How To Knock Off Indecision And Procrastination

Are you indecisive?

Procrastination is not just the practice of putting off important tasks; it speaks volumes about the inability to take decisions that we believe to be right. It also exhibits our lack of confidence and faith in unknown fears. Unless we tackle those fears, we remain in the grip of others.

Moments of indecision slip from our hands like sand; we unconsciously transfer the power that lies within our reach; we let the seconds tick through our minds, pondering over the questions…such nightmarish moments turn into regrets that stick forever.

If we have no choice, we fret and fume, we detest all those who block our freedom but when choices lie before us, we dither, we think and we look at others to take a decision. Jim Rohn has rightly pointed out that “Indecision is the thief of opportunity.”

Why are people indecisive?

  • They don’t want to displease anyone
  • They are scared of making a wrong choice
  • Insecurities shackle their thoughts
  • They lack confidence of facing risks
  • They could be perfectionists
  • They detest change

Determination and confidence are the two essential traits of a decisive mind.

Know your mind: It is the quality of a strong and well-developed personality. We all pass through the phase of indecisiveness. When we are immature to trust our decisions, we give in to the wishes or commands of others. When we start understanding our needs and desires, we ought to acquire the confidence to take our decisions.

Build Confidence: Most teenagers try to wrest the control of their lives from the hands of their parents and want to take their own decisions. Those who live from their heart are quick in learning the art of decisiveness even if it may prove disastrous but they don’t dwell in those parallel lines, which take them nowhere. Decisiveness is the most significant personality trait that leads you to success.

Dismiss fears and sneers: Boulders of fear block our path but we have to take a detour to avoid them. When I decided to quit a secure job at the age of 24 and start a family, my colleagues looked at me in bewilderment, some even scoffed at my immaturity but I didn’t look back. I have never even had a regret though I could never reach that position, which I had secured at that young age.Be decisive!

Support: If you don’t have the nod of your family or partner, you may vacillate and wonder whether it is the right time to take a decision. Time is never right if we think too much. ‘Now or never’ is a good guiding force to knock off the monster of indecision.

Trust Yourself: Procrastination slowly gets entrenched in our personality and becomes a habit. It corrodes our confidence, smothers our thoughts and restricts our actions. We become mere puppets in the hands of people around us. Sometimes unilateral decisions lead us out of the conundrums of life.

Are you a puppet? Do you take your own decisions or procrastinate?

Thank you for reading this. Please share your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.

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Balroop Singh.

 

 

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Realism Is NOT A Sign Of Defeat

Realism is a light

Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
I am a realist, a poet and a friend.
The door didn’t open.
I stood there, wondering…did I say something out of place?

I didn’t give up and knocked again, softly.
What do you want?
‘Nothing.’ I couldn’t say a word beyond that.
Expectations? Did I say I don’t have any?

Often I tell myself – expectations are emotional signposts that stunt your growth.

While trying to keep them at bay, introspection pays an unexpected visit…

I know this world is skeptical. I know nobody likes to befriend a realist.

I have been turned away like that a thousand times yet I didn’t learn any lessons.

When I met fantasy, she took me beyond the horizon and introduced me to the stars but their incandescence couldn’t blind me.

Those flights were like lying in a hammock and I could perceive some magnificent hues, relaxing and gathering some fantastic confetti to sprinkle upon my words.

She also whirl-winded through the corridors of romance, riding on the waves of ecstasy but I didn’t lose my sanity. I couldn’t soak myself in the fragrance of fickle-hearted, frivolous love despite its alluring attraction.

When I met mystery, she took me into the darkest tunnels where cobwebs tried to block my vision. Darkness could not hold me for too long as the eternal optimist within me keeps me humored all the time.

Melodrama couldn’t lure me and I refused to be carried away by its teary-eyed hypocrisy.

Thrilling adventures did hook me but their enticement was short lived as my mentor was always breathing in my ear the admonishing words in a firm tone.

Observation and intuition have been my best pals! I still love them.

Realism keeps me grounded. It connects me with people, their emotions and experiences of life.

“The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.” – William Arthur Ward 

I met realism very early in life when I was just beginning to form my memories. I remember him clearly standing in the door, with scary daggers in both his hands, reminding me to remain indoors.

He told me, ‘you are a girl in a men’s world.’ This warning developed my emotional quotient and intuition.

He walked with me all the time, threatening to knock me into a drain. One day he did so when I refused to listen to him and jumped ahead to buy a candy.Realism quote

The rebel within me leaped out each time to scratch his face. Some times I did succeed in dodging him but that only exposed my own imprudence.

He revealed to me the travails of life; the aches and the hurts that he gave me steeled me. He acquainted me with the secrets and diktats of my culture. He taught me to pour an embittered heart into a cauldron and ignite it with my words. I grew up with his cues and his decrees became a part of my personality.

An internal rebel, I yearned to break free. There is no doubt that realism can be stifling at times.

Freedom did grace my home and the precious wings that I cherished were spontaneously passed on with realistic values to the next generation.

Realism keeps me focused yet a little dose of fantasy makes a coveted cocktail of poetic delight. Emotions too keep peeping in though I have learnt to channelize them. When I look at my early poetry, completely driven by emotions I marvel at my personal growth and the whole credit goes to introspection.

