Dreams: Beliefs & Superstitions

Today I am emerging from my comfort zone, into which I have slipped lately. When I started blogging, my topics were connected with human emotions and reactions of people. Non-fiction was my favorite genre of writing. 

Then I discovered my niche and got pushed by my muse most of the time. Poetry provided me a soft spot into which I immersed myself completely. I’ve almost abandoned writing about topics of human interest that still draw a lot of traffic to my blog.

This post is inspired from a recent discussion on dreams.

Dreams have remained a mystery yet they are unique experiences that are said to be significant, as they are a manifestation of our desires, feelings and emotions. They could be unexpressed thoughts or ideas that struggle to see the light of the day. My grand daughter says she often dreams that I am staying in her home forever, and asks me if it is possible.

Dreams could be as innocent as that one! 

Or as superstitious as this one: It is believed that morning dreams could be messages or warnings like the dream of a young lady who had an intuition that her husband was stepping into a risky business. She dreamt that he returns from his business trip with gray hair.

A dream that places you in some celebrations is considered to be a bad portent and is associated with potential bereavement in the family. Losing jewelry in such dreams is inauspicious. However, I have many times dreamt that I can’t find my jewelry box or my favorite necklace is missing but I have never faced any adverse effects! Probably some beliefs are so illogical.  

If you meet a dead relative or friend in a dream and you happen to give them something, that is said to be too bad. On the other hand, if they give you a gift, it is good. My aunt told me that her dead father-in law gave her two white pigeons in her dream and later she was blessed with twins.

Never respond to somebody’s call in a dream, that could be a call from heaven or hell!

My grandma refused to discuss a dead relative (a lady she didn’t like) for fear of her visits in her dreams. Whenever we would ask, “Ma, why didn’t you like her?” She always responded,” We’ll discuss that in the morning.”

If you keep returning to the same house in your dreams, it signifies your attachment to it. Probably that is your childhood home or you yearn to be there more often.

Being surrounded by water from all directions in your dreams or whatever route you take, if you are unable to escape, signifies anxiety. Since dreams are made of bits and pieces of our memory that blends past and present, they seem absurd like most of the times when I get surrounded by gushing water, I am riding a bike, which I used only as a teenager. Often I wake up from this recurrent dream, reaching nowhere.

A nightmare that I could never forget is that my car flies off a cliff and lands in a valley but I woke up with the impact.

Lucid dreams are most pleasant and everybody agrees that we can go back to sleep to continue enjoying them.

Some dreams can be as real as this one – whenever I can’t find a clean restroom to pee, I wake up with the realization that I actually need to pee!

In the dreams of my friend, who is an empty nester, her children are still small, running around in her home.

I’ve never noticed color in my dreams. What about you? I hope you have some dreams to share.
© Balroop Singh

Thank you.

Book Readers and Reviewers

When digital devices invaded into our lives and living rooms, people thought books would lose their significance. Debates were organized to discuss and create awareness and a new generation of readers cropped up. Smart phones became their books and that was probably the turning point in the habits of readers.

There are three kinds of book readers.

First are those who read just for pleasure or to pass time. They don’t care to write reviews, as they take a book like a stranger who passes by. Characters don’t inspire them, as they look at them from imaginative perspective. They don’t dwell on their fictitious troubles, which are dismissed the moment they close the book. They don’t have any TBR list and read whatever they come across. They have a few favorite authors though.

Second are those who read a book just to review it. They are fast readers, may even skip many parts of the book, focusing on the elements that could be useful for their review. Emotions can’t sway them; words don’t move them and nuances of life fail to affect them. They can whiz through pages like a wizard; they can read all genres without a word of dissent. They can read multiple books at a time like a ball juggler. I call them super humans, with magical reading and reviewing skills. I envy them but am glad that I have never tried to be like them.

 Then there are readers who approach a book like a friend. They fall in the third category. Reading is an experience for them; they connect with characters, feel the emotion of each one, savor the words and highlight what touches them. They are committed readers, in no hurry to finish a book. They choose their books carefully and don’t like to go outside their genre. Their reviews are critically framed, inclusive of good and bad aspects of author’s style and characterization.

Can you connect with one of these readers or are you a combination of all three?

Book reviews speak for themselves whether they have been written by a quick reader or a thoughtful reader; the former would just summarize a book, without going into finer details or saying anything about characters. They don’t care even if their review contains spoilers. I avoid reading any reviews of the book I pick up, as it is a pleasure to tread unknown paths and meet new people from the comfort of my favorite couch.

Do think giving one or two stars to a book is justified?

Recently I have read ‘Where We Belong’ by Emily Giffin and really liked it. But some reviewers have called it “the most appalling book”. This book has such varied reviews…from one star to five stars! I am astounded by the uncivilized language some of the readers have used while reviewing this book, which deals with emotions and relationships brilliantly.

Reviews acquaint us with our imperfections, if they are honest. They also provide a learning opportunity. I like a bad review too; if it is constructive and offers an in-depth analysis into writing. A good review is like a fragrant breeze that wafts around me for many days, boosting my creative juices.

