When Darkness Overwhelms…

When darkness overwhelms

My blogger friend Joe Perrone recently asked me whether I have written any fiction. This is my answer to his question:

An excerpt from the book I hope to finish one day:

This was my haven, my little island of solace where I could talk to myself. It was not always so soothing as in this dark room I have spent many hours, all alone, weeping, wishing and praying. I have spent many days thinking…what was my fault, why was I blamed, why was I slapped. I have often cursed myself for offending others.

I looked out of the little window to see some light. I craved for company, a friend, a loving person who could answer my questions. It was at such times that I tried to analyze people with my little and limited thinking. The world appeared to be a cruel place, emotions seemed quite useless and ‘love’ was just a hollow word. How could those girls, my so called friends, say they loved their mom!

I couldn’t understand what is love, as I had never seen it. What I had seen was yelling and intimidation. Fear was a very familiar emotion and I got so close to it that it steeled me. This strength was building up with the kind of atmosphere I lived in. I didn’t share my hurts with anybody. I became an introvert. I could never be comfortable in the company of friends.

A day came when I lost all sense of time I spent in this room. It ceased to be dreadful as I made friends with those bare walls that terrified me. I liked being there, away from those insensitive people around me, pretending to be my well wishers, my so called parents, one of whom was always absent and the other always in rage.Darkness quote

I started enjoying those punishments in the dark room. I would hide my color pencils in some corner to enjoy my time in a fruitful manner. I stopped weeping and cursing myself. I invented new games of using my color pencils as candles to decorate my imaginative house. I learnt to smile and refused to be sad just because certain people took pride in disciplining me in their own manner.

If I emerged smiling out of this room, two of my bullish brothers would frown, wondering what gave that vitality to my cheeks! They mocked at me for having missed the regular play hour and I had a lot of homework to finish. Learning the tables took most of my time and I hated them.

Even this dark room could not stay with me for long. We moved out of that house into a brand new big house. Now we had our own rooms and there was no dark room. I knew all my friends abandoned me, probably I was what I had been branded to be – ill-fated!

I loved this new home, the fragrance of new paint and wood. I could experience the friendship of all the nooks and crannies that I explored the very first day I stepped into this house. It cherished my dreams, cushioned my lonely moments, provided solace to my disappointments, gave shape to my adventures and inspired me to aspire high.

Every wall was a supporting shelter, how much I could share my thoughts with them, silently! But I could never forget that dark room, which taught me how to dream.

Thank you for reading this story. Please share your reflections, they are much appreciated.

If you have liked this story, please share it at your favorite social networks.

©Balroop Singh.

Image adapted from

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31 thoughts on “When Darkness Overwhelms…

  1. I hope you manage to complete your project some day, Balroop; you have much to offer from such a broad wealth of experience, and can write well too.

    1. Many thanks dear Hariod. Your kind words are like music to my ears. I am trying to brush aside the cobwebs that keep building up firmly around this project.
      Thanks for standing by to encourage. 🙂

  2. Balroop your excerpt from this chapter within a future book took me to that darkened room.. You wrote those emotions down so well.. Transporting me to the magical time of creation of candles from coloured pencils… Such is what a child does when faced in four walls..
    And I was delighted to learn you found new strength within your new home where “Every wall was a supporting shelter”.. Where I am sure it soon learned your inner most thoughts as you shared your secrets from your heart to those inner crevices and hide-a -way places..

    I do hope you continue this journey of finishing your book Balroop.. Who knows one day I may well complete my own.. 🙂

    Love and Blessings dear friend.. Have a wonderful week ❤ Sue

    1. I am really touched by the connection you could feel with these thoughts Sue, not all people like to visit such dark corners of the mind…imagination that builds around memories can be weird!

      I hope to keep this journey alive and many thanks for your warm wishes, which would serve a impetus for a few days 🙂

      Thanks for reading, your reflections are always appreciated. Stay blessed! You too have a nice week, looking after your little plants 🙂

      1. I hope you do keep this journey alive Balroop.. So many I know will relate to your thoughts.. And I am the same as you as my imagination knows no bounds as I often create different outcomes within my mind from visiting memories of the past my friend. xx Its taken me ages to sort out a technichal issue on my PC which was preventing pages loading.. Pleased I have at last cleared what ever it was.. I kept Clicking!!! lol. this and that.. and hoping for the best..
        I will be spending the day with my plants tomorrow..Big hugs to you Balroop xxx

      2. Yes dear friend,
        Hope is the moonlight filtering through the trees,
        Hope is the silent prayer that we make in distress,
        Hope is the promise that we make to ourselves,
        Hope is the happiness that we visualize,
        Hope is the horizon that we reach, if we try!
        Hugs back to you. 🙂

  3. I like the movement from dark to light, Balroop, and the way that the dark room became the place to dream. I hope you continue to work on your book. Happy Writing. 🙂

    1. No Somali…I would never want children to read such serious stuff. Thanks for the wishes, I really need them.
      Have you closed comments to your posts? Each time I visit, I can’t find the comment box! 🙂

  4. This is very powerful, Balroop. I want to know why this little girl must be punished. She surely doesn’t deserve such treatment. Her resilience is inspiring (and that’s putting it lightly). I hope you turn this story into a novel! Keep writing it, a little at a time.

