When Grief Transports You Back…

friendsLast week I received shocking news, which transported me back into time…those pleasant days of sitting for hours in the company of friends, those carefree moments that seemed to suggest life is blissful. We basked in its glory, oblivious of the fact that we would go our own way, get busy with the nuances of life only to meet occasionally and that too if we made special efforts to synchronize our visits to our home city.

Time is ephemeral, but we keep drifting back into it whenever it exhibits its tyranny!

This tyrant snatched away those insouciant moments we still treasure. Ironically… it brings back those whiffs of friendly fragrance more at such times of bereavement.

Happier times pass by complacently, with the thoughts that all is well and we have all the time in the world to meet.

Could we ever imagine that a day will come when we would be far away from each other, yearning to be together in the grief of one of us?

Could we ever reflect that we would be placed thousands of miles away and the word ‘friendship’ would stand before us in a questioning mode?

Could we ever think that one of our most effervescent and vivacious friends would be the first one to face the biggest setback of life…losing her husband and that too at such a stage when life starts afresh?

I always thought that I have become impervious to setbacks, having the experience of facing them since childhood but each one brings new emotions and memories. This one jolted me out of my illusionary world of thinking ‘everyone has to go and so must I.’

I often say I am ready to go, unmindful of the sentiments of my dear ones. I preach selflessness but in the process forget certain emotions that are vital to heart despite detachment. Today these emotions are hitting me hard from a new angle. They remind me that detachment is a mere word…a delusion to keep us occupied to deal with the struggles and realities of this world.

friends

Real detachment is painful and the laceration never heals as it is eternal…it is like amputating one part of the body.

Recently I came across an interesting perspective about time – “Time does not heal, it just teaches us how to live with the pain.” This outlook appealed to me and as I look back, I nod to myself how true it is as time has blurred my agony and hurts and I have learnt to live with them.

I know my wishful thinking can never put us in the same boat of blissful friendship we shared but we can provide solace with our words. We cannot bridge the distances but we can be with each other in spirit.

As I grieve over the loss and loneliness of my dear friend, the words of a famous poet come to my mind: “If moments were birds, I could have caged them, nurtured them with care, fed them with pearls and kept them close to my heart…”

Moments do get entrapped in our hearts and we can revisit them through our “inward eye.”

“A friend is what the heart needs all the time.” Henry Van Dyke

‘The greatest gift of life is friendship’…Have you received it?

Thank you for reading this amalgamation of emotions. Please add your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.

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Balroop Singh.

 

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My Friend ‘Five’ Still Loves Me Despite My Dislike For Her

Beauty of dawn

There was a time when “Five” was my dearest friend or a compulsive pal…she always chimed in as a loud, musical buddy, trying to remind me that I couldn’t survive without her, I would deeply regret if I disregarded her and therefore I had to share my steaming cup of tea with her.

No longer so! I dumped and divorced her and found my freedom. She continued to arrive even when I snapped off the musical chords she loved. I know I was callous but I had found another friend – ‘Eight’ who believed in liberation, who accosted and accompanied me into all those cool corridors of the dream world.

I owe a deep gratitude towards my dear friend “Five” for making me what I am today, for all those reflections she shared, all those words of caution she spilled around me and the plans she made for me to keep myself and my family happy and healthy, providing me with enough time to step outside and walk in the beauty of the first rays of the sun before I could rush to my work.

Isn’t that what we expect from friends? A true companion, who gave priority to my needs, caressed me when my limbs refused to leave the comfort of bed, reminding me that the moment I move my butt, I would be happier!

She taught me forbearance, calmness and patience. She walked hand in hand with me to the milestone of punctuality, acquainted me with the virtue called self-discipline. She impressed upon me the value of time but I detested her each morning for coming too early, yearning to shun her. She was quite understanding, as she gave me a breather on weekends!

I appreciate her noble nature as she still comes uninvited with her reminders, pulling me out to gaze at the eastern horizon, inspiring me to lift the pen that I pick up at will, motivating me to record those lovely moments of mesmerizing meetings, minutes of which gleam in my poetry.