Thank you for reading this. Please share your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.

If you have liked this post, please share it at your favorite social networks.

Balroop Singh.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When I Met Death…

It was not a perceptual experience or a hallucination nor any feeling of detachment from the body; it was the sensation of being aware that ‘this is the end’…‘its all over.’

There were no questions, no anxiety, no eagerness to save myself; only a strange numbness and acceptance and a refrain ‘its all over.’

Another thought – Oh! My new car…probably this thought hit me before the numbness; not sure.

This was not what researchers call ‘Near-death experience’, according to which there is an awareness of being dead, peace and painlessness surrounded by positive emotions.

Let me reconstruct that moment for you. Intoxicated by the exuberance of youth and the arrogance of driving a new car, one morning when I was going to work, the speed of my car was nearly 80 (I was living in Delhi at that point of time) and it happened to touch the central curb…I don’t know how, probably the demon of driving turned the wheel. He had whispered into my ear a number of times to drive within a safe driving speed but who takes the advice of demons or even well wishers?

Obviously my car flew away and landed after three somersaults. I went completely numb, with only one thought in my mind: Oh… it’s all over!

It was early morning and the traffic was very light at the freeway.

I was amazed at the impact! How could I escape unhurt, just with a few bruises and blood at my face? How could I request the onlookers who offered to take me to hospital to drop me near my home? How could I walk home myself with a bleeding lip and hand? That was the day I started believing in miracles.

All fears evaporated as I had met the ultimate fear. The desires of acquiring material possessions waned considerably. All arrogance melted when I saw my new car in shambles and people refused to believe it had absorbed all the impact. My husband refused to believe that it had somersaulted three times! My mom told me it was the iron used in the car, which could be lucky for me!

This miraculous escape taught me:

• Life doesn’t happen as we plan, it is more like a bubble. It can burst any time, live it with abandon.
• Take out your favorite crystal glasses and use them everyday for whatever drinks you enjoy.
• Plan that dream vacation right now as, tomorrow may never come.
• Communicate what lies in your heart; unexpressed emotions may go with you into your grave any day.
• Face your fears. The power of all fears recede when we learn to encounter them.
• Learn to forgive. The moment we forgive, we feel confident and powerful. It develops and validates our goodness and compassion.
• This fiercely competitive, engulfing world may be waiting to devour us but we have to approach it with calmness.
• Success does not just mean a lot of money and power or the house of your dreams. It is living a meaningful life.
• Savor little moments of joy everyday.
• Feel the gratitude for this blessing called life, which can be snatched any moment.
• Laugh out louder and learn to love people around you.

I was humbled by this experience, I changed, I came back happier, with deeper love for my family and friends. I have lived the bonus years granted to me, with profound gratitude… “For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.” – Khalil Gibran.

Thank you for reading this. Please add your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.

If you have liked this post, please share it at your favorite social networks.
Balroop Singh.

What If Some Experiences Are Not Positive?

Is life so simple? Can we control our experiences?

I stumbled upon the above quote and got a lot of positive energy from it but a thought immediately crossed my mind…what if some experiences are not positive? What if positive feelings are not reciprocated?

All people are not alike. There may be such persons in your life who are always trying to find some reason to irritate you and spread unpleasantness.

Some of them are around us all the time, in the form of our family members or colleagues.

Have you ever given a thought that negative experiences leave a deep impact on us? It is very difficult to forget them whereas positive people just pass by and are easily overlooked or taken for granted.

Life does not remain positive at all times. It is at such a challenging and grim time that positive thoughts lose their track.

This mind is so strange. It also gets distracted from its positive path.

What drives negativity? Why is it so easy to jump into this messy pool?

People! Some people are selfish. They have their own designs; their ulterior motives can never be understood. Some are arrogant, they disseminate negative vibes; they always try to put you down. Some have narcissistic traits; their presence in your life can be quite detrimental. Some are manipulative; they try to exploit your goodness.

I know many such people.

People are like an ocean! Understanding them is like diving into an ocean.

Some deep, some so shallow!

Some never come to the shore some never leave it.

If you are fortunate, you might find a pearl!

Human behavior is quite intriguing, oscillating between darkness and light.

The values, emotions and the virtues are ingrained in human soul but at the same time the vices that ensnare us can easily sway our integrity. Hurts can lead us astray.

Lack of guidance, injustice and disappointments bring out the worst behavior.

Teasing, bullying, violence, intolerance, wreaking vengeance and driving others to take the extreme step of committing suicide in modern societies seems to be an addition to human behavior.

A new negativity? However, it is possible that it lurked there in some other unfamiliar form.

Human behavior has chiefly been influenced by society, culture, region and religion, which has strengthened with time. There have hardly been any significant changes in the core values and ethics that have guided it.

Fear and insecurity may bring some changes in human behavior but only for a short period of time.

Despair and disillusionments follow us everywhere. They also change our behavior. How do we react?

Disappointments often intimidate us but if we keep talking to the hopeful aspect of our mind, if we refuse to let our mind be clogged with the fear of failures, if we embrace the tenacity of our positive spirit, we can strengthen this sentiment and pass it on to our children who exemplify true hope.

