Personal Transformation Secrets

Personal TransformationThere are thousands of stories about personal transformation and the oft-repeated word is – positivity! The word seems to suggest that the moment we write that word down in our journal, the moment we start thinking about it, change within us starts.

While the stories of personal transformation inspire, there are many people whose inspiration lasts for a few moments, who like to wallow in self-pity and don’t make any conscious effort to move on from the dumps of depression.

Positive thoughts need constant ignition. That’s why one appointment with a therapist is not sufficient. What does a therapist do? He just listens to our disappointing thoughts and veers them towards positivity.

I can say with great conviction that positivity does help but personal transformation is a very slow process. So slow that we don’t even notice it.

In many cases it doesn’t occur at all…why?

  • Negative influence around us impedes our first step, detrimental discussions about persons who work against our progress especially at work place sway our thoughts so much that we fail to see how much such people can harm our personality.
  • Getting stuck in the past, whining about who hurt us and why and submerging ourselves in the sea of sadistic thoughts doesn’t let us move beyond what we are and what we wanted to be.
  • Obsession of success can take us far into the barren lands of transience, which seem to be so alluring that we lose connection with our own self as well as our treasured relationships.
  • Arrogance of wealth and power refuses to knock us down its exalted pedestal, from where we see ourselves as perfect.
  • All those persons who ride high on the clouds of perfection refuse to accept that they could become better persons.

I know a few who don’t even possess the courage to acknowledge that they had hurt somebody at some juncture of life, knowingly or unknowingly. Some are those who continue to hurt and say ‘why should I change now?’ They believe that people deserve the treatment that has been meted out to them because of their imperfections. Ironically they refuse to see that nobody is perfect!

If you want to change yourself…

Accept your inadequacies:

Do you consider acceptance of your weaknesses equivalent to lowering of your self-esteem? Has self-love created a rift between you and your dear ones? If so, it is time to introspect. You may be aware of the reasons; the moment you acknowledge them in your heart; you could initiate personal transformation.

Get in touch with your inner self:Personal transformation quote

Do you sweep embarrassing issues and questions under the carpet? Do you postpone their discussion? Do you live in the world of denial? There must be some fears and insecurities, which could be hampering your growth. Unless you let them reveal themselves and make peace with them, personal transformation doesn’t ensue.

Cultivate kindness:

A kind heart overlooks all mistakes and forgives all. Do one kind act everyday. It could be as little as smiling at somebody. Kindness is immensely cathartic for the body and the soul. It calms our nerves and introduces us to empathy. It enhances our confidence and provides a strange satisfaction. Studies have revealed that kind people are happy and healthy.

Understand success:

Success may be an important goal of your life but it loses its meaning when we shoot past other aspects of life. Success is being happy, being at peace with yourself; being able to look after yourself and being content. A successful person is the one who is emotionally balanced. Addiction to success often proves self-detrimental. The corridors of success are illuminated more by our emotions.

“Transformation is not automatic. It must be learned; it must be led.” – W. Edwards Deming.

We have to allow ourselves to become a better person. You can read more about personal enhancement in my latest book.

Have you ever struggled with frustrations? Do negative thoughts pester you?

Thank you for reading this. Please add your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.

If you have liked this article, please share it at your favorite social networks.

Balroop Singh.

 

How Reading Affects Our Personal Development #WorldBookDay

World Book Day - love for reading

World Book Day – a day that celebrates reading, a day that always inspires me to renew my love for books and share it, a day that reminds me how meaningless life would be without books!

Reading has not only given me pleasure, added brilliance to my gloomy hours but has also enriched my life in various ways.

It has made me wiser, healthier, resilient and emotionally balanced. It helps me converse with the greatest thinkers and dreamers.

“The reading of all good books is like conversation with the finest men of past centuries.” – Rene Descartes

Reading inspiring stories reassures me that inspiration could be found anywhere, even in the tears of detachment. Fictional characters too have the potential to enthuse new energy into us.

Redefines anguish:

Reading gives us the capacity to understand, to absorb and to figure out that anguish, loss, grief is a universal phenomenon. Getting stuck in our suffering can block our own growth.

When you equate your painful experiences with others, they seem trivial and you learn to deal with them. The connection becomes the healing factor.

Gives a fresh perspective:

Reading drags you out of your cocoon to watch the world with a fresh perspective, which develops when you are exposed to various views.

Pain, misfortune and emotional hurts are inevitable. It is futile to immerse ourselves in the setbacks of life because sooner or later we have to abandon this baggage to move ahead.

Takes us places:

Reading helps us escape the mundane events of life, it takes us to places, which we could have never visited; it defines our purpose of living; absorb the ideas that appeal to us and then analyze them.

The best moments of our life are created by reading; the best flights of imagination are crafted by the words of a writer who can create a scenario, which transports us into the realms of our choice and stay there frozen in time.

Realities of life come alive:

Stories of guilt, horror and forgiveness acquaint us with those realities of life, which could remain hidden from us. The atrocities of the past, the oppression and discrimination recorded in the annals of history unfold before us when we read.

