our perspective on all those situations, which concern us and can harm relationships.

Arrogance:

It directly leads us to dislike because it is very difficult to have a pleasant interaction with arrogant persons who have the tendency of dwelling in self obsessed realms of exalted nature. Would you like being called inexperienced, ignorant and imprudent? Would you like to be intimidated and bullied into whatever they want? I am sure anybody who challenges our self-esteem gets disliked.

Body language:Dislike quote

Certain kinds of body language can be very offensive. People who don’t want to say anything directly convey their words through this language and get disliked. Eyes can convey dissent much louder than words. A smirk can speak volumes about what goes on in your heart. Just your posture of standing and looking can belittle others.

Disrespect:

Respect is the foundation of all relationships. You may get disliked despite your best efforts to nurture a friendship if there is lack of respect. Respect and like are two pals, which move hand in hand. When somebody constantly puts you down, when your positive actions are misinterpreted and ignored, it is a clear sign of dislike.

Pretensions:

A fake behavior is like a double-edged sword. It can work both ways, harming the pretender as well as the person who dislikes such charades. When we pretend to be kind and considerate, when we put up a mask of friendship to betray and when we lie to keep up the appearances, we eventually get disliked. Nobody around us is such a big fool not to see through those shams.

Bragging:

It may not harm anybody but too much of self-praise often puts us off. I had such a colleague who would brag about all her achievements loudly, forgetting that many of those were very evidently the result of team-work but she would go on and on, gloating in self-perpetuated glory, failing to notice the meaningful smiles on the faces of others.

Dislike in itself is the biggest monster, which strikes emotionally imbalanced individuals. Most of the times they don’t know how to handle their anger and angst and therefore their frustrations overpower them. Since it is so easy to shift the blame, their illusionary world of dislike widens.

“I don’t dislike my haters, they dislike me. I’m doing nothing wrong. I’m just being me.” – Jaime Lopez

It is better to convey dislike in clear words to convert it into a healthier emotion. It may hurt us for a moment but it also helps us in understanding and working on our imperfections.

Have you been disliked by others? Do you have any other reasons of dislike in mind? I would love to hear your views.

If you have liked this article, please share it at your favorite social networks.

Thank you for your support. Please add your valuable comments, they are much appreciated.

Balroop Singh

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24 thoughts on “Why People Get Disliked?

  1. Hi Balroop,

    Agree with you entirely 🙂

    There are all kinds of people in this world, but I wonder if we should really bother about those who dislike us? No, haven’t been disliked as I don’t know about it as of now- but nor do I dislike anyone, though jealousy is something that is different from dislike, and that can come in from a lot of people.

    Yes, if we are arrogant or not likable or any of the points you mentioned above, it’s still alright. But if we are not, I don’t think we should be concerned.

    I liked the points you mentioned, body language, especially the eyes can say a lot. Even the disrespect, pretension, and bragging – all of these are reasons enough, and would keep us away from liking people too. Braggers and the ones who put on a fake mask – tough to stand them, and you can make out such people in a jiffy!

    Thanks for sharing. Have a nice week ahead 🙂

    1. Hi Harleena,

      We may say that we need not bother but deep within we have that feeling of why…why that dislike when we haven’t done anything to deserve it. Eventually we may convince ourselves and put those dislikes behind us but they do bother us.

      I am so glad to know that you have not been disliked! That is a wonderful achievement. How do you manage it?!
      Thanks for sharing your view, much appreciated.

  2. Another interesting piece from you, Balroop. I used to work in academic research for a while, and my role as an interviewer for research studies was to interview people face-to-face and observe their body language. I noticed that those who sounded agitated or nervous when they were speaking always put their hand on their necks…

    Certainly not every single person in this world will like us. Maybe some people dislike us because they don’t understand our way of doing things. For example, I’m generally quiet and it’s partly due to the fact that my parents raised me to listen to others. Quite a few people whom I’ve met have thought I was haughty, being silent – and they tended to be of another race from me. When we’re disliked, best we don’t take offence – as you inferred towards the end – as then the other person might pick up this hostile feeling within us and resent us even more.

    1. Hi Mabel,

      I agree with you, body language can say a lot if we possess the observation and the inclination to study it. I like your way of saying it in such a logical manner… ‘they don’t understand our way of doing things.’…most of the times dislike originates from lack of understanding people. How easily do they draw out the conclusions about others being quiet or hostile, without really trying to comprehend the reasons.

      I guess it is human tendency to apply the same yardstick to everybody whereas all individuals are different, with their own unique identity. Yes, we must train our mind to tune off in such cases of dislike.

      Thank you for a very logical perspective, dear friend. Stay blessed!

