This is also Love!

Love is a sublime emotion, which is only understood when we have crossed the pitfalls of infatuation; when we stop gazing at its dazzling light; when we learn to look within and when it has taught us its value. I have written about it many times. Here is an excerpt from one of my poems:

“True love keeps smiling in our eyes
Like a fountain that never dries
It instills hope, respect, patience
The journey of love is so elating.”
© Balroop Singh

Recently I stumbled upon a book of poetry that acquainted me with another aspect of LOVE; not because it came back (which is so rare) but because it validated my belief that I have shared in the opening lines.

This poetry was written when the poet was a youngster. It made no sense to cling to those painful memories, so she abandoned it in some dark corner of the house to move forward. Many years later, her dad found the original script and gave it to her. That’s how these poems saw the light of the day to enlighten many minds. Eeva Lancaster shares the story of her life in the introductory part of this book.

The good news is that her love came back to her after 10 years!

MY REVIEW:

In Loving You – A Journey of Love and Self Discovery by Eeva Lancaster highlights that love is not just elation, not just the ecstasy of holding each other to soak in the blissful moments; it is heartbreaking too, it drives you almost crazy, pushing you into the shadows with “ghost” like existence. Emotionally charged and realistic, these poems bring out profound realities of relationships – anguish, yearning, heartbreak, loneliness, and emptiness – each emotion has been exquisitely captured by Eeva. The passion of a youngster shines through her verses.

Isn’t it ironic that love, the most powerful emotion acquaints you with the “beauty of surrender,” makes you feel like “a reed so soft and bending!” Some poems inspire to move on, conveying a subtle message that clinging on to somebody who doesn’t acknowledge your love is futile. If we could peep through the drapes of present, if we could escape the pain – an essential part of life – we would cease to be emotional and creative. Eeva’s poetry suggests that the journey toward self-discovery lies through cauldrons of circumstances, which may smile at you at a later stage. I salute this brave poet for sharing the story of her life.

© Balroop Singh

Check my latest book release: Moments We Love

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Raining Opportunities

Rain and clouds – a poet’s delight but they bring in gloom for some. It’s the way we look at things! Perspectives mold us into the kind of individuals we want to be.

Rain brings in some beautiful memories of the distant past, of childhood paper boats and weeping trees, of opportunities to slip out and splash in the transitory pools, which beckoned us to see our delightful faces.

Life passed by, robbing us of those thrilling moments. When the real meaning of opportunities dawned on us, we learned some profound lessons…

Opportunities are like drops of rain…you have to welcome them, harvest them and make them turn around! If you carry an umbrella all the time, you will miss the fun of soaking in their grandeur. They make you the person you would like to be, one day!

If you want to pick up the right opportunity,

• Have faith in yourself.
• Banish fears.
• Follow your dreams.
• Take initiative.

Sometimes opportunities come in the form of blessings, most unexpected but they also come in the form of misfortunes, with hidden possibilities and we may fail to comprehend what they have to offer. Dig deeper!

Mist of circumstances blocks our imagination, stops us from making new beginnings. Sometimes we don’t take the initiative due to lack of support, money, resources, health and sometimes family commitments seem more important. There is a silence within us, which responds only when the opportunity connects with our passion.

Having an open mind toward all the possibilities is the right approach. If we have a positive attitude, half the battle is won. Disappointments may disillusion us but an optimist would call it a blessing in disguise; thinking there is something better waiting for us!

I have always felt horizon is better than the sky because it keeps moving away, hence giving an impetus to our dreams and goals! Let the horizon be your inspiration. Clouds shield the light. Be patient!

“Create the world you want and fill it with the opportunities that matter to you”—Alicia Keys.

What stops you from making new beginnings? Do you have the determination to create your own opportunities? You can share your valuable thoughts here.

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Balroop Singh.

Do you think you are a good person? Would you like to meet your better self? Click here to know more.

 

Is Diplomacy in Relationships Good?

Relationships thrive on sensitivity, trust and honesty. They have to be nurtured and understood. Diplomacy rests on the plank of ‘think, evaluate and speak.’ It encourages you to hold your true opinion, which could be helpful at work places, not within the families.

If you have to choose your words before communicating, if you can’t speak out your mind clearly, if you think your words may hurt, if you have to pretend that you agree with the other person, such a relationship can never develop beyond the surface. It can never become endearing. It may establish some business links and even facilitate an agreement between co-workers but it doesn’t build a rapport with friends, siblings or cousins.

A true friend can look in your eyes and read your thoughts. A sibling would be able to cross the bridge of camouflage that you may have learnt to erect with time and age. Your spouse too would get the whiff of walled emotions.

Sooner or later, your diplomatic answers start showing and give a mute message, which can be decoded by your spouse or an intuitive friend. They would either confront you or would start withholding their view and that is how unknown wedges are created in relationships.