“Realism can break a writer’s heart,” said Salman Rushdie…such is the power of realism but I have reconciled with him as he has mentored me all my life.

How much of a realist are you?

Thank you for reading this. Please add your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.

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Balroop Singh.

Lessons Of Life

Lessons Of Life

Visual effects were almost complete
Eyes half closed, one hand invisible
A dried tear, a veiled vanity
A relationship gone awry
The picture was ready…
 
The painter – a half winged bird
Struggling to fly yet feigning finesse
Besieged by promises
Eternal wait…. edgy encounters
Enigmatic appearance after ages!
 
Misty mornings of camouflaged hopes
Eerie silence, long walks
Through the woods
What is this place? So familiar!
Nostalgia is painfully pleasant
 
Emotional fetters couldn’t affect
Art and inspiration
Forgotten façade couldn’t fade
Memories of hypocritical love
And gratitude for lessons of life.
© Balroop Singh
All rights reserved.

You can click on Sublime Shadows of Life by Balroop Singh to read more such poems.

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Thank you for your support. Please add your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.

6 lessons I Learnt From Life…And Counting

Lessons from life

“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.” -Robert Frost

I wish life could have been as simple as that!

You may like to smile but you have to deal with those who frown at you.

We keep making plans and life passes by, reminding us that we can’t even hold a single second.

It is important to define your passion:

Life without a passion is a rudderless boat, which is tossed and turned by people around us. If you don’t know what you want from life, pause and reflect. Are you running the race without any goal in sight? Are you motivated enough to pursue that? Blessed are those who can discern the difference between passion and ambition.

I have heard the sane advice many times – ‘it’s never too late to follow your passion.’ But by the time I discovered it, I didn’t have the time and the money to put into it. My emotional bonds encompassed me so firmly that I couldn’t break free from them; my values didn’t permit me to unshackle myself. So I let it go.

I often tell myself…life is like that. It offered me love and duties and I found happiness in them. Acceptance makes us prudent, aligns us with the realities of life and makes us resilient.

Don’t bury your bucket list:

It may be very necessary to have a free spirit but we often ignore it for the sake of others. Our dear ones occupy a precious place in our hearts and we give prominence to them most of the times.

If we don’t do so we feel adrift, yearning for somebody who really cares, who occupies the most important place in our life.

Many times we forget our own self, our wishes remain buried within us; we call it love and benevolence but some corner of the heart keeps smoldering.

Pay attention to that corner of your heart. I created my bucket list but buried it in that corner. Many parts got charred before I turned my attention to that list. It is before me now and I have convinced myself… ‘it is never too late to fulfill your wishes, it is perfectly fine to add some more and I am grateful to be healthy to empty my bucket.

All dreams are achievable:

I realized it too late but I am glad I could develop that discerning eye. I have been dropping many dreams, as I couldn’t get the support, I thought they were risky, fears could convince me and I felt I was not ready. Time and tide don’t wait and so they carried them away while I looked helplessly.

We need the inspiration, the resources and the determination. Apparently one of them was missing. Probably I was too naïve to build up a crushing spirit, to rise above the challenges but I don’t have any regrets.

However, I know now that dreams remain dormant if we don’t share them, if we don’t work on them and if we get confounded by the fears. Nobody would pay any attention to them if you don’t.

Don’t judge:

I know it is basic human nature to form opinions, sometimes even without knowing others properly. I know we get this habit from our surroundings. All the time people around me judged me, without actually knowing why I am an introvert, why I hold my head up when I walk or why I don’t smile much. They even judged my sense of dressing up!

My boss called me arrogant but my close friends knew that I wore a mask to insulate myself from hurts. Some of my colleagues found me rude while some found me very warm and friendly.

Whose opinion would you accept? Judgments can be delusive.

I am not trying to say that I was never prejudiced. It was natural for me to pick up what I saw but life has taught me that judgments can be biased and they serve no useful purpose. Nobody likes to be judged.

I took all kinds of judgment in a positive manner, some of which helped me to learn smiling and become a better person.

Life quote

Don’t regret:

Nobody has a perfect life – so why have regrets? Accept them, live with them.

When I was too naïve, I couldn’t see through the tricks of people, I couldn’t understand when they played with my emotions but none of that is my fault, the onus falls on them.

If you couldn’t follow your passion or made a wrong choice, it is futile to grieve over the past, as you didn’t have any control over it. Regrets pull us backwards.

Did you hurt somebody? You may not have done it consciously. Was your apology unacceptable to a dear one? It doesn’t matter because you have done all you could.

I have always accepted such experiences as lessons that life has taught me. I have consistently moved ahead with fresh confidence and fortitude.

When we look at the positive aspect of those regrets, we can get over them.

Detachment is inevitable:

While it is easy to detach from money, power and people, emotional attachments control us. They cloud our judgment, they refuse to let go, they are like a lump in the throat, which can only be felt. Detachment may be distressing and paralyzing but it is the reality of life.

We have to let go. We have to give wings to our children who want to soar. We have to come back to square one and find new activities. Most cherished relationships end, near and dear ones pass on into another world and we have to accept.

Thank you for reading this. It was becoming too lengthy and therefore I have cut it short here only.

Please share your views about the lessons that life has taught you.

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Balroop Singh.