Conflicts In Relationships – The Untold Story Of Emotions

Conflicts in relationships

I have yet to come across a person who could say ‘I have never faced any conflict in relationships.’ Disagreements and disillusionments are as natural as breathing. Even the relationship of siblings, which is based on emotional memories they gathered and the love they shared since childhood, gets warped by circumstances, choices and people who influence their lives.

The loving relationship of a brother and sister gets frayed the moment they fall in love or choose a partner, who becomes more important, who controls their life, who wants all the attention and love and who considers any other family member an intruder. It happens with their relationship with parents too.

We all know this truth but never accept or discuss it. We pretend all is well. The chasm gets wider with the passage of time and smarter partners start calling you a member of extended family! You need their permission to visit their home, you have to learn diplomacy to deal with your own loving relationships, you have to say all pleasant words and even innocent remarks get misinterpreted.

We learn pretentions, we have to become hypocritical, greet each other with fake smiles and kind words even when our emotions are in a volcanic state.

While conflicts lead to healthy relationships, they can throttle us if they are not addressed at the appropriate time.

Some people don’t confront the conflicts, brush them into the corners and never ask any questions. Probably they are scared of shattering the superficial peace that seems to exist in their house, which never becomes a home. Their relationship issues keep smoldering.

Some don’t have a choice and therefore accept it as their life, become mute spectators to their rights being trampled and become doormats. They learn to suppress their emotions and convince themselves that their wishes and desires are superfluous. They take pleasure in pleasing their family members and dwell in self-made graves.

Some start ignoring the conflicts, make their own choices and find happiness in whatever is available around them. If they happen to be financially independent, they find solace in their work. They drift away from each other and their relationships never grow.

When insensitivity creeps into relationships, when feelings and emotions are not shared, they create an unknown wedge between relationships. They breed anger and angst and there is no limit to these negative emotions.

Non-communication can lead to serious rifts and it is one of the major reasons of drifting apart. Emotions need an outlet, a channel that makes them flow spontaneously.

Emotional outbursts are better than carrying an emotional baggage.

Repressed emotions are like a volcano and silence becomes a lid for them. I am sure you can understand what happens when a volcano bursts!Nurture relationships

All relationships are valuable; all of them are brittle and have to be handled astutely.

‘Relationship’ is a very wide term…it is not just a connection between two persons, which immediately comes to your mind when you hear this term.

The most precious relationship begins in the womb…a motherly binding that you experience the moment you feel the sensation of that small movement of your baby.

Relationships connect us not just by blood or marriage; they also refer to the emotional binding between people, family members, teachers and students, business partners and clients etc.

“There is no formula to relationships. They have to be negotiated in loving ways, with room for both parties, what they want and what they need, what they can do and what their life is like.”—Mitch Albom

You may like to read more about emotions and relationships and how to handle the conflicts.

Thank you for reading this. Please add your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.

If you have liked this post, please share it at your favorite social networks.

Balroop Singh.

 

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Personal Transformation Secrets

Personal TransformationThere are thousands of stories about personal transformation and the oft-repeated word is – positivity! The word seems to suggest that the moment we write that word down in our journal, the moment we start thinking about it, change within us starts.

While the stories of personal transformation inspire, there are many people whose inspiration lasts for a few moments, who like to wallow in self-pity and don’t make any conscious effort to move on from the dumps of depression.

Positive thoughts need constant ignition. That’s why one appointment with a therapist is not sufficient. What does a therapist do? He just listens to our disappointing thoughts and veers them towards positivity.

I can say with great conviction that positivity does help but personal transformation is a very slow process. So slow that we don’t even notice it.

In many cases it doesn’t occur at all…why?

  • Negative influence around us impedes our first step, detrimental discussions about persons who work against our progress especially at work place sway our thoughts so much that we fail to see how much such people can harm our personality.
  • Getting stuck in the past, whining about who hurt us and why and submerging ourselves in the sea of sadistic thoughts doesn’t let us move beyond what we are and what we wanted to be.
  • Obsession of success can take us far into the barren lands of transience, which seem to be so alluring that we lose connection with our own self as well as our treasured relationships.
  • Arrogance of wealth and power refuses to knock us down its exalted pedestal, from where we see ourselves as perfect.
  • All those persons who ride high on the clouds of perfection refuse to accept that they could become better persons.

