Why Are Some Human Beings So Vindictive?

Are you vindictive?

You must have heard the infamous refrain ‘an eye for an eye’ or the age-old dictum ‘Tit for Tat’…Revenge has always seemed sweet to most of the people since times immemorial.

Psychologists and researchers believe that human behavior is determined by the genes and the kind of environment we live in. While the role of Nature and Nurture has always been accepted, even the best of upbringing and education couldn’t exterminate the innate vindictiveness of human beings.

It can be discerned in the innocent squabbling of toddlers; it gets sharpened when they grow up to face the competitive world of sports and schooling and slowly it becomes a part of their personality.

Probably the real reason is rooted in the evolution of human race, which had to struggle to survive against all odds and challenging circumstances. In modern times, when people are blessed with all kinds of materialistic and spiritual choices, revenge refuses to slacken its hold on human psyche.

Why? What could be the possible reasons?

Revenge is triggered not just by deceit, infidelity or injustice.

There are very insignificant reasons, which may not seem as trivial as you could presume.

Negative thoughts: Vengefulness could be a reaction to their own negative thoughts, which make people insecure and jealous. Family bickering and rivalries are the best example of such insecurities. When one member of a family becomes successful or is seen to be happy, others step in with their malicious thoughts of creating rifts to grind their own axe and exploit emotions.

Ruining relationships: Jealous people want all the attention, they want to prove they are the most loving and caring and if they find a challenger, they make a surreptitious attempt to alienate your siblings or other relatives by backbiting; by creating such situations which could prove you to be a villain.

It gives momentary pleasure: Revenge seeker has his own reasons, his frustrations and failures for which he holds others around him responsible. Seeing them suffer could give him pleasure. It might even boost his bruised ego. His helplessness in reacting directly could be camouflaged in the façade of goodness. Revenge hurts you also

It assuages anger: Anger, the most illogical and unbridled emotion gets mitigated by revenge. Hurting others and meting out the most unreasonable treatment through their jibes, punitive actions or passive aggression gratifies such avengers.

It proves one’s power: Vindictive people consider themselves to be more powerful. Sometimes they are influential due to the positions they hold. They could be your bosses or colleagues. A disappointed colleague who was eyeing the promotion you got or the boss who has been given a negative feedback may rob you of your peace of mind. Those who want to let you down would derive sadistic pleasure out of such situations.

Insecurities: “Living well is the best revenge,” said George Herbert but vindictive people don’t let you live well! Your living well exposes their own imperfections to them, making them insecure in their heart of hearts.

Have you heard of nemesis? It is the inescapable agent of someone’s or something’s downfall. An agent of natural justice… some people call it “Karma” and believe that whatever goes, comes around and you have to pay for your evil deeds.

Nemesis catches vindictive people sooner or later!

Vengefulness is a negative streak, which can only be addressed by our own inner voice. Like all negative emotions, it does hold some goodness. It acquaints us with our real self. it might lead us to introspection!

Negative emotions are very subtle and deceptive. They absorb more energy but they often walk away victorious, testing our patience and strength, ennobling us, belittling our ego, thereby transforming us into humble human beings.

You can read more about negative emotions and how they help us.

Thank you for reading this. Please add your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.

If you have liked this post, please share it at your favorite social networks.

Balroop Singh.

 

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My New Book Explores The Connection Between Emotions And Relationships

Are you emotionally healthy? Do you take pride in your relationships? Do you nurture your relationships with care? Have you passed the test of stormy weather that keeps knocking at our doors to warn us that relationships are brittle?

Many such questions keep cropping up in our minds.

Some of the answers bring an audacious awakening.

We wish we had known these questions well before facing a break up.

We wish we had the time and maturity to deal with our relationships.

It is human tendency to take all relationships for granted. Probably we pick that up from our basic relationship with our mother whose unaltered and unconditional love never fades.

We forget that relationships need care and attention; they require a constant sprinkling of sentiments to sparkle.

We forget that relationships are connected with emotions and the latter are extremely molten…flowing at will, just like an animate volcano or a stormy sea.

The sea of emotions keeps becoming wider and deeper if we don’t dive in to take stock of what requires attention.

The webby waves entangle us unless we learn to deal with them.

I have been floundering and learning every moment, often on the verge of emotional inhibitions. I have always emerged stronger. I have been sharing my thoughts and emotions with you for almost two years now.

It is time to launch a book on emotions.

emotional truths

Welcome to the launch of my third book.

This book will guide you how you can keep pace with embellishing your thoughts and channelize your emotions, which can be trained to veer into a positive direction.

This book will infuse a new thrill and vitality into all your relationships. Happiness will seem a real possibility.

Healthy relationships depend on emotional quotient and emotional balance, which can be nurtured.

Can we stop the flow and speed of emotions? Can we learn from their radiance, their cheerful bounce, their twists and twirls? This book unravels their depth and resilience in handling the stormy weather, which is knitted into the fabric of all our relationships.

We look around and feel – ‘Nothing is perfect’… dreams get shattered, hopes are belied; aspirations delude and the opportunities elude us. The clouds have the power to conceal the sunshine and our radiance fails to ignite positive thoughts.

This book will answer all those questions; give a new hope to your dreams and usher in a new dawn.

“I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.” – Oscar Wilde

I am sure nobody would like to be at the mercy of anger, impatience and impetuousness, which play havoc with our relationships.

I am sure you would bless me after reading this book as it focuses on appreciation, calmness, emotional resilience and people.

If you have liked to be a part of this launch, please share it at your favorite social networks. I would like my book to reach all your friends.

Please click on the link:

You can download a FREE copy of this book for the next three days – from 14 August 2015 to 16 August 2015, midnight.

Thank you for your support. Please add your valuable comments, they are much appreciated.

Balroop Singh.