‘Eight’ has relieved me of all my worries, time crumbles at his feet and he takes me into self-appointed hours of joy…the grace that I have acquired in his company is inimitable, the emotions that he acquainted me with are exquisite…he doesn’t believe in accelerating the pace of the day…the serenity with which he moves forward is unparalleled.

The soft soliloquies of ‘Eight’ endow me with the elegance of moving forward. He shows me how to slow down, let go and detach discreetly.

My oldest friends joy and woe visit me quite less now because happiness wields all the power in my home. Their dissonance started due to the demanding nature of joy and it often clashed with the calmness of happiness. I also like her, as she possesses the potential to drive away agony, angst and fear.

Now I hang out with “Eight” and “Happiness” and let their nuances color my thoughts. They hold a strange power to guide me, the comfort of their company steers me into the positive corridors of life.

“Five” knows I have forgotten her but she continues to bestow her blessings on me by visiting me whenever I need her, whenever I lack inspiration and those are the times I get up early from my bed even now.

Goodness is forgotten so easily! Indifference and hatred distress us forever!

Forgiveness is so hard whereas goodness doesn’t even come to our mind when we think of one mean act of somebody. We need reminders for invoking amity and altruism.My friend Five

“Five” continues to shimmer in my heart albeit I dislike her placement on the clock. I know her friendship with me grew warmer only due to that placement!

“They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.” – Andy Warhol

Do you like waking up early in the morning?

Thank you for reading this. Please share your valuable reflections.

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Balroop Singh.

When You Meet An Author And Discover A Paragon Of Friendship…

Friendship quote

I have always been an introvert, probably because of the protective environment in which I was encased as a child and a teenager. I have been never good at making friends and after a particular age I just gave up!

My earliest memory of trying to make friends is that of trying to help everyone with their homework. There were many shirkers who would come to our class without doing their homework and I would offer to do it for them!

Then I had to change my school and was at sea, sitting alone in one corner when this girl (who later became my best friend) approached me with a question…friend, what is your name?

What an easy way to make friends, I thought but I could never learn it.

I have a very limited number of friends and I can count them on my fingers but I can proudly declare that they are my true friends; I can fall back on them and they would respond immediately.

Digital world has been a blessing for me! I found it so easy to make friends online and I have made some wonderful friends. Thinking of meeting them has been out of my imaginative expanse.

Sometimes reality knocks at our imaginative ingresses louder!

One such doorway opened last week when I met Joe and his vivacious wife Becky.

IMG_3044
Joe with his lovely wife Becky

Joe Perrone Jr. met me through his blog and I liked his witty style of writing…more so as he took pleasure in laughing at himself.

I didn’t even know where he lived till I happened to mention that I would be visiting Asheville. A few instant clicking of our digital devices and there we were…face to face, shaking hands, sharing lunch and ice-creams along with never ending conversation, which was as vibrant as dear Becky!

Joe asked me are you ba..roop, I replied BaLroop, with a stress on L! And the laughter that cheered our hearts still encompasses me.

Earlier, when I told my husband that we were going to meet one of my blogger friends, he said ‘what would you talk’…oh we would see, said I, almost to myself and convinced him that it would be fun. Indeed it was!

I didn’t have to think what to talk as the conversation flowed so spontaneously that we forgot we had met for the first time…it was like meeting old friends after a long time and catching up with all the stories we had to share.

Never was there an awkward moment, which we often face when we meet an acquaintance. Not a word appeared out of place. I give all the credit to my dear friends Joe and Becky and their art of conversation.

Many topics were discussed, the most interesting being how he met his wife Becky, the prettiest and the most charming face, having the brightest eyes behind those spectacles.

That day I carried some profound lessons in my heart:

  • Friendship is not counted in the number of years we spend together but the mirthful moments of delight it offers us.
  • Friendship evokes your inner virtues through honest conversation.
  • Friendships can never diminish by distance.
  • Some gifts are such, which only we can give to ourselves.

friendship

Thank you for reading this. Please share your valuable reflections about your friends.

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Balroop Singh.

 

 

The Bliss Of Blogging…Just For Spreading My Creative Wings

Faith in words & emotions

Blogging can be fun when you don’t have any specific goals, when you can smile at yourself with the thought…Oh! Today’s post is still in a limbo.

Blogging opens magnificent avenues of communication and conversation if you can play with words.

