When Grief Transports You Back…

friendsLast week I received shocking news, which transported me back into time…those pleasant days of sitting for hours in the company of friends, those carefree moments that seemed to suggest life is blissful. We basked in its glory, oblivious of the fact that we would go our own way, get busy with the nuances of life only to meet occasionally and that too if we made special efforts to synchronize our visits to our home city.

Time is ephemeral, but we keep drifting back into it whenever it exhibits its tyranny!

This tyrant snatched away those insouciant moments we still treasure. Ironically… it brings back those whiffs of friendly fragrance more at such times of bereavement.

Happier times pass by complacently, with the thoughts that all is well and we have all the time in the world to meet.

Could we ever imagine that a day will come when we would be far away from each other, yearning to be together in the grief of one of us?

Could we ever reflect that we would be placed thousands of miles away and the word ‘friendship’ would stand before us in a questioning mode?

Could we ever think that one of our most effervescent and vivacious friends would be the first one to face the biggest setback of life…losing her husband and that too at such a stage when life starts afresh?

I always thought that I have become impervious to setbacks, having the experience of facing them since childhood but each one brings new emotions and memories. This one jolted me out of my illusionary world of thinking ‘everyone has to go and so must I.’

I often say I am ready to go, unmindful of the sentiments of my dear ones. I preach selflessness but in the process forget certain emotions that are vital to heart despite detachment. Today these emotions are hitting me hard from a new angle. They remind me that detachment is a mere word…a delusion to keep us occupied to deal with the struggles and realities of this world.

friends

Real detachment is painful and the laceration never heals as it is eternal…it is like amputating one part of the body.

Recently I came across an interesting perspective about time – “Time does not heal, it just teaches us how to live with the pain.” This outlook appealed to me and as I look back, I nod to myself how true it is as time has blurred my agony and hurts and I have learnt to live with them.

I know my wishful thinking can never put us in the same boat of blissful friendship we shared but we can provide solace with our words. We cannot bridge the distances but we can be with each other in spirit.

As I grieve over the loss and loneliness of my dear friend, the words of a famous poet come to my mind: “If moments were birds, I could have caged them, nurtured them with care, fed them with pearls and kept them close to my heart…”

Moments do get entrapped in our hearts and we can revisit them through our “inward eye.”

“A friend is what the heart needs all the time.” Henry Van Dyke

‘The greatest gift of life is friendship’…Have you received it?

Thank you for reading this amalgamation of emotions. Please add your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.

If you have liked this real story, please share it at your favorite social networks.

Balroop Singh.

 

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My Friend ‘Five’ Still Loves Me Despite My Dislike For Her

Beauty of dawn

There was a time when “Five” was my dearest friend or a compulsive pal…she always chimed in as a loud, musical buddy, trying to remind me that I couldn’t survive without her, I would deeply regret if I disregarded her and therefore I had to share my steaming cup of tea with her.

No longer so! I dumped and divorced her and found my freedom. She continued to arrive even when I snapped off the musical chords she loved. I know I was callous but I had found another friend – ‘Eight’ who believed in liberation, who accosted and accompanied me into all those cool corridors of the dream world.

I owe a deep gratitude towards my dear friend “Five” for making me what I am today, for all those reflections she shared, all those words of caution she spilled around me and the plans she made for me to keep myself and my family happy and healthy, providing me with enough time to step outside and walk in the beauty of the first rays of the sun before I could rush to my work.

Isn’t that what we expect from friends? A true companion, who gave priority to my needs, caressed me when my limbs refused to leave the comfort of bed, reminding me that the moment I move my butt, I would be happier!

She taught me forbearance, calmness and patience. She walked hand in hand with me to the milestone of punctuality, acquainted me with the virtue called self-discipline. She impressed upon me the value of time but I detested her each morning for coming too early, yearning to shun her. She was quite understanding, as she gave me a breather on weekends!

I appreciate her noble nature as she still comes uninvited with her reminders, pulling me out to gaze at the eastern horizon, inspiring me to lift the pen that I pick up at will, motivating me to record those lovely moments of mesmerizing meetings, minutes of which gleam in my poetry.

‘Eight’ has relieved me of all my worries, time crumbles at his feet and he takes me into self-appointed hours of joy…the grace that I have acquired in his company is inimitable, the emotions that he acquainted me with are exquisite…he doesn’t believe in accelerating the pace of the day…the serenity with which he moves forward is unparalleled.

