Growing Intolerance In Societies – Who Is Accountable?


I have always been deeply disturbed by intolerance and wanted to write about it but I have always turned my face the other way, trying to avoid it, knowing well how deep-rooted this sentiment is and how less I know about it.

I have tried to understand it in my own limited arena, how it develops and gets aggravated within the families before it spills out onto the streets.

Quite early in life, I had my first encounter with this emotion albeit I had no idea that people call it intolerance and it is so widespread! With the passage of time I learnt that intolerance is the refusal to accept, appreciate and respect the views, beliefs or behavior of a person or a social group.

I also learnt that we are not born with intolerance. Children are too innocent to understand the depth of this term, which is defined for them by their parents, environment and the society in which they are raised.

So it is a learned behavior. It is most often trigged by fear or insecurity that people face in their immediate environment.

It is a universal phenomenon…in some societies it is camouflaged under empathy and help that leaders try to offer, only to exploit it for their own benefits, which could be political, religious or related to caste and color.

Mahatma Gandhi felt, “Intolerance is itself a form of violence and an obstacle to the growth of a true democratic spirit.”

We inflict this violence on each other, without caring for the emotional hurts it causes especially on young adolescents who have to deal with it in educational institutions and neighborhood.

Role of families: As a child, whenever I visited my grandmother’s home, I saw a weird form of intolerance towards the working class, who could not mingle with the landlord families, had to sit on the floor and eat in their own plates, which had to be kept separate. Feudal masters looked down upon them just because they were poor and worked in their fields.

It is quite obvious that the children of such houses would grow up with the feeling that this kind of behavior was right and that is how it got embedded in social set up. It could never be rooted out despite the best of opportunities and laws. It still exists in a veiled form because certain people refuse to accept the underprivileged and the downtrodden as their equal. They share their beliefs and opinions with their children in their own narrow-minded way and the vicious circle continues.


Role of groups: There are fanatics who want to underline the importance of their own caste, region, race or religion. They create such groups to highlight the superiority of their race or religion. They keep raking the age-old traditions to prove that their ancestors had rightly created the class divide. Their constant endeavor is to sow the seeds of narrow-mindedness in the impressionable minds.

The atrocities of the past, the brutalities, which were inflicted by a certain group of people, are never buried. They are kept alive by talking about them so that the posterity remembers the prejudices, so that the youth can be instigated in the name of never ending vengeance.

Education, awareness and globalization has done little in eradicating intolerance, which is much more deep-rooted than we think. It is associated with the biased views of a parent, a teacher or a leader whose influence on growing children cannot be prevented.

Role of educational institutions: Children who study in minority schools and convents are conditioned to follow a set of rules, which contribute immensely to their development. They may not be told that others are lesser than them but the way their own beliefs, principles and philosophies are drilled, do create a subtle feeling of superiority for their own group.

Some of those who are confused try to rationalize those beliefs and principles but many more are easily carried away by the radical groups and that is how fringe elements get an impetus to keep themselves active and alive to exploit the sensitive matters.

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Intolerance is also self-perpetuated and controlling this emotion is possible:

  • Think rationally
  • Learn to control anger and jealousy
  • Be sensitive to the hurts of others
  • Nurture kindness and compassion
  • Respect the opinion of others
  • Don’t feed doubt, vengeance and outrage

Intolerance is another form of discrimination. To my mind, they are synonyms.

Intolerance begins from homes, not hearts.

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Balroop Singh.


Why Arrogant People Don’t Have Friends…


This is my third post on Arrogance, which is inspired from organic traffic.

This word – ‘Arrogance’ is detested by all due to the negative energy it carries but we all like to know more about its aspects and dimensions. Have you read how it can harm our personality?

Arrogance leads you into a self-created glittering world, making you the protagonist of those realms and the throne that feeds your ego is placed at a higher pedestal. It is very difficult to look at others with compassion and love when you gaze from that exalted throne.

Self-love dominates your thoughts and all those around you appear to be your friends and admirers.

Arrogance dwells in such a shallow zone where relationships do not hold any relevance. So friendship and arrogance can never move hand in hand.

Self-importance guides arrogance:

You have to step down from that platform of superciliousness to befriend people but your haughty nature doesn’t let you step down. You think you have a lot of friends and indeed you can see yourself surrounded by many people.

Admirers can never be your true friends. They would surround you till you entertain them, party with them and let your money flow freely for their benefit.

Arrogance detests emotions:

The only emotions that seem to be of any importance to arrogant persons are those, which concern them. If they have been snubbed at some stage of life, they carry that pain in their heart forever. If they have not been treated justly, they would call the whole humanity unjust. When they hide their true emotions from their friends, the latter can understand their demeanor.