Blogging nurtures our thoughts and ideas and can be creative as well as cathartic.

Blogging introduces us to like-minded persons whom we may not have met but there develops a bonding beyond friendship.

This friendship is strengthened with words…words that define us, that introduce us to each other, that lift us out of the mundane into our splendid world of imagination.

I am holding back today’s scheduled post as I am basking in the glory of one such blogger friend.

There was a time when my blog was more like a ghost villa, my own words wandering here and there aimlessly, always smiling at each other.

They were the friendly ghosts, waiting to welcome, to befriend warm-hearted writers who could appreciate the humble efforts of an aspiring artist who loved to paint with words, who carried emotions on her sleeve and could only write poetry.

Little did she know that this genre is no longer read and more so in the blogosphere, which held pro bloggers in high esteem.

She started writing prose too, learnt to elaborate on ideas albeit poetry remained her favorite form of writing.

Slowly the ghost villa got lit up with wonderful blogger friends, poets and authors whose brilliance sparkles on the pages of Emotional Shadows in the form of their reflections that they share.

I value each one of you and would like to express my gratitude for being here. I cherish your friendship and support and look forward to an emotional bonding, which gets stronger with time.

Today’s words of appreciation are inspired by one such author friend Joe Perrone Jr. who even invited me over to his own blog. I am thrilled beyond words and would like you to join me in my moments of delight.

Please click on the following link to walk out of the shadows into the glow of my friend’s brilliance:

https://joetheauthor.wordpress.com/2016/04/23/out-from-the-shadows-and-into-your-heart/

HAPPY READING. Please share your views. Thank you

Balroop Singh.

Why Arrogant People Don’t Have Friends…

Arrogance

This is my third post on Arrogance, which is inspired from organic traffic.

This word – ‘Arrogance’ is detested by all due to the negative energy it carries but we all like to know more about its aspects and dimensions. Have you read how it can harm our personality?

Arrogance leads you into a self-created glittering world, making you the protagonist of those realms and the throne that feeds your ego is placed at a higher pedestal. It is very difficult to look at others with compassion and love when you gaze from that exalted throne.

Self-love dominates your thoughts and all those around you appear to be your friends and admirers.

Arrogance dwells in such a shallow zone where relationships do not hold any relevance. So friendship and arrogance can never move hand in hand.

Self-importance guides arrogance:

You have to step down from that platform of superciliousness to befriend people but your haughty nature doesn’t let you step down. You think you have a lot of friends and indeed you can see yourself surrounded by many people.

Admirers can never be your true friends. They would surround you till you entertain them, party with them and let your money flow freely for their benefit.

Arrogance detests emotions:

The only emotions that seem to be of any importance to arrogant persons are those, which concern them. If they have been snubbed at some stage of life, they carry that pain in their heart forever. If they have not been treated justly, they would call the whole humanity unjust. When they hide their true emotions from their friends, the latter can understand their demeanor.

Arrogance doesn’t trust anybody:Arrogance quote

Trust is the main plank of true friendship but arrogant people are always on their guard. Their relationships remain superficial. They fail to open their heart to their friends and therefore their friendship never crosses that line of mutual trust. Those who try to be friendly with such people often discover this trait and walk off, feeling cheated.

Nobody likes to be judged and controlled:

Arrogance is that intoxication, which never lets you come to your senses. Those who acquire this trait think highly of themselves and try to judge even their friends. They manipulate them in various ways, which is always disliked. How long can any friend bear such a behavior?

Arrogance mocks at humility:

Such people consider humility to be a weakness. They look down upon benevolent and humble friends, which exposes their own hollowness. Virtues are very hard to maintain and therefore all those who try to endure the behavior of arrogant persons give up out of disappointment.

Arrogance thrives on dominance:

Would you like your friend to control your thoughts, influence you into doing something you may not be comfortable with? Arrogant people are compulsive rulers. They want to govern your feelings, your time and even your likes. They take pleasure in planning for all the people around them.

Do you have arrogant friends? Do you like their company? I would love to hear your views.

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Thank you for your support. Please add your valuable comments, they are much appreciated.

Balroop Singh.

Image adapted from: http://windydy.deviantart.com