How to Heal Emotional Hurts?

How to heal emotional hurts
No sane soul hurts deliberately. Yet hurts happen. Today I want to discuss  emotional hurts, which remain deep-rooted, which keep gnawing at our hearts, as we don’t want to share them for fear of ridicule or exposing our relationships, which may appear to be loving and smooth.

Why do people hurt?

  •  Insensitivity towards others
  • Lack of emotional quotient
  • Lack of communication skills
  • Jealousy
  • Arrogance
  • Vindictive attitude
  • Own selfish motives.

Selfish people never think of others. Even if they do, their own pursuits are so overwhelming for them that they are able to justify themselves. They buy peace with self- arguments and get rid of the guilt of hurting their own near and dear ones.

Sometimes vile and toxic people around them encourage them in their goals, by glorifying their efforts to guide them. Such people snatch them away from their most loving friends and relatives.

Sometimes we hurt others unknowingly. We use such words, which pierce the hearts, without realizing their impact.

Have you ever felt the depth of hurt? It is much deeper than we think it to be.

Emotional hurts leave longer shadows behind them. Unlike physical hurts, they are invisible but the marks they make on our psyche are indelible. While some hurts may be subtle, some stare starkly at us and become a burden.

Time is said to be a great healer but it doesn’t really heal. It just fades the memories of hurts. They keep returning in your solemn moments, in your dreams and when ever you think of that person.

 SELF- HEALING

We keep burying emotional hurts into the deepest crevices of our hearts and only address them when they become unbearable. At this point we think of going to a therapist who directs us back to our own efforts!

So self-healing is the only answer and that too requires a huge effort:

  • Keep the thoughts of hurts away by engaging in meaningful tasks.
  • If you must think, try to analyze why you were hurt and who is responsible.
  • There is no harm in admitting if you are the cause. It will help in keeping your mind clear of all the clutter.
  • Accept the fact that the person who has hurt you is no longer attached to you; he or she doesn’t care about your feelings.
  • It is better to detach yourself.
  • Be Positive. Respect yourself.
  • Forgive and forget. Forgiveness is the first step to self-healing.Emotional detachment

It is very painful to detach, I know. That is why probably, time is given the greatest credit but in reality, only self-efforts have the healing power.

Try the following tips:

 Talk to yourself: Self- talking is a very powerful tool in our hands. Let the talk go on and on, don’t try to give it a direction. Let the positive and negative thoughts flow on. When they exhaust themselves, then sift through your thoughts and pick up the positive ones to convince yourself that it is not your fault.

It is just a phase: Accept that you are just going through a bad phase. Everybody has to. You don’t have any control over the circumstances but you can control the damage, which the present situation might do to your mental and emotional health.

Keep yourself busy: If you have work, bury yourself in that. It will keep you away from the depressive thoughts for a while. In case you don’t have a regular routine to keep yourself busy, read a good book, visit a friend, go and meet somebody whose company gives you relief and comfort.

Share your thoughts: Don’t conceal emotional wounds. When you speak out your mind, half of the burden wears off. You can discuss your anxieties and fears with a person you trust, a friend or your mother or sister, whosoever you are comfortable with. It gives immense relief and you will feel lighter.

Cry your heart out: As you share your feelings, let the tears flow. They bring about catharsis and have an amazing healing power. The pain of your heart will melt away for the time being. Let all the thoughts of regret, guilt and forgiveness visit you again and again and let them flow away.

Pour your heart out: Write down all your thoughts, the remorse and the censure and your answers to all the questions that are troubling you. It will give you a strange self- satisfaction and self-healing.

Listen to good music: Good music is a great healing balm; it takes us out of our situation and provides a soothing touch to our heart and soul. “For me, singing sad songs often has a way of healing a situation. It gets the hurt out in the open into the light, out of the darkness.” – Reba McEntire

Have faith in yourself. Self- therapy requires great determination to push aside your anguish and have immense faith in your efforts.

Can hurts ever be forgotten?

