Pangs Of Change

Relationships never endRelationships
They take a new turn,
They move on…
Each relationship suffers
The pangs of inadvertent change

Change we all like yet distrust
A change initiated by us,
By our own loved ones
For those who grow dearer…
Forgetting former bonds

New perspectives, newer attitudes
Lead to shrinking of close ties
A slice of life drifts away
When they try to hide
What their voices betray

A heart-wrenching abyss of estrangement
Forms unintentionally
Long nurtured ties weaken
As people around you seem to change
Confused, you too may falter!

The hypocrisy of endearing words
Becomes hard to swallow
When the true emotions have melted
A look of disbelief, lingers
A stoic acceptance, the only choice!

Ah! the amiable attribute of acceptance
It calms all the emotions and keeps us grounded!

© Balroop Singh.

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38 thoughts on “Pangs Of Change

  1. Sorry for the delayed visit, have been travelling couple of week I just couldn’t manage to connect…
    So true, relationships never ends, it just takes a new turn and finds new ways to explore so many new aspects of life. The word “acceptance” is so profound and we rarely accept things in life, all challenges come when resist things in life, it keeps persisting and we get upset and keep getting irritated.
    Indeed, change is something we all like to resist but we also know that change is what brings new perspectives that makes our living a better and gives a new meaning to our life…

    Wonderfully written, top it it all the title “pangs of change”, takes the cake away…very refreshing to engage with such lovely thoughts.

    1. Hi Nihar,

      There is no need to apologise, I know friends like you would always be there.
      Some aspects of relationships reveal themselves at a later stage. The siblings who grow together, are inseparable till a particular age, slowly start drifting away as they find new engagements. Others who come into their life become dearer. Isn’t it strange?

      Our own children become more important, that is why change seems so hurtful in relationships. The pangs is a very apt word as we often keep the pain to ourselves, even try to deny that any such thing is possible.

      Thanks for sharing your insights and words of appreciation. Stay blessed!

      1. I understand but it is important on my part to communicate and keep things informed. Yes, so much withing blood relationship when we stay away and far, we forget the meaning of real relationships, things changes with time and not just about friendship but very true with close relationships also…the choice of word “pang” is indeed an apt word. Nothing beyond a point is under our control…realization takes time and with time everything changes…it was a profound thought and it kept me on thought provoking state.
        You too and always a pleasure sharing such brilliants ideas on life and philosophy.

      2. Thank you for being such a caring friend Nihar. Persons like you add a lot of charm and zest to life. Thanks for liking the word ‘pang’, I felt it most apt because pangs are uncontrollable, there is no role of a person who gets it suddenly and they subside slowly, on their own. 🙂

      3. It is my pleasure and always cherish such beautiful discussion that we have and that keeps me thinking and I keep learning so many new facets about life, living and working.
        Have a lovely day ahead…

    1. Hi Somali,

      It is acceptance, which helps us move forward but before that pangs have to be borne silently and these spasms make us wiser and resilient to face reality.

      Thanks for standing by and sharing your view, much appreciated.

  2. Change and acceptance, though different, must occur one after the other. Not all changes are good, and the seemingly bad ones come with considerable pain. Good or bad, change must be accepted with equanimity, Balroop, as the force that takes life forward to the next level. The poem, together with the link to ‘acceptance’, explores the subject in its many dimensions…best wishes.

    1. Hi Raj,

      Change comes uninvited while acceptance is a well thought out, self-imposed demeanor, which has to be nurtured to remain emotionally balanced. I agree with you Raj, change has to be accepted but it is easier said than done! It takes one whole life to learn what we take a moment to write.

      I am glad you found the link to my earlier post interesting. Thanks for sharing your perspective.

  3. I notice the waxing and waning cycles in all relationships, some moving in spirals that don’t end but continually transform. Embracing change isn’t painless, but recognizing it and accepting it as natural eases the ache.

    1. Love that expression Diana…’moving in spirals’! Some of them transform unexpectedly and those are the ones, which bring more spasms as we are not prepared for them. Ache never eases, only we grow resilient and brave.

      Thanks for sharing your insight.

  4. Change is all around it, and it can’t be avoided. Even at right this very second, the world is turning and changing and moving. It’s something we can’t beat, so why not go along with it and make the most of the pieces that we have 🙂

    “As people around you seem to change” That is so true, so apt. People change because of personal experiences and circumstances, and in turn our perspectives change too. Sometimes our values might not be aligned with one another, but the least we can do is respect them and wish them well. Who knows, we might need them as a friend some day 🙂

    1. Hi Mabel,

      Yes, change is inevitable…that is the truth of life and some changes are welcomed with a smile while others are hard to accept. When people we trust change their attitudes and behavior, it hits us quite hard as it is quite unexpected.

