What If Some Experiences Are Not Positive?

Positive thoughts

Is life so simple? Can we control our experiences?

I stumbled upon the above quote and got a lot of positive energy from it but a thought immediately crossed my mind…what if some experiences are not positive? What if positive feelings are not reciprocated?

All people are not alike. There may be such persons in your life who are always trying to find some reason to irritate you and spread unpleasantness.

Some of them are around us all the time, in the form of our family members or colleagues.

Have you ever given a thought that negative experiences leave a deep impact on us? It is very difficult to forget them whereas positive people just pass by and are easily overlooked or taken for granted.

Life does not remain positive at all times. It is at such a challenging and grim time that positive thoughts lose their track.

This mind is so strange. It also gets distracted from its positive path.

What drives negativity? Why is it so easy to jump into this messy pool?

People! Some people are selfish. They have their own designs; their ulterior motives can never be understood. Some are arrogant, they disseminate negative vibes; they always try to put you down. Some have narcissistic traits; their presence in your life can be quite detrimental. Some are manipulative; they try to exploit your goodness.

I know many such people.

People are like an ocean! Understanding them is like diving into an ocean.

Some deep, some so shallow!

Some never come to the shore some never leave it.

If you are fortunate, you might find a pearl!

Human behavior is quite intriguing, oscillating between darkness and light.

The values, emotions and the virtues are ingrained in human soul but at the same time the vices that ensnare us can easily sway our integrity. Hurts can lead us astray.

Lack of guidance, injustice and disappointments bring out the worst behavior.

Teasing, bullying, violence, intolerance, wreaking vengeance and driving others to take the extreme step of committing suicide in modern societies seems to be an addition to human behavior.

A new negativity? However, it is possible that it lurked there in some other unfamiliar form.

Human behavior has chiefly been influenced by society, culture, region and religion, which has strengthened with time. There have hardly been any significant changes in the core values and ethics that have guided it.

Fear and insecurity may bring some changes in human behavior but only for a short period of time.

Despair and disillusionments follow us everywhere. They also change our behavior. How do we react?

Hope

Disappointments often intimidate us but if we keep talking to the hopeful aspect of our mind, if we refuse to let our mind be clogged with the fear of failures, if we embrace the tenacity of our positive spirit, we can strengthen this sentiment and pass it on to our children who exemplify true hope.

Have you ever felt the power of positive spirit?

If disenchantments follow you, learn to cultivate hope, which is an inborn virtue. It lies dormant if it is not nurtured.

Observe a child carefully and you will see an amazing amount of resilience and hope for achieving even the unattainable. A child may fall or fail but the efforts to learn new things never wane. It is the inherent quality of hope and happiness, which keeps children going robustly towards their goal.

As their little feet start growing, hope grows within them. Each step they take, each game they play, this hope becomes sounder.

No child ever thinks of losing. Cynicism is unknown to them. Little failures may dishearten them for a while but they start again with renewed efforts. It is the hope that carries them forward to catch happiness.

Hope fills enthusiasm in their efforts. They look forward to their parents for encouragement and reassurance to accomplish their little goals. When they see happiness on their faces, their spirit soars further. Hence a positive approach and support nurtures hope and happiness.

Hope and happiness are so interconnected!

It is the hope of being successful which leads us to it and happiness follows effortlessly. While conscious efforts are required for all that we hope to accomplish, happiness just meets us on the way to success.

I have had many such experiences, which have shaken my positive spirit but I have always bounced back by convincing myself that this is just a passing phase, by reminding myself that all people are not positive.

What are your reflections about meeting positive people? What impact have they made on you?

If you have liked this article, please share it at your favorite social networks.

Thank you for your support. Please add your valuable comments, they are much appreciated.

Balroop Singh.

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24 thoughts on “What If Some Experiences Are Not Positive?