  3. Balroop,

    for me, the “Disrespect” is a HUGE factor in not being “Liked.”

    If I am being disrespected, I will usually not want that person as a friend, or even an acquaintance.

    No excuses for disrespect.

    xxx

    1. Yes Kim, disrespect challenges our self-esteem and can never be tolerated. I agree with you completely. Thanks for the reminder with emphasis on RESPECT!
      Stay blessed!

  4. It is tough for anyone, I think, being disliked. We want to be accepted and loved at our cores as humans. I have struggled with people who don’t like me but I try to focus instead on those who do like having me in their lives ❤ Thank you for your thoughtful post here, Balroop.

    1. Thank you Christy, for endorsing the need of being liked but we can’t claim it as our right. However, we can nurture such values and behavior, which evokes likes and if we get disliked despite all the positive values we carry in our heart, we would be having the benevolence to forgive all those who fail to understand us.

  5. This is a deep thinking post, Balroop. We want to be liked by all but as we mature we realize this is impossible. Also, it isn’t fun when we have to conform or give up something of our self identity to make someone accept or like us. So, I’ve learned to accept that I won’t be liked by everyone. In fact, sometimes I will be disliked by many. Many of those qualities you mention can put me off someone too. I may not know them well but if I sense through their body language their distaste for me, I’ll move on. Interesting discussion here at emotional shadows!

    1. Hi Lisa,

      Acceptance is the key…no wonder you are such a happy go lucky person… despite so many ups and downs that we face in life, if we learn to accept harsh facts of life, it becomes much easy.
      Do you abandon such persons or you make an effort to be more nice to get liked?

  6. A great post, dear friend Balroop! ….. The points you have highlighted above are crucial I´d say…For me Disrespect and arrogance are reasons that usually lead me to dislike certain persons… Anyhow; I am quite tolerant and still try to focus on virtues instead of flaws… If I dislike someone it is probably because his-her flaws are stronger than the good qualities…. Thanks for sharing! All my best wishes, Aquileana 😀

    1. Hi Aquileana,

      I too like to be tolerant but it takes a lot of time and with the passage of time, we do develop that forbearance, which is required to overlook the imperfections. it is a good habit to focus on the virtues…that is how we learn more and get resilient.
      Thanks for your insights dear friend. Best wishes to you also.

  7. I think when people have disliked me most often in the past it’s because I can come off as a know-it-all at times. I try to curb that tendency, but then I wonder if I should. I guess I’ve just gotten better at trying to hear another person’s side before I squash their logic… haha. I value candor so much, and it bugs me to no end with those I interact with the most have issues with it.

    1. I have placed candour at no. one because I too esteem it in any conversation or relationship but I have noticed that people evade the real issues, pretending to uphold the values they themselves lack, having double standards…expecting rather than giving!
      Thanks for sharing an honest opinion!

  8. Cocksure know-it-alls too are disliked. Ought I to add ‘successful’ people to the list? Envy plays a major part in it alongwith a ‘what on earth did he/she do to deserve it’.

  9. I try to stay positive and give people the ‘benefit of the doubt.’ I believe you are like me, in this quality. I hope to never be on anyone’s bad side but I am outspoken and sometimes ‘ruffle feathers!’ Smiles to you, Balroop.

    1. Hi Robin,
      Positivity solves almost all the problems and if we refuse to be influenced by negative people around us, if we accept the fact that there are all kinds of people and we have to move ahead despite them, we can eliminate negative thoughts easily. 🙂 🙂 Thanks for sharing your view.

      1. I like how you put this, Balroop. By staying positive we do move ahead, while we may leave them standing far behind in our thoughts and memories. I like your saying in your article, you respect those who express their thoughts and what you learn about them, this is important to know the lessons learned also. Thanks for this deep post which got me thinking!

      2. Yes, those who express themselves honestly can be understood better whereas silent observers leave much to speculation, which can prove to be disastrous for both. Prejudices start breeding when we lack the skills of communication. This too can lead us to dislike.

  10. All of your points are well thought out and true. I would like to think I possess all of the good qualities & none of the negatives. However, as a human, I know I am perfectly imperfect.
    I also know that I can love, never mind like alone, someone who has negative quality along with many positives.
    I like that you say “I consider my critics to be my well-wishers.” Here-in lies the ability to like people, even with flaws… mine & theirs.

    1. True Resa, we wish we could possess all those likeable qualities…Alas! we are born with those emotions and feelings, which define us and we keep battling with them to become better.
      Some persons are likeable despite their negative traits but some possess those detestable vibes, which can be picked up easily.
      Thanks for adding so much value to this post with your insight. Stay blessed!

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