      Relationships are very brittle, they lose their charm when they are not reciprocated with the same warmth. Perspectives hardly have any role to play when people are guided by circumstantial constraints. It is at such times that acceptance comes to our rescue.

      Thank you for your continued support Mabel. I appreciate it immensely.

  5. Very fine poem depicting change…Its a part of life… Everything changes in the world… Few changes we like and few dislike… Also there are few which we never want to happen… The poem is beautiful and very well penned… 🙂

    1. Thanks Ashish, welcome to Emotional Shadows. I am glad you have enjoyed reading my thoughts.

      You are absolutely right, this poem talks about those changes for which we are unprepared and wish they would have never occurred yet we can’t control them. We only learn to accept them.

  6. Hi Balroop,

    Your lovely poem encompasses the essence of all relationships . It’s our effort to hold on to a certain phase in our relationships that is the cause of our emotional misery. Change is inevitable. People who accept this fact are more at peace with themselves and with this world.
    I like the lines “New perspectives, newer attitudes Leads to shrinking of close ties”
    Well…the pangs remain deep down, and no harm in that.

    1. Hi Alka,

      Emotional misery is experienced by all, it is unavoidable but we accept it after much damage to our emotions and peace cannot be achieved without a price!

      Sometimes I wish that we could get a warning before approaching such persons…like every product carries a warning to ‘be careful’!!
      Wouldn’t life be so easier and happy?? 🙂

      1. Yes it would be much easier if there is a warning sign or if we could read minds. Sometimes we do get subtle hints…something about a person, either their body language, or eyes or little dialogues and unnecessary criticism. But we ignore them, hoping these are temporary.
        But if people behave like they do, there has to be a reason behind it…either they didn’t like us for what we are, so they react. Or they feel us to be a competition, like it is in families and work atmosphere. It all depends on the relation we have with the person. In close relations we are supposed to handle carefully and not react, but keeping it bottled up, we become emotionally miserable. There is acceptance but no escape.

  7. Acceptance. It changes everything. It makes everything easier.
    Thought I have a hard time with acceptance these days.
    Moving towards it at my own pace.
    Loving your poems Balroop. They always teach us something is a beautiful way.

    1. Yes Marie, as I said earlier, it is easier said than done. Only after going through all the anguish and suffering that we are steeled. Only then do we emerge out to learn and accept. It takes a LOT of time but hope keep us going. Happiness waits at the ending edge of the thorny path.
      Thanks for loving my poems. Love you for that.

  8. A lovely and perceptive piece of work Balroop, for which many congratulations. I must apologise for not having been around much of late, though I have had other matters to attend to ahead of blogging. Hariod ❤

    1. HI Hariod,

      Thanks dear friend, your visit is greatly revered and I would like to say it each time you share your valued perspective for my humble efforts of expressing my thoughts and emotions.

  9. There is much less pain if we accept the changes around…that is not in our control anyway! We take it to heart when somebody suddenly behaves some way…if the expectations are low already, that would not affect us much.

    1. True, a very balanced approach. All don’t carry their heart on the sleeve and therefore it is easier for many not to take it to heart. A poet’s heart is very sensitive…and that is why a poet becomes what he is!

      Thanks for standing by Alok, much appreciated.

  10. This is a lovely interpretation of human relationships, Balroop. Accepting that relationships evolve and change (even end) would certainly help us in those transitions. It’s hard to accept this sometimes though when relationships end before we’re ready to let them go. 🙂

    1. Thank you Lisa, for understanding emotions and relationships so deeply. Yes, the moment we make ourselves ready to let go, it throws a new light, a brighter one. I know, who can understand it better than you!

      Thanks for sharing your perspective, much appreciated.

  11. I liked this very much, Balroop. This definitely expresses that the inevitable pain will fade, that love may not last and yet, it adds hopefulness to understanding about people. Staying friends with my exes has helped my children and grandchildren, it seemed painful at first but I try to think of the positives of my actions and this really makes me a stronger woman, too. Smiles, Robin

    1. It is your magnanimity that has kept you stay friends with those who didn’t care much…pain turns around to become its own antidote! Stay blessed and stronger 🙂 love you!

  12. In many ways, this post reminds me of the words utilized by many self-help groups: The serenity prayer. You have put into words the essence of that concept, in a way that is readily “acceptable.” Good job, as usual, Balroop. 🙂

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