  1. A very practical post Balroop. We can not always expect to have positive experiences in our lives. Some experiences do leave us bitter and with a negative afterthought, as do some people.
    All we can do is to nurture and cultivate traits such as resilience, will power, self belief and faith so that we are not severely perturbed by such negative experiences and are able to overcome them.
    Incidentally, I have conveyed similar thoughts on the haiku on Balancing Rocks, I was referring to these negative experiences that pull us down as the slippery slope, and the bedrock on which the boulder is perched as the traits that help us to hang on.
    Cheers to the match in the frequency of our thoughts. 🙂

    1. Hi Somali,

      Thank you for finding this post practical! When we try to make positivity a way of life, all setbacks can be faced with the hope that they are learning experiences.
      Yes, nurturing self-faith and fortitude really helps and negative experiences cease to be the stumbling stones.
      There is no doubt that your thoughts on boulders, which are resting precariously symbolise hope and positive attitude towards delusive and perilous people and experiences!
      Thank you for sharing your perspective and adding so much value to this post.

  2. Lovely post, Balroop. Hope and compassion see us through the rough spots. I also like to remember that each “negative” encounter is an opportunity to learn and make choices. It’s a step on the path that has brought me to where I am now and will take me where I am going. 🙂

    1. Thank you Diana, it is such a pleasure to know that you have sailed through rough times with hope and compassion. 🙂
      Negative thoughts often try to overpower us during such times and if we step away from the company of negative people, half the battle is won. Positive energy can be actually felt when we think of its presence.

  3. Hi Balroop, positive people are memorable to me. They’re the ones that stop and say hello and tell you they’re on your side. I hope I am positive to others for I know how much the negative can bring me down. I’ve dealt with so many negative people in my life and one of the changes I made post divorce was to let those ones go. With that I hoped to let more positive people into my life. It worked!! Very interesting analysis here, Balroop. Well done and thought provoking.

    1. Hi Lisa,

      I love positive people and I have found many more such friends online. They are like sunshine, like smiling flowers, always giving!

      You are surely one of them Lisa, never ever doubt that. Each word you write radiates with positivity and if we have such a bent of mind, no amount of negative energy can ever touch us! Even if it does, it gets boomeranged towards the one who is trying to send those vibes.

      Thank you for being such a beautiful support. Love you for your positivity and brilliance.

  4. All of us don’t share equal wavelengths and point of view. We have different experiences and meet so many people in our journey of life. Positivity and like-minded people do have greater effects on us. On the other hand, we can’t escape the group with a negative mindset. We have to prepare and shape our mind to resist them…I think.. 🙂

    Wonderfully described in the post…:-)

    1. Hi Mani,

      Our experiences may be different but they center around the same wavelengths…some at the lower curve and some at the higher. I try to keep it higher by self confabulation, which is a great asset.

      I didn’t learn it in a day or a year, it took me many years to realise self-help is the best kind of help and if we keep assuring ourselves that all is well…it surely does one day.

      Thank you for such kind words, I appreciate them greatly 🙂

    1. Thank you Kim. You are yourself bubbling with positivity, even when you write out of grief, that streak of positive light is always shimmering through your words.
      Thank you for being such a wonderful friend.

  5. Positive people have a fabulous impact on our lives Balroop. They make everything possible.
    I met a lot since I started blogging. Positive people make you matter, make your life matter. And you love being around them cause they have many things to share.
    Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. Your positvity is precious Balroop.

    1. Thanks Marie. Positive people make you see the brighter aspect, they infuse a new hope into our discussions and can even give a better direction to our life. I have learnt to trust myself from them.
      Thanks for such kind words for my endeavors to remain positive.

  6. One major difference between my wife and me is how we have dealt with unpleasant experiences that occurred early in our lives, or at least how we view them as adults. I have always been able to recall pleasant experiences, from as far back as age two or three. However, when asked to recall unpleasant experiences – even ones as recent as a year or two in the past – I struggle to remember them. I believe I have made an unconscious decision NOT to remember unpleasantries, because of the negativity connected to them. I don’t believe any good is served by hanging on to bad experiences.
    On the other hand, maintaining memories about positive experiences, I feel, engenders positive behavior, moving forward in our lives. (This does not mean, however, that I have no memories of those bad experiences, only that I surprise them).
    Case in point: 9/11. I will NEVER forget that horrible day, but neither do I permit myself to dwell upon that negativity, each anniversary of the event.
    I always enjoyed listening to the radio and television broadcasts of the sermons of the late Dr. Norman Vincent Peale, the author of The Power of Positive Thinking. I think his words had a greater impact upon me than I realized at the time.