Even those who choose light, romantic stories get a whiff of the truths of love and life and learn that freedom to live our life the way we want to, was not always possible and is still a far cry for many.Reading quote

Connections and social relationships get better:

The magical power of friendship and reverence, social interaction and kindness is revealed through reading fiction. We can learn some profound lessons of life from fictional characters.

Reading enhances our emotional quotient, our capability of understanding people, complex human behavior and their frailties. I didn’t know how forgiveness could free us from self-imprisonment till I read about it.

Virtues of life can be felt:

Have you noticed how a virtuous character leaves a lasting impression on your mind? Nobody likes a villain who is always conniving to make life difficult but we learn to distinguish between the good and the bad from his devious ways.

“Reading is a basic tool in the living of a good life.” – Joseph Addison

Develops analytical skills:

Reading poetry honed my aesthetic and analytical skills and has made me more sensitive towards the beauties around me. It also introduced me to the finer emotions of humanity.

Has reading affected your personality? I would love to hear your perspective.

Thank you for reading this. Please add your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.

If you have liked this post, please share it at your favorite social networks.

Balroop Singh.

 

 

The Amazing Power Of Kindness

power-of-kindnessKindness starts with you!

The power of kindness can only be felt within your heart from where it emanates.

Kindness may be innate but it doesn’t come to the surface if it is not nurtured with little acts of concern, if it is not fostered during receptive years of growth, if siblings don’t show kindness to each other and most importantly if parents lack it.

Self-centered parents who strive to show their superiority; who are in constant strife for one reason or the other leave an indelible mark on the psyche of their children with their demeanor. Kindness remains routed!

“Kindness is a behavior marked by ethical characteristics, a pleasant disposition, and concern for others.” This definition that I have picked from Wikipedia doesn’t seem to satisfy my understanding of the term as I have seen many ‘pleasant dispositions’ faking kindness.

One kind act can calm many emotions. One kind person in a family can cement many relationships.

There is one person in my life, whom I didn’t choose, who just happened to become the most important person for me not because I liked him but I happened to be connected with him by custom and law. Initially I was quite confused about him.

I had never really known love; so I cant say I loved him. But I could understand what is love through his interactions with me.

He never mentioned the word ‘love’ but I could see it; sense it and discern it through his little gestures of care. His ability to read my mind and doing exactly what I wanted before I could communicate my desires amazed me. Slowly I evolved into a different person.

He molded me with his boundless benevolence, without actually saying a word about my imperfections, arrogance and rudeness.

He never ever criticized me for anything even when he should have. With his kindness, he taught me those lessons of life, which nobody could ever force down my throat.

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His kind words of giving a benefit of doubt to everybody around him amazed me. His equanimity, and complacency in the most difficult situations, his serene silence even when I argued my guts out enlightened me about the need to become a better person.

Like all human beings he is not perfect yet he evokes admiration. He is candid enough to say ‘I cant read your poetry’!

When I published Sublime Shadows Of Life and he heard praise from some of my friends, he secretly read a few of my poems and said… “You can write well!” I cherish his words as he is a person of few words and uses them judiciously. When he says something, everybody listens.

He is always by my side in whatever decision I take…wrong or right.

If this were not kindness then I would love to hear more about it.

When Mark Twain said, “Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see,” he must be talking about the language of such little gestures of kindness, which can only be perceived with an intuitive eye.

It is only when we treat others with respect and parity that they learn to understand the value of these words. They become what they could have aspired. Kindness is like that candle, which gives its light to others and burns brighter.

My book ‘Allow Yourself To Be A Better Person’ can be downloaded FREE from 22 January – 23 January, 2017. Happy reading! I look forward to your kindness.

Grab your copy at amazon.com

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Thank you for reading this. Please add your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.

If you have liked this article, please share it at your favorite social networks.

Balroop Singh.

 

How Good Teachers Can Get Inspired To Mold Personalities

Personality development

I didn’t realize the effects of a teacher on personalities till I stepped into this profession. Probably I didn’t have any such teacher around me whom I admired ardently or who could touch my heart but I do remember a few who emitted an unseen light, which could brighten the path of an average student.

When I stumbled upon the profession of a teacher, which I didn’t plan to follow, I was very keen to teach high school students. I thought it was easier!

I was told I needed a professional training.

Despite a teacher’s training degree in my hand, I hardly knew what makes a good teacher. I learnt it from my students, from my daily interaction with them and listening to their opinion and complaints.

Slowly it dawned upon me how much a teacher can give. I was amazed at the expectations of my students and I had to work very hard to come up to their beliefs.

I noted that a teacher is trusted more than a parent probably because a teacher really listens, is non-judgmental and supports the pupils who choose to confide in him/her.

Now I started grasping the real meaning of “Nation Builders.”

Now I knew that Good teachers are not born.

“I am indebted to my father for living, but to my teacher for living well.” – Alexander the Great.

I was humbled by this profession, which I didn’t want to join because people looked down upon it, it was so lowly paid and only those “who couldn’t find a better job became a teacher,” was the perception!