There is a very thin line between diplomacy and hypocrisy.

If you want your relationships to be warm and reliable in this world, which is drifting away despite instant connections, you must keep diplomacy out of your homes.

Are you a diplomat? A checklist:

• You don’t comment on sensitive topics
• You avoid confrontation
• You lie to defuse conflict
• You just nod even when you want to disagree
• You agree to follow up but never do
• You promise just to please others
• You never show your true self

There is no doubt that diplomacy within extended families promotes healthy relationships and a channel of reverence flows, comforting each one with the thought that they are loved. This delusion falls apart in the face of crisis. A teenager who rebels, a parent who refuses to accept change and an elderly member who stands in judgment are some of the situations that could push diplomatic behavior to its extreme ends. The façade could stand exposed!

Happy families are candid. They don’t wear masks and don’t detest unsavory remarks of each other. They learn to accept their imperfections and welcome criticism. They are eager to learn from their errors. They discuss all kinds of topics with an open mind. They give space to each member and respect freedom of thought and expression.

If you are outspoken and impulsive, you could land yourself in difficult situations but that is what we call a learning curve. Only an open family environment could prepare you for the challenges of life. Diplomacy has no place in nuclear families.

Tact and truth can blend well if we learn to handle sensitive situations with patience.

What is essential is:

• Time for each other
• Undivided attention
• Freedom of expression
• Constructive criticism
• Patience and perseverance

Do you like diplomacy? How did you learn it?

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Thank you for your support. Please share your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.

© Balroop Singh.

#BookReview: Allow Yourself to Be a Better Person by Balroop Singh

When I chose the cover for this book, I was inspired by the symbolism of this image that seems to define life…one step at a time. Personality development is like that.
When I chose the title for this book, I was convinced that becoming a better person is the choice we make, a promise that could lead us to the path of enlightenment.
I am delighted that James J. Cudney, an accomplished author found my self-help book worthy of his review. Many thanks Jay, for reading and reviewing Allow Yourself to be a Better Person.

His review is also posted at Amazon and Goodreads.

Religion Or Spirituality – What is Your Choice?

I am veering toward the thought: “Religion is the opium of masses.” Not that I didn’t try to explore its depths. I approached it with an open mind, I have observed its nuances from a closer angle and have even discussed it with devout followers and youngsters.

Religion is confusing. I have tried to understand it in many ways, most interesting being asking the young and the free minds who thought they were religious. Why – “because they were told to believe in it and follow its rituals.” Why – because “their parents told them to.” But some of them spoke honestly and admitted that they were confused.

To begin with religion may provide emotional security, unknown anchoring may ease angst and promote hope. It may inspire to live a meaningful life. I agree that it offers solace but all that is transitory.

Let’s nor forget the real face of religion:

• It imposes arbitrary rules and rituals
• It thrives on fear
• It tries to control you
• It encourages you to follow illogical path
• It blocks freethinking and tries to condition your mind
• It creates divide and polarizes communities
• It has been used for accomplishing selfish goals

Religion may be confusing but easier to follow, as it doesn’t demand any understanding.

Spirituality is easier to understand but spiritual awakening dawns slowly; it is connected with our psychological growth, which is quite natural. Within us lies a light, a light of thoughts, a light of sanity, of ethereal happiness the light that liberates, which may become divine at some point of time, if we make an effort.

Spiritual awakening starts unfolding itself when we learn to look within; sometimes it astonishes us with its presence in some unknown crevices of our heart.

Spirituality is just being in harmony with yourself, exploring your thoughts and empowering them, delving deep into what you want and not being led by the so called Gurus. It only comes with understanding people and the world. You can’t expect a teenager to be spiritual, as it is developing your intuitive power and listening to your inner voice.

When we start discarding negative thoughts, when we begin to understand the feelings and emotions of people around us, when we adapt to changes without any grunts, when we adopt a positive approach to life, when self-healing becomes our goal – we may be gearing towards spiritualism.

It is an accomplishment as…

• It leads us to emotional maturity and a deeper understanding of self.
• It acquaints us with the darker aspects of our personality.
• We can recognize the emotions that weaken us.
• We develop the ability to embrace pain.
• We learn to bridge the gap between pain and pleasure.
• We cultivate the resilience to face inner demons, which we flee from.
• We become sensitive to disparities around us.

Spirituality, as we know today has detached itself from religion and centers around values and humanistic ideas. It concentrates on personal wellbeing and inner peace.

It emphasizes on meditation, mindfulness, tolerance and ethics.

Yes, it matures us; it keeps us grounded but it doesn’t compel us to become another Buddha or his follower.

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Thank you for your support. Please share your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.

© Balroop Singh.