Personal Transformation Secrets

Personal TransformationThere are thousands of stories about personal transformation and the oft-repeated word is – positivity! The word seems to suggest that the moment we write that word down in our journal, the moment we start thinking about it, change within us starts.

While the stories of personal transformation inspire, there are many people whose inspiration lasts for a few moments, who like to wallow in self-pity and don’t make any conscious effort to move on from the dumps of depression.

Positive thoughts need constant ignition. That’s why one appointment with a therapist is not sufficient. What does a therapist do? He just listens to our disappointing thoughts and veers them towards positivity.

I can say with great conviction that positivity does help but personal transformation is a very slow process. So slow that we don’t even notice it.

In many cases it doesn’t occur at all…why?

  • Negative influence around us impedes our first step, detrimental discussions about persons who work against our progress especially at work place sway our thoughts so much that we fail to see how much such people can harm our personality.
  • Getting stuck in the past, whining about who hurt us and why and submerging ourselves in the sea of sadistic thoughts doesn’t let us move beyond what we are and what we wanted to be.
  • Obsession of success can take us far into the barren lands of transience, which seem to be so alluring that we lose connection with our own self as well as our treasured relationships.
  • Arrogance of wealth and power refuses to knock us down its exalted pedestal, from where we see ourselves as perfect.
  • All those persons who ride high on the clouds of perfection refuse to accept that they could become better persons.

I know a few who don’t even possess the courage to acknowledge that they had hurt somebody at some juncture of life, knowingly or unknowingly. Some are those who continue to hurt and say ‘why should I change now?’ They believe that people deserve the treatment that has been meted out to them because of their imperfections. Ironically they refuse to see that nobody is perfect!

If you want to change yourself…

Accept your inadequacies:

Do you consider acceptance of your weaknesses equivalent to lowering of your self-esteem? Has self-love created a rift between you and your dear ones? If so, it is time to introspect. You may be aware of the reasons; the moment you acknowledge them in your heart; you could initiate personal transformation.

Get in touch with your inner self:Personal transformation quote

Do you sweep embarrassing issues and questions under the carpet? Do you postpone their discussion? Do you live in the world of denial? There must be some fears and insecurities, which could be hampering your growth. Unless you let them reveal themselves and make peace with them, personal transformation doesn’t ensue.

Cultivate kindness:

A kind heart overlooks all mistakes and forgives all. Do one kind act everyday. It could be as little as smiling at somebody. Kindness is immensely cathartic for the body and the soul. It calms our nerves and introduces us to empathy. It enhances our confidence and provides a strange satisfaction. Studies have revealed that kind people are happy and healthy.

Understand success:

Success may be an important goal of your life but it loses its meaning when we shoot past other aspects of life. Success is being happy, being at peace with yourself; being able to look after yourself and being content. A successful person is the one who is emotionally balanced. Addiction to success often proves self-detrimental. The corridors of success are illuminated more by our emotions.

“Transformation is not automatic. It must be learned; it must be led.” – W. Edwards Deming.

We have to allow ourselves to become a better person. You can read more about personal enhancement in my latest book.

Have you ever struggled with frustrations? Do negative thoughts pester you?

Thank you for reading this. Please add your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.

If you have liked this article, please share it at your favorite social networks.

Balroop Singh.


35 thoughts on “Personal Transformation Secrets

  1. Such a profound and beautiful post Balroop. You’ve shared all the important elements here to start the process of transformation, and a wonderful lead in to your book. Looking forward to having you over next week!
    Happy weekend. 🙂 ❤

    1. Thank you Deb, I love to share my experiences of learning and self-help has been my saving grace. Personality evolves very slowly but it only does if we accept our imperfections and learn to forgive ourselves as well as others. Hope you are having a relaxing Sunday 🙂

      1. Beautifully said Balroop. That seems to be the key doesn’t it – forgiving ourselves first. 🙂 I’m relaxing reading blogs now. Wishing you a peaceful week my friend. 🙂 ❤