Arrogance doesn’t trust anybody:Arrogance quote

Trust is the main plank of true friendship but arrogant people are always on their guard. Their relationships remain superficial. They fail to open their heart to their friends and therefore their friendship never crosses that line of mutual trust. Those who try to be friendly with such people often discover this trait and walk off, feeling cheated.

Nobody likes to be judged and controlled:

Arrogance is that intoxication, which never lets you come to your senses. Those who acquire this trait think highly of themselves and try to judge even their friends. They manipulate them in various ways, which is always disliked. How long can any friend bear such a behavior?

Arrogance mocks at humility:

Such people consider humility to be a weakness. They look down upon benevolent and humble friends, which exposes their own hollowness. Virtues are very hard to maintain and therefore all those who try to endure the behavior of arrogant persons give up out of disappointment.

Arrogance thrives on dominance:

Would you like your friend to control your thoughts, influence you into doing something you may not be comfortable with? Arrogant people are compulsive rulers. They want to govern your feelings, your time and even your likes. They take pleasure in planning for all the people around them.

Do you have arrogant friends? Do you like their company? I would love to hear your views.

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Seven Secrets Of Arrogance


Arrogance is the big brother of ego; she likes him, pampers him and lets him have his own way. The overbearing pride that he carries around him keeps him in his own world of illusion.

A random statement of my friend who felt – almost everybody is arrogant shook me and I tried to analyze. Starting with my own personality, I realized how much arrogance I had shed, to change myself.

We all possess a certain amount of ego and to put it more mildly, we call it self- esteem. We can’t tolerate even a little bit of shove till we learn to live with the realization that feeling superior is a human trait, a way of the world.

“Young people are arrogant because they always associate with their own peers, those who are all really nothing but who would like to be very important.”—Friedrich Nietzsche.

Are you Arrogant? – a checklist:arrogance-300x300

  • You judge people, without actually knowing them.
  • You think you are more talented, more successful.
  • You think you are always right.
  • You like to be your own boss.
  • You like to discuss your own achievements.
  • You are a bad and impatient listener.
  • You find pleasure in domineering.
  • You like to assert your view on others.
  • You look down upon humble and gentle people.

If the answer to even half of the above statements is true, you can be considered arrogant. Don’t worry, you can change yourself, if you wish to.

It is only when we associate with all kinds of people, when we face the harsh realities of life, when we come to know how big the attitudes can be… that we try to tame down our own ego.

We don’t want to be the same kind of persons, we detest!

Ego also gets humbled by the experiences of life, by the unforeseen turbulences, by the behavior of your own dear friends and siblings.

However, some people never try self-analysis, they don’t accept that they are arrogant. They secretly nurse their imperfections and put up a brave front.

1. Arrogant people put up a charade of being strong:

I got an opportunity of peeping into the hearts of such people who think they possess the best brains and can wield their power and authority to intimidate others. Actually they are very weak at heart, they get easily hurt, they hardly have the forbearance to hear even a difference of opinion.

2. They like to control through bullying:

They think bullying can easily scare others and rightly so. Some weak and even mentally strong persons accept subservience due to circumstances or their own compulsions, which reassures the arrogant bullies that they are the bosses and they can accomplish everything through superciliousness.

3. They are emotionally imbalanced:

Arrogance of thoughts and feelings greatly hampers the development of emotional quotient. They don’t believe in emotional attachments, as they don’t want to lose control over others…even their own emotional anchors. They refrain from showing their emotions and therefore their love never comes to the surface.

4. They are very lonely:

Such people pretend to have a lot of friends and even like to surround themselves, all the time with them but they know in their heart of hearts the loneliness, which they face, which they never share with anybody. It is this loneliness, which converts them into bullies. More than hatred, they need our compassion.

5. Aggression and anger are their weapons:

They get easily provoked and can get very aggressive. Anger is their favorite weapon, which they can use very effectively to frighten their victims. They don’t like to give any opportunity to anybody around them to clarify their position. They pounce upon them and can even get physical.

6. Self-love rules them:

They are very self-centered; their obsession of becoming the best and acquiring everything they want, rules their hearts. They never grow out of adolescent self-love. They are very insecure about their closest relationships and don’t like to give them even the basic freedom of expression. They are so much immersed in self-love that the desires and cravings of the other person seem insignificant to them.

7. They feign happiness:

Do you think such people can be happy? They appear to be, as they socialize a lot and like to make a lot of friends but soon all of them see through their behavior and their real self stands exposed. Real happiness eludes them as they leave many emotional scars behind and move ahead, without addressing them.


“The arrogance of men never ceases to amaze me. You all think everything has to do with you, and every woman has to desire you.”—Robert Jordan

Do you know arrogant people? Do you like them? How do you deal with them? I would love to hear your views.

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