Is Affection An Offshoot Of Love?

Affection

Affection comes naturally but it has to be nurtured in the impressionable years of growth. If it is rebuffed in the earlier stages of childhood, it recedes to the remotest corners of our heart, difficult to reignite.

People who grow up to be reticent and unemotional have probably been denied this affection. They have never been told that it is natural to hug and speak in clear words about their emotions. When emotions are snubbed, we learn to disregard them.

My earliest recollections about affection are connected with my grandma but she didn’t live in our house and she died when I was quite young. Out of all my aunts, I felt drawn towards only one, probably because she was kind, soft-spoken and listened calmly.

Besides this I didn’t know what is affection till I became a mother…why it doesn’t come naturally to all mothers is the biggest mystery!

Affection is different from love, which can be selfish and demanding though understanding love is more challenging than understanding affection!

Affection is a much profound emotion, which is inexplicable but can be fathomed through our pores. It percolates down our skin slowly. It exposes us to some finer emotions. It can mold us into caring and understanding persons.

Though the synonyms of affection are: fondness, liking, feeling, love, care, desire, passion, warmth, attachment, goodwill, devotion, kindness, inclination, tenderness, propensity, friendliness, amity

But…Affection is not passion; it is not love albeit love may later develop due to this sublime emotion.

Affection is not transient; it grows even when it is not reciprocated.

Affection is not a desire; it cannot be commanded. It is earned.

Affection is not ‘liking’; it doesn’t change with seasons.affection-quote

I had a colleague who was very affectionate. She could win many hearts with her way of approaching people and her words, even those, which carried an unsolicited advice could affect! I felt drawn toward her due to her kindness but I won’t say I loved her.

In the beginning; love is just a passing thought, a mirage that allures us.

Love grows if it is nurtured. It evolves itself but withers if it is not watered with affection, care, respect and kindness. Romantic love morphs into a loving and eternal relationship if we understand what is love.

We attach so many emotions and expectations to love that its real visage gets sidelined. It’s illusionary aspect carries us far into the world of unknown…obviously we wander and drift away!

While the perception of love changes with time and depends on culture and conditioning, affection is more reliable.

“Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our natural lives.” – C. S. Lewis

Affection can be nurtured:

  • Respond to your child’s demands with soft words
  • Make bedtime a memorable and loving moment
  • Read good stories with the right emotion and intonation
  • Hug your child lovingly and speak endearing words calmly
  • Be gentle and soft, as a child can understand the caresses more than a usual touch
  • Be positive and honest in your dealings
  • Avoid manipulations as a child can understand them quite well
  • Be sensitive to the thoughts and fears of your child
  • Never ever yell at or nag them for their imperfections
  • Be emotionally present and empathize with their frustrations
  • Always use positive words to encourage them.

The moment we indulge our affections, the earth is metamorphosed, there is no winter and no night; all tragedies, all ennui s, vanish, all duties even. – Ralph Waldo Emerson.

How do you show affection? Does it affect love?

Thank you for reading this. Please add your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.

If you have liked this article, please share it at your favorite social networks.

Balroop Singh.

 

Wishes For You…

Wishes for New Year

If you are a writer
May words twirl around your place
If you are a dreamer,
May visions placate your days with solace

If you are a lover
May fragrant freedom grace your days
If you are a visionary
May the hues of rainbow seep into your ways

If you are intuitive
May your inner voice fathom all
If you are sensitive
May tender vibes caress your emotional fall

If you are reflective
May your ideas sparkle and soar
If you have indomitable spirit
May success knock at your door

If you are a pessimist
May hope glow in your heart
If you are agitated
May patience bloom in your backyard

If you are a brooder
May your hours of distress decrease
If you are fun-loving
Savor each moment of joy with ease

Let happiness, harmony, humility
Let acceptance, compassion, calmness
Permeate through your persona
This year, to dispel all the darkness.

© Balroop Singh
All rights reserved.

You can click on Sublime Shadows Of Life  by Balroop Singh to read more such poems.

If you have liked this poem, please share it at your favorite social networks.
Thank you for your support. Please add your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.

Symphony Of Surroundings

Symphony of surroundings

Flowers are tossing, smiling
Conferring in cautious whispers
With wind as their confidant
Carries fragrance far beyond the horizon
 
Twilight tiptoes, adorning
Halcyon hues of golden tenors
Shadows shift leisurely
Beckoning, bouncing buoyantly
 
Magical moon joins the conference
Listening quietly, spreading its beams
To embrace the breezy silence
To hear the symphony of surroundings
 
Some clouds too float around
But we could only feel them
As they flirted with little drops
Falling gently, without a sound
 
Immersed in this moment of bliss
Savoring soft sounds of night
Watching imperious moon
I could feel your presence in its glow
A weird connection!
 