  2. Agreed. As Debbie said, this post is profound. Being positive and having a positive outlook doesn’t happen overtime but as you said, it is a process. For a while I wasn’t very happy and it took me so long to see a therapist. Booked her for six months and over those few months she didn’t accuse me but was very open-minded to all negative thoughts and why they were happening. Sometimes, when you look into detail at one negative part of your life, it will lead to others and more. It takes a while to feel ourselves after challenging times, but when we do. we will know who and what matters to us. Have a good week, and take care my friend 🙂

    1. I am glad you chose the healing path Mabel…self-healing begins within our heart. We have to let go the hurts and look forward to the brighter side…pain is a universal phenomenon and imperative as it leads us out of the darkest tunnels we like to bury ourselves into. Whosoever is responsible for pushing us there, we have to make our own efforts to come out. A therapist may make it easier but the positive voice has to come from within.
      Thanks for sharing your struggle with negativity. Love and hugs. 🙂

  3. ‘Hi Balroop, This post exhibits a deep understanding of personal transformation and what it takes to bring about the change within oneself. While I agree with and like all the points that you have listed what I like most is the way you have defined the meaning of Success. Success is not entirely external. As you have said, it is being happy, being at peace with yourself; being able to look after yourself and most importantly being content. Also, I completely agree that a single dose of positivity from a therapist is not enough. It is a way of looking at things, A positive mindset has to be inculcated by us. Thanks for sharing such a meaningful post.

    1. Thanks for standing by Somali. I am glad this post spoke to you in a positive manner and that you appreciate my perspective of success. I wish more people could understand that pursuing success blindly is stressful and worthless if it pulls us away from other beautiful aspects of life. Yes, positivity is a way of life but it develops slowly and in right company…we seem to be the ones! 🙂 Stay blessed!

  4. Dear Balroop.
    I Echo Debby, Mabel and Somali.. Such a profound post.. So true.. And I can say with hand on heart from one who has has to pull herself up from the depths of depression.. That the climb does not happen overnight.. And you slip back many times into that pit of despair..
    You can understand perfectly what you need to do.. But you have to want to transform.. and change.. Others can not do this for you..
    For its often not others who are the problem.. Its learning that its your own thoughts, your own feelings are that hold you back..
    This can be set like concrete, so deeply ingrained from childhood, of not feeling worthy or loved.. So to turn yourself around you first have to be ‘Kind’ to yourself.. Learning that you are important, and to nurture yourself is often going against what we are taught.. For we can be taught Self love is Selfish..
    Stripping the layers back, are painful, as we revisit past hurts, and our inadequacies, seeing that we are not perfect.. No one is.. But accepting yourself warts and all..
    Learning to forgive others as well as yourself..
    And also learning that while embracing positiveness, we have to also accept that this is a dual world of both positive and negatives.. And that both are requires in order to experience both..
    We have to then see, that often those negatives in others have also taught us about the negatives in ourselves.. And that through those who wounded us, we have also grown, For without their negative-woe-is-me attitudes, They show us how far we have come..

    Your post Balroop so spoke to me.. I was nodding my head throughout each paragraph my friend..
    And the most important bit is that those who Listen, heal us.. by just letting us speak as we let out the layers of debris we have gathered around us.. We then let go of the load we have carried, and it no longer ‘de-presses’ us with its weight. So we feel Lighter, and brighter..

    Many thanks again for this insightful post Balroop showing your own inner knowledge of such feelings… 🙂

    1. Ah! Sue, I love your reflections and the way you connect with the basics of personal transformation is admirable! Yes, dear friend, the climb out of the dumps of negativity is steep and slippery. Unless we possess a strong will power and grit, it becomes quite challenging.
      Yes, it a dual world and negativity speaks loudly and eloquently and often we choose to listen to this monster, which is ever eager to grab us into its jaws…we hardly know this till we are in its vice grip, grappling to free ourselves. But there is one benefit of this struggle…we emerge stronger, resilient and determined to embrace shimmering rays of the positive world.
      Thank you Sue for sharing your insights and adding so much to this post. Such meaningful discourses are lovely learning experiences. Love and hugs. 🙂