The soft soliloquies of ‘Eight’ endow me with the elegance of moving forward. He shows me how to slow down, let go and detach discreetly.

My oldest friends joy and woe visit me quite less now because happiness wields all the power in my home. Their dissonance started due to the demanding nature of joy and it often clashed with the calmness of happiness. I also like her, as she possesses the potential to drive away agony, angst and fear.

Now I hang out with “Eight” and “Happiness” and let their nuances color my thoughts. They hold a strange power to guide me, the comfort of their company steers me into the positive corridors of life.

“Five” knows I have forgotten her but she continues to bestow her blessings on me by visiting me whenever I need her, whenever I lack inspiration and those are the times I get up early from my bed even now.

Goodness is forgotten so easily! Indifference and hatred distress us forever!

Forgiveness is so hard whereas goodness doesn’t even come to our mind when we think of one mean act of somebody. We need reminders for invoking amity and altruism.My friend Five

“Five” continues to shimmer in my heart albeit I dislike her placement on the clock. I know her friendship with me grew warmer only due to that placement!

“They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.” – Andy Warhol

Do you like waking up early in the morning?

Thank you for reading this. Please share your valuable reflections.

If you have liked this article, please share it at your favorite social networks.

Balroop Singh.

The Bliss Of Blogging…Just For Spreading My Creative Wings

Faith in words & emotions

Blogging can be fun when you don’t have any specific goals, when you can smile at yourself with the thought…Oh! Today’s post is still in a limbo.

Blogging opens magnificent avenues of communication and conversation if you can play with words.

Blogging nurtures our thoughts and ideas and can be creative as well as cathartic.

Blogging introduces us to like-minded persons whom we may not have met but there develops a bonding beyond friendship.

This friendship is strengthened with words…words that define us, that introduce us to each other, that lift us out of the mundane into our splendid world of imagination.

I am holding back today’s scheduled post as I am basking in the glory of one such blogger friend.

There was a time when my blog was more like a ghost villa, my own words wandering here and there aimlessly, always smiling at each other.

They were the friendly ghosts, waiting to welcome, to befriend warm-hearted writers who could appreciate the humble efforts of an aspiring artist who loved to paint with words, who carried emotions on her sleeve and could only write poetry.

Little did she know that this genre is no longer read and more so in the blogosphere, which held pro bloggers in high esteem.

She started writing prose too, learnt to elaborate on ideas albeit poetry remained her favorite form of writing.

Slowly the ghost villa got lit up with wonderful blogger friends, poets and authors whose brilliance sparkles on the pages of Emotional Shadows in the form of their reflections that they share.

I value each one of you and would like to express my gratitude for being here. I cherish your friendship and support and look forward to an emotional bonding, which gets stronger with time.

Today’s words of appreciation are inspired by one such author friend Joe Perrone Jr. who even invited me over to his own blog. I am thrilled beyond words and would like you to join me in my moments of delight.

Please click on the following link to walk out of the shadows into the glow of my friend’s brilliance:

https://joetheauthor.wordpress.com/2016/04/23/out-from-the-shadows-and-into-your-heart/

HAPPY READING. Please share your views. Thank you

Balroop Singh.

One-Year Journey…And It Continues!

First Anniversary

I shall be completing one year of blogging this week and so far this flight on the wings of words has been the most pleasant one. It has given me those precious moments of creative relaxation, which I had always yearned for in my extremely busy hours of life.

It was never on my mind that I would write a blog one day or I had so many moods, emotions and words to express my feelings. A person of few words, I always found poetry a more suitable genre of expression.

When I took the plunge, it was more out of impulse.

The number of blogs and the competition bewildered me.

Yet I found some calm and complacent bloggers, who find pleasure just in writing and guiding. They have been my biggest encouragement.

The Enticement:

My journey started one fine day when I stumbled upon a very inspiring blog and the beautiful reflections were so appealing that I couldn’t resist the temptation to share my thoughts. I am referring to:

IMG_Sandra_Outside-Croppedhttp://alwayswellwithin.com, managed by my loving, spiritual friend Sandra Pawula writer, teacher, and champion of mindfulness and ease. She helps people who are willing to think deeply and look within to find peace, happiness and freedom.