© Balroop Singh.

You can click on Sublime Shadows of Life by Balroop Singh to read more such poems.
If you have liked this poem, please share it at your favorite social networks.
Thank you for your support. Please share your reflections, they are much appreciated.

It Was Not Just An Emotional Decision!

Not just emotional

Why I chose United States of America after retirement?

When people ask me why did you relocate to U.S.A, I have a very ready and simple answer…‘Strange is pull of your loved ones.’ Love is a dramatic driving force, the most powerful potion that we drink willingly.

When they ask how do I feel, I think about my blessings…I am nearer to my children and can meet them whenever I want.

My grandchildren don’t have to travel thousands of miles to hug me and then wonder why they live so far away. They would be having nice memories of their grand parents when they grow up.

I don’t have to wait to meet them and that too after a year or two.

Was it just an emotional decision? NO!

Emotions did play a significant role but little things do matter and so I would like to talk about those.

I admire my new surroundings for various reasons.

Healthy and fresh food:

I don’t know much about economic, health or security issues, which are universally relevant but I do know that the food which we buy here is much healthy and fresh, with all the nutrition labels, giving you the information what all you are going to consume. If I buy organic food, I don’t have to think whether it is actually organic. All kinds of cooked and ready to eat food are easily available for every pocket and palate.

DSC02277Landscaping and green cover:

When I look around how each and every empty space is aesthetically planned, kept clean and green, I get a reassurance that I have taken a good decision. Nature has always inspired and soothed me. Landscaping here doesn’t just look pleasing to the eyes; it also enhances our positivity, psychological and emotional well-being. I couldn’t have got better surroundings anywhere else. I just have to look out of the window to change my mood.

Discipline and courtesy:

People greet you with a smile, good morning or a hello when they pass by, instilling a feeling of goodness. Nobody stares or ogles at you! Nobody pushes you, the queues are most organized and people stand at a distance from each other. Nobody bumps into you and apologies are instant even if somebody happens to be in your way.

Road safety:

I-80_Eastshore_Fwy
No aggressive driving

Driving is stress free and most organized. People follow the rules and wait for their turn. Nobody drives aggressively, nobody gets into your way and lane driving is the norm, which is never flouted. You don’t have any fears that somebody might overtake or almost bump into your car from the side lane and scare you out of your wits.

Respect for pedestrians:

All vehicles stop for the pedestrian even when there is no intersection or zebra crossing. No driver expects you to stop and let him pass as the first right is given to the pedestrian. On busy streets, special road crossing devices have been installed to let the pedestrians take their turn to cross the road.

Respect for each other’s opinion:

People don’t shout you down and impose their own opinion on you. What you eat, wear and how you live is not anybody’s concern. Nobody intrudes into your privacy to comment on your body weight or sexual orientation. Peace and respect is a way of life here.

Peace:

Nobody honks. Even when you don’t happen to see within a second that the light has turned green. Nobody parks illegally. Handicapped parking is earmarked clearly in all parking areas and nobody flouts that rule. The dogs are well trained not to bark unnecessarily. No DJ’s, no loud music disturbs you at any time of the day or night.

Zero tolerance to littering:

You wont see even a little piece of paper anywhere in the parks, on the roads or anywhere near your home. In some areas where people don’t seem to bother, you could find a warning: $1000 fine for littering. Everyone respects the laws here or has to pay the penalty.

I have made some wonderful new friends. What more can you ask for? There must be more countries with such splendid amenities but this one suits me.

photo 2
Sky line from my window

Thank you for reading this. Your views are welcome. Please share them.

If you have liked this article, please share it at your favorite social networks.

Balroop Singh.

Future

Unknown Future

More than once I have made
Inroads into the future
Stepped into the unknown,
To peep, to think, to decide.
 
Amazing pictures have lured me,
A lovely deep forest, frightening.
A vast valley, intimidating
A long road, reassuring.
 
A positive spirit, soaring high
A nagging doubt, pulling back
A persistent hope, guiding me,
Assuring me…go ahead!
 
Though uncertain, I step forward
Trust is my only companion,
Love for loved ones
The only cementing force.
 
As I wait for the true picture
As I look at the fragile relationships
As I meet a new face everyday
I wonder why future is so obscure!
 © Balroop Singh.
You can click on ‘Sublime Shadows of Life’ by Balroop Singh to read more such poems.
If you have liked this poem, please share it at your favorite social networks.
Thank you for your support. Please share your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.