      1. Your posts Balroop often touch deeper the aspects of our human selves.. And its good to know we rise together from out of negativity and its grip my friend…
        Love and Blessings back my friend. The pleasure in reading is all mine.. xxx ❤

  5. Lovely post, Balroop. I really enjoyed your four ways to change your life. All are powerful. I know some people who insist that others need to change in order for them to be happy, but it just isn’t how life works. We can only change ourselves. It’s not easy but it’s free and the results are amazing! ❤

    1. Thanks Diana! Change in one’s personality is very challenging and slow but blessed are those who understand that working on our imperfections is indeed satisfying. Yes, ‘the results are amazing!’ 🙂

      1. Awareness seems to be key. Recognizing things about ourselves that we want to change and realizing that we have the power and courage to change them is a huge step. And you’re right, the results can be truly satisfying.

  6. Wonderful points and they sound relatable. To accept the inadequacies and understand ‘success’, I think, are the most important part of the process of attaining a positive perspective. I agree with all the other friends here, a thought-provoking and profound post, Balroop.

    1. I am glad that you could relate to these points Mani. In fact we all wish to enhance our personality but keep procrastinating; a lot of time fleets by before the process starts and we learn to appreciate the brighter aspect. Thank you for your kind words. Stay blessed!

  7. One must understand the implications they have if they don’t go through personal transformation- they make life hell for others around, if they belong to the category you’ve mentioned.

    Life actually begins once you cross over, that’s where we would reap fruits for ourselves also!

  8. Thinking positive is so important but it does take effort when it feels like everything is going wrong. I like how you’ve laid this out, Balroop. You’ve made it clear that being positive depends so much on how we view ourselves and others. Acceptance of imperfection is a huge step! I agree this is an ongoing process. Your book sounds amazing!

    1. I am glad you liked the secrets of personal transformation Lisa. Positive thoughts are created by us…so all depends on our own will power. Thanks for sharing your perspective. 🙂

  9. Hi Balroop, Thank you for your well-written post. Sue’s points i the comments resonated for me. You have to be willing to change to go through personal transformation. Many of us like certainty in the form of stagnancy 🙂 Change is hard, scary and uncertain. It feels more comfortable to be where you are than to transform but you then lose out on growth and becoming your highest self. Usually, I feel like it’s some dramatic life event that inspires people to make changes through personal transformation.

    1. I agree Vishnu, change is hard and scary, that’s why we keep waiting for some miracle to inspire us for self-improvement. The awakening hits us when we realise that stagnancy has been detrimental only for us! Thanks for standing by to share your view, always appreciated and valued.

  10. I would agree, personal transformation is something everyone wants, and wants NOW, without the years it takes to achieve it. And it never stops; I believe self-improvement is a lifetime of work and study. It needs to be a committment – not something we do when we feel like it.

    That being said, ‘personal transformation’ has never been popular. So many articles are on this and how to do it and it can only mean that everyone is craving it which is a wonderful turn for humanity!

    1. Thanks for sharing your view Lani…this is the era of instant gratification and therefore we think change can happen overnight! Sadly that is too much to expect from personalities…yes, it takes full life to bring about the required changes in our behavior.
      Personal transformation could be unpopular for two reasons – first, people think they are always right. Second, they always expect others to change as they consider themselves to be the best! 🙂

  11. Nearly 36 years ago, I initiated therapy with the most wonderful therapist imaginable. I spent three years in his care (he truly did care!), and it made all the difference in the world for me. At the time, I was undergoing a divorce, then a new marriage, and other transformational events in my life. Without his help, I doubt that I would ever have achieved my potential as an author, and, more importantly, as a human being. I urge anyone who is struggling to see a good therapist. It will change your life! 🙂 Thanks, Balroop, for bringing this important topic to light. 🙂