      1. Hi Joe,

        It is a blessing to have such a perfect memory as yours!…the inability to recall unpleasant experiences varies with their kind and effect. When an experience is life changing, when we happen to meet toxic and manipulative people…such incidents get embedded in our minds. We may live under the delusion that we have forgotten them, as we keep trying to brush them aside but they keep returning in dreams or in those moments, which have a faint connection with those people.

        You are right Joe, pleasant experiences become ‘a bliss of solitude’. The more we chew the negative thoughts, it becomes easier to digest them. 9/11 kind of scenarios keep repeating themselves on personal basis in the lives of many people around the globe. The only difference is that it affected a lot of people together.

        Thanks for sharing your perspective, much appreciated.

  7. Life is a mix of all things, all kinds of events and characters, Balroop. The negative is always present to strengthen us, serving the purpose of steeling us for the next progressive stage in life, where we meet with positivity in the form of success and happy people. I have had some very negative events and devious people in my life, where I felt almost down and out when I was in the thick and throng of it. In retrospect, I have realised those were really turning points in disguise, although at that point of time the people and events were very much in the manner it occurred to Winston Churchill when he lost the elections after the war. To someone who tried to console him saying his electoral loss could be a blessing in disguise, Churchill responded cryptically stating ‘well at the moment, it looks well disguised’…best wishes.

  8. I have read your post dear Balroop with most interest.. And yes I give much thought now to the negative and positive of this world and its influences..

    I read Raj’s comment about Churchill, and agree we seldom see the blessings in disguise when we experience some upheaval or setback in life.
    Yet it has also been my experience in looking back now with hindsight that those negative experiences were perhaps needed to bring me along to my now Positive path..
    I loved your connecting how children respond.. And how quickly they bounce back.. Mainly because they live in the Now moments, and do not look back holding the grudges we adults tend to focus upon.

    We all of us respond to encouragement instead of criticism, yet sometimes constructive criticism allows us to focus upon our reflection.. We are not always aware of what we project out..

    The World at large is a mirror and we are now beginning to see what we project out into the world is being reflected back..

    Great reflections! Here Balroop ❤ xxx

    Love and Light xx

    1. Hi Sue,

      True, we can’t foresee the positive aspect when we are in a disillusioned state of mind. Blessings are often offered in disguise but we are only human…we fail to understand their significance!

      I had heard ‘all happens for good’ but it took me a long time to accept the truth of this dictum. Like natural calamities tell us how much we have, like darkness teaches us how important is the light, so do negative experiences.

      Thanks for adding so much value to this post by sharing your perspective.

  9. I really liked this post about understanding not all things are going to be positive and we cannot always have a positive “spin” on everything. It is hard when some people have many challenges to see any hope or positive outlook from these tragedies. Instead of just saying they will help you to enjoy better days, maybe letting go is the only way to move forward in life.
    I also am one who cherishes simple things in life, flowers, skies, beauty in so much of what is in nature. I also have lost a lot in my life, so I give up my firm grasp on material things and try to find special moments. Taking life day by day, also is helpful.
    Balroop, you are so clear in your writing and I felt very blessed in reading these words today, thank you!

    1. Hi Robin,

      Thank you for liking this post, I am glad that it resonated with you. I agree with you that it is very hard to deal with difficult situations and hope to find some positive energy at such times. But we have no choice dear friend. We arrive at this conclusion after grieving and feeling low for many many days.

      I am so sorry about your loss…it is very distressing but only after losing what we love the most do we start appreciating what is left. Yes, those few moments, which pass by if we don’t notice them. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, much appreciated. Stay blessed!

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