Why Most Men Develop Cold Feet Over Emotional Issues

Men and emotionsMen are most enthusiastic to woo a woman, they try to please her in every possible way, show how cultured and chivalrous they are and are ready to cross all the bridges to win her trust.

Once they succeed and feel that they have the commitment and the comfort of a home, they withdraw, try to find pleasure in other activities and may even drift into the arms of another woman.

Emotions and relationships don’t move them or they pretend so!

They hide behind stereotype:

They don’t try to come out of the closet and love to dwell in the age-old traditional mold created for them, by the society. They have been told ‘to be a man.’ They take pride in that role assigned to them ages ago. Man, you have to move with the changing times! You have to open your heart. Emotions are easier than science or space. If women can learn both why can’t you?

They don’t share their fears:

It goes against male ego to admit that something scares them. They feel threatened by the strength and power of women, more so in the modern set up. The emotional quotient and resilience of their partner is intimidating and they try to diminish it by exhibiting their control. In some cases it goes beyond that and it comes out in the form of anger, their most loved emotion!

They evade family bonds:

Most of the bonding with the extended family is nurtured by women. Men like to sit and bask in the glory of family get together, without caring for the food to be served, the gifts to be given and the pleasing talk to be shared. They can easily learn all this but they don’t make an effort. Such an attitude affects the next generation too.

Emotional upheavals shatter them:

They lack the ability to process emotions in a positive manner. They thrive on negative emotions like anger, aggression and denial. It is not true that they don’t feel the loss or the rejection. They don’t want to accept and admit that they are upset. They want to handle their grief in their own manner, which isolates them. When you hide your emotions, it takes a longer time to emerge out of anguish.


They don’t want confrontation:

They avoid an argument because they know they won’t be able to carry it forward. The moment they are asked a personal question like ‘why are you so quiet’, ‘what is perturbing you?’ They draw into their shell, which makes them emotionally aloof. Men don’t like to give explanations; don’t like to discuss; they just know how to give orders. Even those who don’t give orders and are gentle by nature are less expressive.

They wear a mask:

They are emotionally challenged but don’t like criticism. Isn’t it strangely paradoxical? Even a random inadvertent comment can hurt them but they pretend to be okay. They learn to live with hypocrisy and are adept at wearing different masks for different occasions. They don’t want to accept that they need to learn emotional language. They are more comfortable with texting than looking into your eyes to say what they want.

They consider expression of emotions a ‘Drama’:

Emotionally expressive persons are dubbed as ‘drama queens’ and are often ignored. Men make no effort to understand why emotional outbursts become uncontrollable, why tears flow spontaneously and how much of truth is there in such emotions. I have seen boys more expressive till adolescence sets in and then they start learning the clichés and concealing true emotions.

They don’t want to show their true colors:

Emotional insecurity keeps them guarded and some of them can lie to keep their feelings under wraps. If you try to dig deeper, they may burst out saying ‘you are interrogating!’ They are scared of blurting out something they might regret later. Their primitive image of a protector and a provider still follows them. It is reinforced by mothers who take pride in raising domineering sons.

Disclaimer: The above observations are based on my own experiences and understanding. There could be exceptions as there always are.

If you know any such exceptional men or you are the one, I would love to hear your views.

If you have ever made an effort to learn more about emotions and how to share them, you are most welcome to discuss them here.

Thank you for reading this. Your support is immensely appreciated.

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Balroop Singh.

Pangs Of Change

Relationships never endRelationships
They take a new turn,
They move on…
Each relationship suffers
The pangs of inadvertent change

Change we all like yet distrust
A change initiated by us,
By our own loved ones
For those who grow dearer…
Forgetting former bonds

New perspectives, newer attitudes
Lead to shrinking of close ties
A slice of life drifts away
When they try to hide
What their voices betray

A heart-wrenching abyss of estrangement
Forms unintentionally
Long nurtured ties weaken
As people around you seem to change
Confused, you too may falter!

The hypocrisy of endearing words
Becomes hard to swallow
When the true emotions have melted
A look of disbelief, lingers
A stoic acceptance, the only choice!

Ah! the amiable attribute of acceptance
It calms all the emotions and keeps us grounded!

© Balroop Singh.

You can click on Sublime Shadows of Life by Balroop Singh to read more such poems.

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Thank you for your support. Please add your valuable comments, they are much appreciated.


An apostle of care and compassion
Born to nurture with patience and passion
She fills the world with color and candor
She rocks the cradle and rules the hearts.

A combination of dew and dove
She spreads the fragrance of selfless love
Who never ceases to be affectionate
She is the sunshine of our days.

Her tender touch heals and charms
A true analyzer, with her composure she calms
An intuitive listener, she understands all
What people aspire, she attains with a smile.

The power she possesses is unseen
A Goddess of love, with observation keen
Who inculcates harmony and faith
She strengthens our family bonds.


 This poem is an excerpt from my book ‘Sublime Shadows Of Life’ (available at Amazon.com)

You can just click on http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EBLWR0A to read more.

If you have liked this poem, please share it at your favorite social networks.

This picture, which I found online seems to be a perfect blend of love, care and happiness of a mother and a child. I am sharing it for another reason…the definition of mom, it presents, is one of the BEST, not to miss the lovely smiles that tugged at my heart! HAPPY MOTHERS’ DAY!