    1. I am glad to hear you met the right therapist…many fail to connect! Thanks for sharing your story, I am glad you could connect with this one. 🙂

  12. The road to personal transformation is a fraught one – it requires a lot of internal reflection and absolute honesty about oneself! Not easy for everyone! Your post is a positive force in itself and gives us clear directions about which way to go forward and how to combat the resistances we will face. An inspirational post, Balroop and given me a real lift! Thank you for sharing with us and also the two quote – I do like Steven Pressfield’s one, it does feel like the two will never reconcile! Also, Denning’s words are very pertinent and true: “Transformation is not automatic. It must be learned; it must be led.”

    1. Honesty and self-reflection, so imperative to personal growth are often brushed aside for so-called important jobs, which are divergent depending upon one’s choices. Thank you dear Annika for reading this post with interest, feeling inspired and sharing your perspective. Love your brilliant feedback. Stay blessed! 🙂

  13. Hi Balroop, this is a lovely post so subtly presented but you have significantly dissected the fundamental aspect of personal transformation which is not just one off event in our life but it is a continuous process and we have to keep honing that skill to keep ourselves in that cycle of positive change. We all go through the cycle of ups and downs, the bouts of frustration and the share of depression, and there are so much of negativity in today’s fast paced life, the word positivity sometime becomes an oasis in a vast desert of negative thoughts lurking all around us. It is in the nature of human being. We all have inadequacies and these are remain perennially with us till we live, as we overcome one adequacy, we start seeing one more within us, and as we encounter newer situation we keep discovering much more about our inner self an it is only during tough times and such situation which are adverse in nature that we recognize our strength and our weakness.

    In this cycle of change between failures and success, we unravel so many different layers and these layers make us think deep and harder, we reflect, we pontificate, we evolve, the recipe to success resides in the way we think, it is in thinking and in our thoughts and in that sense a positive thinking and followed by an equally determined action of our thought we started seeing the changes, and changes that are good for us. While going through the changes and doing the activities that take us through the much needed change we have to be generous and kind in our engagement with the people and world around us, the word kindness is vital to building a process of change that is sustainable in nature for positive results.

    The definition of success is different to different people and there are different ways to achieve what we all in our conventional sense called as success…and it is not a permanent place where we can live forever, and the yardstick constantly keeps changing and we set our own benchmark and we keep changing the goal post and keep questioning our achievement, accomplishment and the way we understand success and keep looking around us for the elusive happiness and peace of mind. Physical to Spiritual transformation is a constant company in our life sometime we do it with choice but many times we avoid and ignore and have to do with compulsion. Thanks Balroop for sharing such a profound and powerful thought…

    1. Thanks for standing by Nihar…I often wonder what keeps you away from sharing your insights, which add so much meaning to posts as you are so good at point by point analysis of all kinds of posts! Many thanks for sharing your thoughts on this ever-important and challenging topic. I am trying to chew on your feedback 🙂 Stay blessed and have a wonderful week.

      1. Hi Balroop, it is always such a pleasure sharing ideas, reading your wonderful posts and exchanging such insightful and enriching thoughts. This very idea on personal transformation in this post resonant so well with all of us as we all are going to that bouts of negativity on a constant basis in our fast paced and digitally hooked environment where we are left we little time to pause and reflect, we are hard pressed with time and we spare so less time with self and nature to nurture our soul.
        Compassion and kindness has been big casualties…
        Have a lovely week ahead.

      2. Thanks Nihar, I am delighted to note that this topic resonated with you, I agree we all wait for the little changes we love to usher into our lives to become better individuals…’pausing and reflecting’ – righty said! 🙂

      3. Hi Balroop, change is so much needed in our life and indeed it is the harbinger of good things in the long run.
        When you find time please check the link “Ten Most Fascinating writeups on Writing” on my Header Page…

    1. Thanks for stopping by Jacqui, glad to connect and welcome to Emotional Shadows. You are right, money can never replace time and respect.

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