Snow Within Us? #Thaw

Snow within us

It may have snowed last night
But I would walk out to meet you
The pebbly path may be slippery
But I can find the footholds to reach you

My snow boots may be old
But they would carry me along
It may be warm here
But I can carry it in my sedulous song

Your heart may be cold
But I would ignite it with the fire
That burns bright within us
The flames that you always admire

The sun may be hidden
But it would shine brighter to thaw
The coldness in and out
Our love can never withdraw

Never at the threat of intruders
Who try to alienate ardent lovers
Who try to accentuate acrimony
In the name of cultural covers.
© Balroop Singh

Inspired from Sue Vincent’s #photoprompt Thaw. Thanks dear friend.

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How Culture Molds Our Personality

cultural conditioning of personality

We may be born with a personality but it is molded by the environment and the social structures we dwell in. It is refined in the cauldron of cultural and social heritage, which affects each and every aspect of our life.

Cultural norms dictate our upbringing as we pick up the beliefs, values, attitudes and prejudices unconsciously from our families, friends, ethnic groups and society.

Early childhood experiences leave a profound impact on our personalities. Closed and conservative societies send a mute message to the child not to explore anything independently, thereby curbing the free spirit, which a child is born with.

Cultural conditioning starts the moment a child is born, the way he is christened, fed, educated and raised.

When the diktats of culture expect a child to follow certain set rules of a society, which fail to distinguish between the aptitudes and aspirations of an individual, which expects all the persons to stay within those boundaries – such families often raise introverts, serious and quiet individuals who are conditioned to be cautious at each step.

They grow up to be huge supporters of tradition and culture that they have imbibed. The chain of thoughts and ideas continue to be passed on to the next generation and that’s how certain redundant traditions continue to thrive.

When we grow up in a free and unrestricted surroundings, where there are no rules for wearing a particular dress or studying a compulsory subject, where swimming lessons are a norm for every child, we develop into original thinkers, independent, analytical, adventurous and determined.

Such persons become natural leaders, with the urge to accomplish all that they can conceive. They have a mind of their own and can never be misled by anti-social elements.

A competitive culture raises extremely ambitious children because the prodding to do better than the challenger in his peer group infuses a spirit of pursuing success aggressively. The enthusiasm to excel gets embedded in their personality.

They become highly successful, practical and conscientious workers. They can inspire many more to be like them.

A creative culture encourages children to develop their own exciting ideas and beliefs. When children are given the liberty to explore their own fun oriented activities, when their minds are not loaded with pre-conceived tasks, discovering and learning becomes a part of their personalities.

Such children grow up to be innovative artists who can be creative as well as idealistic. They are very adaptive, kindhearted and sensitive.Personality

Hardworking culture brings the best out of children and train them at a very early stage to understand the dignity and value of work. Those who grow up with this culture around them tend to respect all kinds of work, are very helpful and cooperative, responsible and reliable.

However they miss on the leisurely aspects of life, as they are always eager to accomplish their goals. Since they are trained by difficult and harsh surroundings, they are highly resilient and flexible. Perseverance and loyalty are the hallmarks of such a personality.

Religious culture gives a distinctive shape to the personality, which has definite leanings towards duty and devotion. Children who are exposed to scriptures and places of worship at a tender age tend to become believers, some of them follow religious decrees blindly and lose their logical and analytical bent of mind. They may be submissive but stand firm with their beliefs, they may be abstemious and compassionate but are very sensitive towards their principles.

Such individuals develop a positive outlook, cultivate self-discipline and are laid back. They drift into their flock and can be easily misled into fanaticism. They can become fiercely active if they are exhorted in the name of religion.

Music culture in the homes produces extremely perceptive and patient individuals. They are driven by emotions; their passion for melody and harmony makes them highly creative. Mundane life doesn’t interest them, as they like to soar with their imagination. They are individualistic and like to follow their intuition.

What kind of personality do you have? Have you been influenced by any such culture? I would love to hear your views.

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Thank you for your support. Please add your valuable comments, they are much appreciated.

Balroop Singh.

 

Do You Believe In Arranged Marriages?

Whosoever invented arranged marriages didn’t have love or sex in mind, as both appear to be more attractive outside a marriage.

An arranged marriage is much more than that…it is a life time commitment through thick and thin, it is like wading into deep waters, knowing well that we may drown if we lose the focus, it is accepting the obligations of not only taking care of the progenies but also the parents of each other and their relatives.

The cultural encumbrances of such a marriage may frustrate you at times but nobody ever thinks of walking out over trivial issues.

All this and much more is revealed in Vishnu’s book.

This post has been inspired from my dearest friend Vishnu’s latest book – ‘Arranged Marriage.’619aWeEo9jL._SX331_BO1,204,203,200_

Marriage may be an ‘over-rated institution’ but all enter into it to taste the bittersweet fruit that it offers.

Why not plan it – asks Vishnu!

Why not give the responsibility of arranging it into the hands of experienced gurus, grandmothers and aunts, who only think of your welfare and happiness.

Vishnu delves deep into the seriousness of marriage as a sacred bond, which can last forever if we tread carefully.

He is immensely focused in this book and presents a superb case for arranged marriages, without actually forcing them down your throat.

He discusses the pros and cons of such a marriage, which is more a union of two families than two persons.

If you wonder how others can prove to be more successful in choosing the right partner for you, then this book is surely for you!

If you have dismissed arranged marriages as obsolete, retrogressive and stifling, then you must read a fresh modern perspective it presents.

You must read it even if you have migrated oversees but would like to pass on your culture and your traditions to your next generation.

This book can be very interesting and informative for those who don’t have any idea about Indian weddings, which are planned most meticulously.

Though I know an arranged marriage very well, having gone through this roller coaster ride most successfully, I still enjoyed reading this book as it incorporates subtle humor to bring out certain solemn details. Despite that, the author does not make fun of any of the age-old traditions, which dissuade many a young couple to go in for an arranged marriage.

This book also took me down the memory lane…

I am reminded of a story, which was a part of high school supplementary reader, and after reading it each year, we had to discuss the basis of marriage.

The youngsters, at the brink of discovering what is love, enjoyed this discussion the most and would come out with the most incredible arguments. Most of them would justify marrying for love and looks. They wanted a free choice, didn’t want to involve a third person and live for love!

Culture and tradition was thrown to the winds at that stage of life and I would always conclude… ‘it is good law doesn’t permit teenage marriage.’

Once the youngsters grow up into mature individuals, they laugh away their adolescent dreams and beliefs and marry, quite willingly according to their parents’ wishes.

Marriage quote

There is no magic wand for a successful marriage. It all depends on your own commitment, forbearance and patience.

Arranged marriage ensures the cultivation of all these virtues to come up to the expectations of family, society and cultural norms.

Fawn Weaver must be having an arranged marriage in mind when he said, “Marriage is like watching the color of leaves in the fall; ever changing and more stunningly beautiful with each passing day.” There cannot be a better analogy than this for an arranged marriage, which matures with time, goes through various stages, sheds its worn out leaves and thrives on hope that fall brings.

I hope you have enjoyed the analysis of this book. There could be another perspective. I would be eager to hear that.

You can grab a free copy at Amazon.com

To pick up Vishnu’s book, Arranged Marriage: Run to the Altar or Run for Your Life, click here. It’s available free on July 20th and July 21st, 2015.

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Thank you for your support. Please add your valuable comments, they are much appreciated.

Balroop Singh.