I know a few who don’t even possess the courage to acknowledge that they had hurt somebody at some juncture of life, knowingly or unknowingly. Some are those who continue to hurt and say ‘why should I change now?’ They believe that people deserve the treatment that has been meted out to them because of their imperfections. Ironically they refuse to see that nobody is perfect!

If you want to change yourself…

Accept your inadequacies:

Do you consider acceptance of your weaknesses equivalent to lowering of your self-esteem? Has self-love created a rift between you and your dear ones? If so, it is time to introspect. You may be aware of the reasons; the moment you acknowledge them in your heart; you could initiate personal transformation.

Get in touch with your inner self:Personal transformation quote

Do you sweep embarrassing issues and questions under the carpet? Do you postpone their discussion? Do you live in the world of denial? There must be some fears and insecurities, which could be hampering your growth. Unless you let them reveal themselves and make peace with them, personal transformation doesn’t ensue.

Cultivate kindness:

A kind heart overlooks all mistakes and forgives all. Do one kind act everyday. It could be as little as smiling at somebody. Kindness is immensely cathartic for the body and the soul. It calms our nerves and introduces us to empathy. It enhances our confidence and provides a strange satisfaction. Studies have revealed that kind people are happy and healthy.

Understand success:

Success may be an important goal of your life but it loses its meaning when we shoot past other aspects of life. Success is being happy, being at peace with yourself; being able to look after yourself and being content. A successful person is the one who is emotionally balanced. Addiction to success often proves self-detrimental. The corridors of success are illuminated more by our emotions.

“Transformation is not automatic. It must be learned; it must be led.” – W. Edwards Deming.

We have to allow ourselves to become a better person. You can read more about personal enhancement in my latest book.

Have you ever struggled with frustrations? Do negative thoughts pester you?

Thank you for reading this. Please add your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.

If you have liked this article, please share it at your favorite social networks.

Balroop Singh.

 

My Promise Of Becoming A Better Person…

Last year when I was intrinsically inspired by the resolutions of my blogger friends, I had made just one promise and that was ‘to become a better person.’

This one thought ushered in a host of memories, which revealed to me my true self and I felt the need to record some of my struggles with the enhancement of my personality.

It was not an easy endeavor as many of those memories were fraught with fears of facing monsters lurking around me but the way I have dealt with them single-handedly, removing all the cobwebs in which I was trapped has convinced me that there is always a light shimmering at the horizon.

As the curtain was coming down on another year, I got the opportunity to introspect… how much could I come up to my expectations?

The definition of being a ‘Better Person’ could be different for all of us but I had set 6 benchmarks, which I have been working on.

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I am delighted to tell you that a single resolution has helped me immensely in putting together my observations and experiences in the form of a book, which I am ready to release. Some of the chapters are the same that I have shared with you but this book is for all those readers who don’t come regularly to read my blog and even those who would like to ascend the steps of personality building, one by one.

My conviction is that self-help is the best kind of help as teachers and therapists can only show us the way. We have to move ahead with our own steps, if we stumble and stagger, we have to rise with our own efforts in whatever journey we undertake.

When I self-published my first book, I was not a blogger and was unaware of the challenges of wading into the realms of publication. Ignorance is bliss and so I didn’t even realize where I could have floundered!

Then I discovered blogging! The happiness of sharing my emotions and reflections was enough to keep me afloat! On the way I met some wonderful blogger friends who guided and supported me with their wisdom and expertise. Some even reviewed my books.

My thoughts go back to some of my oldest blogger friends Vishnu, Harleena Singh, Marie, Lisa and Somali, who stood by a newbie to offer valuable advice and reviews. Alka went a step further by uploading one of my books’ cover on her blog to help me in its promotion. Christy invited me to tea at her blog to talk about my poetry. Dear friends, I take this opportunity to express my gratitude once again and look forward to your support this time again.

I have many lovely author cum blogger friends whom I met recently and would request all of them to be a part of this endeavor.

Please spread the word. Share this post at your blogs and all the social networks please.

Give a shout out to your friends who would like to become a better person.

My book is now live at Amazon.com

You can click on the link to look inside or grab your copy.

Thank you for reading this. I look forward to your love and support.

If you have liked this article, please share it at your favorite social networks.

Balroop Singh.