I found it immensely satisfying. The dividends it paid could not be counted, could not be seen because they could only be felt.

They stand before me now in the form of most successful human beings who value the contribution of teachers. Their one word of gratitude is the biggest bank balance for me.

My pupils showed me what is patience and benevolence; they revealed the value of hard work; they taught me how emotions are knitted into the fabric of values to make them more effective.

Once I had been molded by my students, it was my turn and this is what I learnt:

Children are like clay in our hands. Like a sculptor we can chisel and carve their personalities with our behavior.

“A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops.” ― Henry Adams.

Teachers appreciation

Teachers inspire the desire for learning:

True learning is the one, which is self-accentuated. A good teacher understands this basic principle and lays bare all the possibilities before the students. Curriculum may be binding, it may limit the potential but a real teacher focuses on igniting the minds to go beyond those limitations. Carl Jung has rightly observed, “The curriculum is so much necessary raw material, but warmth is the vital element for the growing plant and for the soul of the child.“

Make them discerning individuals:

Students look up to their teachers for guidance and path-breaking initiatives. When they meet an inspired teacher, they start believing in their own dreams. It is only with the much-needed encouragement that their aspirations get a boost. Classroom discussions play an important role in giving confidence to new thoughts and developing their own perceptions.

Make them absorb the values of discipline:

A disciplined teacher can convey the need and significance of discipline to become self-disciplined. Children may take pleasure in breaking the rules, they may scoff at the reprimand and punitive actions but what they see in their teacher eventually gets absorbed. An upright teacher doesn’t have to organize discussions on this topic.

Inspire positive thoughts:

Little disappointments seem gigantic to children, especially teenagers. Teachers can convert those moments of disenchantment into stepping-stones by talking them out of negativity. A good teacher can also become a counselor, as she/he understands students better than parents. Teenagers feel more comfortable in sharing their problems with their teachers or friends.

Values are learned effortlessly:

Good and conscientious teachers can touch the students with their kindness and patience. Little children learn more through observation and image. When their role model exemplifies the ethics enshrined in the rulebook, it is easier for them to imbibe them naturally. I have often heard my outspoken students complain about double standards, which confused them.

“Everyone who remembers his own education remembers teachers, not methods and techniques. The teacher is the heart of the educational system.” – Sidney Hook

They make an eternal impact on students:

I was surprised at the influence of my own child’s teacher on her when she refused to share the little secret of her school function with me saying, “it is a surprise for the parents and will be revealed only on the day the function will be presented!”

My own heart swells with delight when I meet my old students and can see a spark of brightness in their eyes while they talk about those ‘golden’ days.

Whether it is sharpening their speaking talent, acquainting them with their potential, or honing their social skills, a teacher can truly mold the personalities of students.

Did you meet any such teacher who made a difference in your life? I would love to hear about her/him.

Thank you for reading this. Please add your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.

If you have liked this article, please share it at your favorite social networks.

Balroop Singh.

I Learnt To Be Positive On The Way…

Positive thinking

I have always dared, dared to speak out my mind, dared to take my own decisions, dared to quit whenever I wanted to.

It was not easy and it wasn’t permitted. Yes! Permissions have to be taken… sadly at each and every aspect of life!

People like to hold you back because they want to control you; they could be insecure or jealous. They restrict your decisions to remain all-important in your life. You like to listen to them thinking they could be right, they could be your well-wishers but the reality could be quite different and you may never even know what made them hold you back from pursuing your own dreams, taking your own decisions and acquiring confidence.

Self belief:

There was a time when I didn’t trust myself but a strong self-belief kept me going till I discovered all the distrust factors were external, that they were not my own fears, they were created. When the realization dawned, I was amazed at my strength and conviction.

Intuition:

There is no doubt that it built over the years but all those controlling factors endowed me with an intuition beyond imagination. They contributed to my fortitude and determination to forge ahead.

Decisiveness:

I dared to resign my first job out of my own desire to set up my home and look after my child. I did that for my own happiness but it took me far beyond…I could spend blissful moments with my child, nurturing her impressionable years, adding joy to her infancy with my presence and those memorable moments stand before me now and smile at my scoffers who condemned my irresponsible decision of quitting a very secure job.

Candor:

I could never wear a mask to please others; I could never pay a compliment if the words didn’t emerge from my heart; I could never be pressurized to follow the crowd.

I would reiterate that it is not easy. You get disliked and judged, people assume you are arrogant and may even shun you. My mettle steered me through those challenges and I could find some gems in the form of loving friends who understand me and admire me for what I am.Dare to be different

Resilience:

I was never ashamed of my critics. I learnt from them not to judge without really understanding people.

I didn’t flinch when people picked on me; tried to bully me into believing what they think was right. I learnt to be kind and empathetic.

I refused to show my tears to the world for treating me harshly. I learnt to be resilient and shared my agonies with the trusted few.

I poured my heart into poetry and got acquainted with another aspect of my own self, lying latent within me.

I emerged stronger than my own self and was amazed at the power we have within us to deal with the tribulations of life.

All because I dared and I am proud of that.

Balroop Singh.