We try to deny them in our mind. We tell ourselves that they don’t matter to us but emotional wounds get deeper if we don’t acknowledge them.

Thank you for reading this. Please share your valuable reflections, as they are much appreciated.

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Balroop Singh.

 

 

How I Reached That State Of Mind, Which Is Called ‘Meditation’

Meditation

I have always cold-shouldered meditation, considering it to be another way of prayer. Probably I didn’t understand its meaning and had no faith in its healing power. I couldn’t believe that it can actually train our mind to think positive, to calm down and enhance the power of concentration.

Probably I had no time to sit quietly at that phase of life.

I always thought that the stream of thoughts flows incessantly. How can it be harnessed by meditation?

Stressful situations could never impel me towards it as I could handle them quite well.

Though meditation belongs to antiquity, there has been much ado about it in the modern times. So I have always been contemplating and waiting for some leisure to get acquainted with this practice.

When I heard that it could lead us to “inner transformation”, I must confess I felt the urge to try it out. However, it remained an unshared reverie for a long time.

Now I have been practicing meditation, a long nurtured dream but it still plays hide and seek with me. I have been trying to peep into the inner recesses of my mind and lately I seem to have made a break through.

Despite various suggestions about the ways of meditation, everybody has to discover one’s own way. And I did but it was a long, obstinate journey.

Meditation in natural surroundings has helped me at last.

The track I have been taking along a creek is blissfully peaceful; even the water produces a very soft sound.

One day the vibe of this creek and the trees reached me. That was an irresistible call. I sat by their side and closed my eyes. I could immediately discern deep connection.

The encouragement:Slide1

The visions that I perceived encouraged me to reconsider daily meditation.

Everyday I sit by the side of this creek and let my negative thoughts flow into it. Sitting there has helped me understand meditation. The leaves, the birds, the morning sunshine and the breeze support me in the percolation of positive energy into my body.

Most of the analysis I indulge in happens at such a time or when I go for a walk. So I start with my usual evaluation of thoughts and concepts.

The concentration:

I start with hands on my eyes like a child who is unable to close the eyes till s/he is overpowered by sleep.

I close my eyes to concentrate on the most recent thoughts till they fade into background. Do they? Oh no! Sometimes I wish this advancement of technology could invent a switch to turn our mind off!

On some days, when I close my eyes, all I can see is the yellow light, refusing to let me move beyond that… those are the days when mind is encircled by negative energy.

A little improvement is made when that yellow light turns into red and then I can see a tunnel of red light moving very fast but the moment some sound is heard, I am back in the yellow glow, struggling once again to move ahead.

It is like prodding into the unknown land in circles, coming back to the same spot.

On some days the frustration wins and dissuades me from even trying to sit at the place I chose to meditate.

I tell myself… I am wasting my time but there are days, brimming with positive energy which rekindle the fire within me to restart.

The breakthrough:

My persistence to explore the obscure tunnels of mind paid off and now I have developed some resistance to the loud voices, which try to disappoint me. Now I have realized that meditation is possible:

  • By controlling negative energy
  • By letting it pervade all around
  • By giving it enough space and time to disintegrate
  • By waiting patiently for concentration to settle on you

There was a time when external forces and sounds could shatter my concentration. Just the singing bird could divert my attention and I opened my eyes, losing all I had accomplished.

Now I can continue into that corridor which keeps widening, the more the span of concentration the wider it becomes, giving a sense of strange satisfaction.

And then that corridor opens up. I find myself in an open area with trees all around quite different from the ones I see and sit with.

I realize that it is not a state of blank, empty mind. It is more like developing a relationship with your reflections.

While meditating my mind is teeming with fresh thoughts. I find a strange connection with this solitude.

Only when we experience a particular state of mind, do we get the pleasure.

Everyday I drift into that state when I am trying to meditate.

It is now getting easier, more meaningful and blissful.

Do you meditate? How did you learn it?

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Thank you for your support. Please add your valuable comments, they are much appreciated.

Balroop Singh.