Personal Transformation Secrets

Personal TransformationThere are thousands of stories about personal transformation and the oft-repeated word is – positivity! The word seems to suggest that the moment we write that word down in our journal, the moment we start thinking about it, change within us starts.

While the stories of personal transformation inspire, there are many people whose inspiration lasts for a few moments, who like to wallow in self-pity and don’t make any conscious effort to move on from the dumps of depression.

Positive thoughts need constant ignition. That’s why one appointment with a therapist is not sufficient. What does a therapist do? He just listens to our disappointing thoughts and veers them towards positivity.

I can say with great conviction that positivity does help but personal transformation is a very slow process. So slow that we don’t even notice it.

In many cases it doesn’t occur at all…why?

  • Negative influence around us impedes our first step, detrimental discussions about persons who work against our progress especially at work place sway our thoughts so much that we fail to see how much such people can harm our personality.
  • Getting stuck in the past, whining about who hurt us and why and submerging ourselves in the sea of sadistic thoughts doesn’t let us move beyond what we are and what we wanted to be.
  • Obsession of success can take us far into the barren lands of transience, which seem to be so alluring that we lose connection with our own self as well as our treasured relationships.
  • Arrogance of wealth and power refuses to knock us down its exalted pedestal, from where we see ourselves as perfect.
  • All those persons who ride high on the clouds of perfection refuse to accept that they could become better persons.

I know a few who don’t even possess the courage to acknowledge that they had hurt somebody at some juncture of life, knowingly or unknowingly. Some are those who continue to hurt and say ‘why should I change now?’ They believe that people deserve the treatment that has been meted out to them because of their imperfections. Ironically they refuse to see that nobody is perfect!

If you want to change yourself…

Accept your inadequacies:

Do you consider acceptance of your weaknesses equivalent to lowering of your self-esteem? Has self-love created a rift between you and your dear ones? If so, it is time to introspect. You may be aware of the reasons; the moment you acknowledge them in your heart; you could initiate personal transformation.

Get in touch with your inner self:Personal transformation quote

Do you sweep embarrassing issues and questions under the carpet? Do you postpone their discussion? Do you live in the world of denial? There must be some fears and insecurities, which could be hampering your growth. Unless you let them reveal themselves and make peace with them, personal transformation doesn’t ensue.

Cultivate kindness:

A kind heart overlooks all mistakes and forgives all. Do one kind act everyday. It could be as little as smiling at somebody. Kindness is immensely cathartic for the body and the soul. It calms our nerves and introduces us to empathy. It enhances our confidence and provides a strange satisfaction. Studies have revealed that kind people are happy and healthy.

Understand success:

Success may be an important goal of your life but it loses its meaning when we shoot past other aspects of life. Success is being happy, being at peace with yourself; being able to look after yourself and being content. A successful person is the one who is emotionally balanced. Addiction to success often proves self-detrimental. The corridors of success are illuminated more by our emotions.

“Transformation is not automatic. It must be learned; it must be led.” – W. Edwards Deming.

We have to allow ourselves to become a better person. You can read more about personal enhancement in my latest book.

Have you ever struggled with frustrations? Do negative thoughts pester you?

Thank you for reading this. Please add your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.

If you have liked this article, please share it at your favorite social networks.

Balroop Singh.

 

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Emotional Constraints Of Circles…How To Break Free?

circles-of-life

Playing in circles have been the games of children, the most memorable one – ‘I wrote a letter to my father, on the way I dropped it…’ Circles never release us even when we grow out of those childhood games.

Emotions define us and make us human but they weaken us, as they possess the power to drag us down and go round and round in circles.

Life itself is an uncanny circle, William Shakespeare described it so well in his poem “The Seven Ages Of Man.” Can you escape it? Can you separate the emotional aspects of spheres that keep entangling you?

Natural gifts of the sun and the moon accentuate the role of circles in our lives. Whosoever thought that a marriage can be solemnized by going around in circles around the holy fire (fire-deity) must have got inspired from these truths of nature.

They overlooked the fact that moon doesn’t appear to be in its form all the time and the sun is too hot, symbolic of the heat generated by a marriage. They also ignored that when a sun is enclosed by clouds, it becomes powerless.

When you go round and round in circles, you don’t reach anywhere. It can be very agonizing and frustrating. Nothing seems to work according to your wishes and plans.

Whether it is a marriage or a stressful relationship, a job that you can’t afford to quit or family affairs that make you go round and round, offering no viable solution, life can become a struggle.

“Round and round in circles we go, clutching at successes we never grasp, endlessly tripping over the same old failures. Truly, life is the misery we endure between disappointments.” – Joe Abercrombie

All you need is change but it could seem impossible, scary and grim. My friend Lisa Thomson often speaks about it and how liberating change can be. But there are caveats attached to life-changing decisions and they are not easy. Emotional restrictions raise their heads most fiercely.

The struggle continues and sucks life out of you every single day.

When stepping out of the circles is not possible, liberation from asphyxiating circumstances can be done in our own way by the following steps, one at a time. Remember – ‘a single step can make the longest journey.’

Acceptance: If you don’t want to change, you need to accept the fact. It would bring some mental peace and calmness in the charged atmosphere. Certain things never change. Some people refuse to accept their role in creating unpleasantness. Learn to find your strength and confidence by leaving them with their perceptions. You can never change them.

Set your standards: Live according to your own desires and principles. Don’t sacrifice yourself and your own happiness for others, whosoever they may be. Never feel fettered to the ground situation. Think positive and follow the sunshine. Dark clouds have to disintegrate one day.circles-of-life

Live life in your own way: Don’t get intimidated or influenced by the emotions of others. Do what seems right and start taking your own decisions. Nurture self-love for healthy mental attitude. Compassion for our own self is equally important. Stop accepting excuses.

Lower your expectations: You may remain your former self and let your goodness permeate your surroundings. Be positive but don’t expect anything in return. Let that message pass around to all who try to annoy you with their petty acts.

Nurture hope. If you don’t have any hope from people around you, if they have disappointed you each time, have faith in yourself. You deserve better surroundings and better opportunities. Eventually you will find them. Karma steps in you reward you for your patience and benevolence.

Life may be circular but its circumference keeps getting wider for us to grow.

I am sure you can relate to these circles of life. Have you tried to step out? I would call that a very valiant attempt. Getting off the merry go round and boarding it again is indeed intrepid. Please share your thoughts about it.

Thank you for reading this. Please add your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.

If you have liked this article, please share it at your favorite social networks.

Balroop Singh.

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