Have you ever felt the power of positive spirit?

If disenchantments follow you, learn to cultivate hope, which is an inborn virtue. It lies dormant if it is not nurtured.

Observe a child carefully and you will see an amazing amount of resilience and hope for achieving even the unattainable. A child may fall or fail but the efforts to learn new things never wane. It is the inherent quality of hope and happiness, which keeps children going robustly towards their goal.

As their little feet start growing, hope grows within them. Each step they take, each game they play, this hope becomes sounder.

No child ever thinks of losing. Cynicism is unknown to them. Little failures may dishearten them for a while but they start again with renewed efforts. It is the hope that carries them forward to catch happiness.

Hope fills enthusiasm in their efforts. They look forward to their parents for encouragement and reassurance to accomplish their little goals. When they see happiness on their faces, their spirit soars further. Hence a positive approach and support nurtures hope and happiness.

Hope and happiness are so interconnected!

It is the hope of being successful which leads us to it and happiness follows effortlessly. While conscious efforts are required for all that we hope to accomplish, happiness just meets us on the way to success.

I have had many such experiences, which have shaken my positive spirit but I have always bounced back by convincing myself that this is just a passing phase, by reminding myself that all people are not positive.

What are your reflections about meeting positive people? What impact have they made on you?

If you have liked this article, please share it at your favorite social networks.

Thank you for your support. Please add your valuable comments, they are much appreciated.

Balroop Singh.

Are Memories Timeless Treasures Or Learning Experiences?

Memories are those endless treasures, which we can keep exploring till eternity and bask in their glory like a slow swinging hammock!

Like Ellen Hopkins, let me ‘open that bottle of memories they’re pouring out like wine, crimson and bittersweet.’

We can completely get immersed the moment they start pouring out!

Heartwarming memories, some sweet, some bitter and vivid, long-lasting and precious…unforgettable fond memories, haunt us if we happen to be sensitive as they have a profound connection with our emotions.

Some memories stand before us with extended arms, ready to embrace us lovingly…the first crush, those hands ensconced into each other’s, those amorous glances…that walk in the rain, huddling together…the touch of your new born child, the most precious possession…myriad such moments are stored effortlessly in the mind’s eye.

Happy memories yearn for those times to return, resist and resent change.

Unhappy memories are tenacious, they get entrenched in our minds retaining their ghost like exterior… they can tear us apart with their piercing, menacing eyes.

Repressed memories get embedded in the subconscious mind despite our best efforts to shove them out.

Sometimes I have to close that inward eye to stop the reel of memories so that they bounce back into the subconscious mind.

Sometimes I hear those loud voices…let go…forget the past…detach, I dump all those memories and choose only joyous ones yet they keep returning whenever the connection emerges.

One of my colleagues had a magical eraser, which didn’t leave any mark on the sheet. Sometimes I wish such an eraser could be invented to expunge unwanted memories from our memory bank!

Have you ever thought why certain memories keep coming back?

Have you ever wondered why certain facts, songs, statements or situations can be recalled without any effort whereas important information or textual details have to be read again and again to recollect them?

Psychologists have called the former as implicit memory and the latter as explicit memory

It is this memory, which is called implicit that holds our moments…moments of delight, of exhilaration, of accomplishment, of pride and countless such emotional instants.

We hold them in high esteem, clutch them as if they were the only possessions worth keeping and derive pleasure out of them during our hours of solitude. We keep interacting with them till we realize their material nature.

They come with a large baggage, which we refuse to give up!

“Forgetting isn’t enough. You can paddle away from the memories and think they are gone. But they will keep floating back, again and again and again. They circle you, like sharks.” – Sara Zarr

They also come with some profound lessons if we are ready to discern and digest:

• Childhood memories are the strongest reminders of love and affection. Handle children with care.
• Don’t invest all your emotions in one person. Memories of such a person can drain you.
• Attachments are aching reminders of fond memories.
• Dwelling in the past is futile as it retrieves painful memories.
• All people we meet leave an impact on our life. Avoid negative people as much as you can.
• Memorable people affect us deeply with their qualities. They give us good memories.
• Earliest happy memories convey life-lessons of happiness and relaxation, which are picked up from parents and siblings.

Memories are like roses of various hues in their raw form, thorns are the natural attachments unless we scratch them away. I have embraced all the shades and tones and learnt from each one of them. I had no choice.

During the prime of our life we keep gathering them, unaware of the thistles, which start piercing us as we mature.

I have a very vivid childhood memory of a thorn, which pricked me, broke and got embedded in my finger. I came running to my mom, crying and wondering whether she could lessen my pain. She pulled the thorn out mercilessly, without caring to be soft.

I wish this memory too could have been pulled out as harmlessly as that thorn!

But memories are etched permanently on the canvas of our mind.

Do you have such memories? Have they been your learning experiences? I would love to hear your views.

If you have liked this article, please share it at your favorite social networks.

Thank you for your support. Please add your valuable comments, they are much appreciated.

Balroop Singh.