Her articles have the magic to transport you into her company, give you the privilege of basking in her spiritual journey, flow slowly with her enchanting words and feel… all is well, all around us and within us! She has truly changed so much within me, with her words. No words of gratitude are enough for her as she helped me discover an unknown aspect of my personality.

How I learnt to blog:

Ramsay_Blog_TyrantOne day, while reading one of the articles at her blog, I came across a comment by www.Blogtyrant.com and got inquisitive. I visited this blog and his inspiring words were so infectious that they infused a new wave of confidence in me. I felt that I too could learn to blog. His step-by-step guidelines and advice was so effective and encouraging that I was actually able to create this platform to give vent to my emotions. No wonder his blog is amazingly busy! Thank you Ramsey for revealing all the tech jargon in a very simple language.

I found the music of my soul here:

W3WpGsaA_400x400http://positiveprovocations.com totally draped and swathed with positivity, always living up to its name, Zeenat Merchant Syal is the zeenat (glory) of this blog, which is her ‘little piece of Heaven.’

She strives for a happier, more loving and positive world in and around her. She inspires and motivates her readers to be the best and the happiest. She is a practicing counseling psychologist, spiritual counselor, motivational speaker, naturopath, holistic healer and a writer.

Zeenat’s mesmerizing words of robust optimism and tenacious positivity impel you to visit her the moment she updates her blog. Her soft and gentle nudge awakens you out of your slumber to realize that with loving care, positive thoughts and actions everything can be achieved, personally as well as professionally.

And I found the wings:

Harleena-SinghBy now I had learnt the tricks of hopping from one blog to another and I came across an amazing friend, Harleena, ‘the Queen Blogger’ and for the first time I saw that blogs could be so organized and blogging can be a serious business.

www.aha-now.com, a haven of personal development and self-improvement is managed by Harleena, who is a positive thinker, a freelance writer and benevolent beyond belief. She loves to write inspiring and thought provoking posts on family, relationships, health, and myriad other aspects of life. She is an anchor for all those who want to solve the problems of their life in a realistic manner. No wonder her popularity in the blogosphere is unparalleled. Her unstinted support has given wings to ‘Emotional Shadows.’

My first steadfast friend:

Mike-And-Phoenix-About-Me-Pic-300x300He visited my blog when I didn’t have any friends; when I was still stumbling and wavering, when I didn’t know how to build up communications. I am extremely thankful to Mike and Phoenix, for being an embodiment of genuine friendship. I value it immensely.

Mike Vogler of http://pastmycurfew.com, who calls himself ‘a night owl’, has been my first committed friend and follower who always encouraged me with his thoughtful words. His son and soul mate, Phoenix, his golden retriever, who activated his energies, watched him with the most sensuous expression in his eyes when he sits at his keyboard, writing about places he’d like to visit, food he’d like to eat, and reflecting on the crazy things that happen in his life. His pictures speak more than his words! The food he cooks and the way he enjoys his cooking can beat the best of chefs! Phoenix, his most doting confidante always looked at him as if to ask why he is so passionate about every little detail and why he keeps writing so late at night!

Sadly Phoenix was snatched away recently by the callous monster – cancer, though both Phoenix and Mike fought fiercely against it.

How I learnt to communicate in blogosphere:

BlogPostPhotoThrough aha-now.com, I found another wonderful friend, Adrienne Smith – ‘the Engagement Superstar’…the Empress of Cordiality… and a totally new world unfolded before me when I visited www.adriennesmith.net. As soon as I signed up for her newsletter, I realized how communications are built. Her warmth can leap up to you through her words and her altruistic outlook can infuse a new spirit into your thoughts. She thinks she was born to help people and they keep streaming into her blog to learn how to be successful, how to build such an engaging community, why she has so many return visitors to her blog.

Then I met the Wisdom Guru!

b363bb323060b10dab99bbb2876abaafI would also like to express my deepest gratitude to Vishnu, of http://www.vishnusvirtues.com – an online wisdom-filled sanctuary. I was attracted to his site due to the unique name and was not disappointed! True to his name he is not only providing enlightenment and support to all those who get in touch with him but also preserving all that can be salvaged from their broken dreams to bring clarity and purpose to their life.