    1. Hi Lisa,

      There are many such girls around us who have to face such treatment…I have often talked about them in my poems too as I have seen them…felt their pain and felt helpless in their circumstances. Adversity brings the best out of human behavior, especially for their own selves and therefore resilience is the natural outcome.

      Thank you for the encouragement dear friend, love it! Stay blessed.

  5. So many look to dispel the darkness, but it really is the womb of possibilities.
    I am sorry you had to endure what you did, as I have known similar times and circumstances, albeit in a different cultural milieu.
    Yet we become stronger, truly, if we embrace that darkness instead of denying it or remaining stuck in it, fearing we have no choice. And yes, we might ‘steel’ ourselves until we discover it safe to ‘come out.’ Yet when we do, it’s with broader strokes, a more complex palette, a different resonance. I found, anyway, that those coming into my life began to be more like my ‘new self,’ richly complex and empathetic.
    Peace and blessings, Balroop. You have changed the course of your destiny!

    1. Darkness is a true teacher Bela, it can take us towards unlimited flights of imagination, many of which become eye-openers.
      Most of this story is fictional but it has got connections to some truths of life…many children undergo such situations, some even worse.
      As mentioned above, this is an excerpt from my book and has been shared as an answer to the question of Joe, who thinks that I am only a self-help author!

      Thanks for your wisdom Bela, much appreciated. Stay blessed and have a nice week.

  6. Yes Balroop, darkness can be overwhelming, as can be seen in the out pour of your emotional story. You should keep writing as with this natural flow something good will come up. Is there some connection that you feel between those feelings as a child, and what you feel now with all your current changes?
    I can relate to many emotions in your story, also this “I could experience the friendship of all the nooks and crannies that I explored the very first day I stepped into this house.”. Anytime I moved house, I would began relating to little corners and spaces usually unnoticed by others, and I soon had my favorites.

    1. Hi Alka,

      This chapter was written much earlier than the present upheavals and has been waiting for the completion of my book but yes, intuitive power is truly amazing as this story reveals! Even fiction is closely related to my emotions… probably it is quite challenging to stand aside and write a story, without feeling it!

      Thank you for feeling connected! I believe that a true writer is the one who can connect with all kinds of emotions and stories…you are indeed such a writer Alka. Stay blessed!

  7. Thank you for sharing this story with us Balroop. It ought to be continued. Keep writing and may your first idea become a wonderful project. I like the contrast between the darkness of the room and the beautiful light of the child’s dream.

    1. Hi Marie,

      Many thanks for such beautiful words…I have always found light in the darkest of moments and that’s why my stories always veer towards positivity, which is indeed a divine blessing. I hope to continue this story. 🙂

  8. Darkness gets triumphant, most of the times. But, sometimes I find it friendly, too. The excerpt from your book sounds absolutely interesting, Balroop. Words flowing beautifully portraying pictures in front of the eyes. 🙂
    Wish you all the best for finishing the project… waiting… 🙂

    1. Thank you Mani for the best wishes and I am glad my words could evoke those images…I hope to keep them alive. 🙂
      Stay blessed and have a nice week.

  9. Amazing! You are really a positive thinker . And I wonder how I relate my self with so many of your writings.. I am always short of words to write . Now on this one I think basically it is telling us to be positive even in most difficult situations. And try to make it as good as possible. As according to me my dark room is when I was on bed for like two and half months. And after that I use to get sick so many times with my back problem and I wonder what in me kept me to stay positive with this situation .I think it was my kids who made me think I have to get better as soon as possible . I use to spend a lot of time watching tv and sometimes reading. And later I started crochet as this way I can do something while in bed .First I use to think it is may be God punishing me for some reason….Then I started thinking that this is break time for me so I should enjoy this. And once I start feeling better the line that says
    I had a lot of homework to finish………I have lot of work to finish up specially my kitchen…:) .My strength is my family that is I always come out with a smile on my face after this dark period is over . May God almighty give strength to all those who are facing difficult situations in their life.
    Thanks for writing you are an artist who can paint flawless picture in the mind of readers.

    1. Hi Daljeet.

      Many thanks for such a beautiful feedback. I am glad that you could relate to this story in such a positive manner. Only positivity makes us move ahead despite all the setbacks and life is full of such stumbling blocks. It is good that you have mentioned them…they may seen very insignificant to others but those moments seem like years…only positive thinking can make us face them with fortitude. Having a supporting family is a blessing 🙂

      I am sorry to hear about your ill health. I hope you are feeling better now. Take care dear friend, stay blessed!

  10. Thank you for sharing some of your fiction with us. I hope you continue to work on the project and watch it grow. A character who turns a room of punishment into a room of refuge is one I’d like to see more of on the page.

  11. How ironic that you should quote Poe. He was one of the first writers for whom I developed an affinity as a young boy exploring the world of writing. He was a true master. Nice story, by the way. 🙂

  12. Thank you Joe, I chose this quote because it goes so well with the story. Sometimes dark moments inspire incredibly. I appreciate your standing by.

  13. I guess “go to your room” was more of a gift than a punishment to many of us as children.

    I especially liked this ending:

    Every wall was a supporting shelter, how much I could share my thoughts with them, silently! But I could never forget that dark room, which taught me how to dream.

  14. Probably you are talking about those children who are loved and respected. This girl was abhorred because she was a ‘girl child’…a burden!

    Thank you dear Georgia for standing by to share your thoughts.

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