Vishnu speaks from his heart and his words always touch your soul. The pearls of his wisdom have been recorded in the annals of ‘Emotional Shadows’ too.

I have met many more wonderful friends like you and so my journey continues with the support of each one of you and all those silent admirers who visit my humble abode of creativity.

I look forward to the support of each one of you. Your feedback is a valuable asset; please keep contributing your insights.

If you have liked this article, please share it at your favorite social networks.

Balroop Singh

 

Friendship: Why Are Some Friends So Special?

friendship013

The word ‘friendship’ has trailed me since childhood. I could never find a satisfactory definition of this word. More than friends, I have been fascinated by the charisma of this word – ‘friendship.’

I don’t have any memories of childhood friends and often wonder – did I have any friends? I remember I could never take an initiative to walk up to a person and say something.

I always waited, thinking…do they like me? Will they be friends with me?

Probably I was an introvert, though I didn’t know the meaning of this word at that time. Even now, I have a few friends whom I can count on my fingertips.

Probably my definition of friendship is different.

“Friends are our second selves.”– Aristotle

WHY DO WE NEED ‘OUR SECOND SELVES’?

In childhood as we realize the need of companionship, we like to be with our friends to play, to feel happy, to connect, to share and we learn from them. We realize that there is actually another self, within us, which we need to discover.

In adolescence –

  • Friends play an important role in our growth
  • They become our emotional anchors
  • Help us feel confident
  • Improve our habits and behavior
  • Increase our awareness
  • Help in defining our goals
  • Develop competitive spirit
  • Challenge our strengths
  • Inspire us
  • Bring the best out of us.

There are many kinds of friends and we need all of them like the colors of a rainbow. Some provide fun and joy while others are like deep indigo, absorbing all our secrets, all the worries that we share and steer us into the brighter hues. They make us see how beautiful life is!

As adults – when we mature and move on with life, many friends are abandoned either due to circumstances or different direction that our life takes. At this stage of life we realize the worth of real friends, who adhere to us, despite all odds.

WHY ARE SOME FRIENDS SO SPECIAL?Friends

I believe we all have such friends, who hold an exceptional place in our life. We think of them in our moments of joy, more so when we are in a dilemma, when we need an advice and we know that they would be there to help.

The emotions that bind us are so inexplicable that even we fail to fathom them. Such a bonding develops slowly, over the years and gets so cemented that people marvel at its strength.

There are some unique qualities, which such friends possess:

They love unconditionally:

Like mother’s love, they never hold back anything; they never raise any questions. Real friends don’t have any expectations – they just value friendship. Their affection comes from the heart; it flows naturally like a waterfall. They never doubt your intentions even when they are instigated against you.

They pick up the vibes:

They don’t need to be told that you are distressed or disturbed. They just look into your eyes and know that you need them. They can read your heart, understand your anguish and provide succor with their touch. Their soothing words can relieve all your worries. Such friends may be very rare to find but fortunately I have seen them.

They are consistent:

They don’t change with the seasons of life. They don’t have excuses when you call them. They are so steadfast and trustworthy that people may gape at their sincerity! They uphold the old values propounded by Socrates: “Be slow to fall into friendship, but when you are in, continue firm and constant.”

They have invincible faith in you:

They don’t need to check what others say about you because they know you and believe their gut feeling. They stand by you when you need them the most, when all others abandon you under some kind of pressure or fear. You can call them at midnight, without any qualms.

They criticize you:

Real friends possess the power to point out your weaknesses. They say what is true and not just nod their heads in affirmation when you need to be corrected. They don’t hesitate in saying what might hurt you because they know how significant their words are for you. They can mold you into a positive person.

They really listen and understand:

You can share the most frightful secrets of your life with them and still feel at ease. They don’t have any pretensions, would never betray your trust or let you down. They may not have a word of wisdom to erase those memories but they surely lighten your burden.

Now the question is – how do you know you have such a friend?

The answer lies in your heart. If you can be such a person, you surely have such a friend. How aptly has George Herbert answered: “The best mirror is an old friend.”

I dedicate this post to my old friends, who have always stood by me, provided me encouragement to go on unwavering, with head above all the storms and hurricanes of life.

Have you got such friends? How did you meet them? I would love to hear your views.

If you have liked this article, please share it at your favorite social networks.

Thank you for your support. Please add your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.

Balroop Singh.

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