How to Heal Emotional Hurts?

How to heal emotional hurts
No sane soul hurts deliberately. Yet hurts happen. Today I want to discuss  emotional hurts, which remain deep-rooted, which keep gnawing at our hearts, as we don’t want to share them for fear of ridicule or exposing our relationships, which may appear to be loving and smooth.

Why do people hurt?

  •  Insensitivity towards others
  • Lack of emotional quotient
  • Lack of communication skills
  • Jealousy
  • Arrogance
  • Vindictive attitude
  • Own selfish motives.

Selfish people never think of others. Even if they do, their own pursuits are so overwhelming for them that they are able to justify themselves. They buy peace with self- arguments and get rid of the guilt of hurting their own near and dear ones.

Sometimes vile and toxic people around them encourage them in their goals, by glorifying their efforts to guide them. Such people snatch them away from their most loving friends and relatives.

Sometimes we hurt others unknowingly. We use such words, which pierce the hearts, without realizing their impact.

Have you ever felt the depth of hurt? It is much deeper than we think it to be.

Emotional hurts leave longer shadows behind them. Unlike physical hurts, they are invisible but the marks they make on our psyche are indelible. While some hurts may be subtle, some stare starkly at us and become a burden.

Time is said to be a great healer but it doesn’t really heal. It just fades the memories of hurts. They keep returning in your solemn moments, in your dreams and when ever you think of that person.

 SELF- HEALING

We keep burying emotional hurts into the deepest crevices of our hearts and only address them when they become unbearable. At this point we think of going to a therapist who directs us back to our own efforts!

So self-healing is the only answer and that too requires a huge effort:

  • Keep the thoughts of hurts away by engaging in meaningful tasks.
  • If you must think, try to analyze why you were hurt and who is responsible.
  • There is no harm in admitting if you are the cause. It will help in keeping your mind clear of all the clutter.
  • Accept the fact that the person who has hurt you is no longer attached to you; he or she doesn’t care about your feelings.
  • It is better to detach yourself.
  • Be Positive. Respect yourself.
  • Forgive and forget. Forgiveness is the first step to self-healing.Emotional detachment

It is very painful to detach, I know. That is why probably, time is given the greatest credit but in reality, only self-efforts have the healing power.

Try the following tips:

 Talk to yourself: Self- talking is a very powerful tool in our hands. Let the talk go on and on, don’t try to give it a direction. Let the positive and negative thoughts flow on. When they exhaust themselves, then sift through your thoughts and pick up the positive ones to convince yourself that it is not your fault.

It is just a phase: Accept that you are just going through a bad phase. Everybody has to. You don’t have any control over the circumstances but you can control the damage, which the present situation might do to your mental and emotional health.

Keep yourself busy: If you have work, bury yourself in that. It will keep you away from the depressive thoughts for a while. In case you don’t have a regular routine to keep yourself busy, read a good book, visit a friend, go and meet somebody whose company gives you relief and comfort.

Share your thoughts: Don’t conceal emotional wounds. When you speak out your mind, half of the burden wears off. You can discuss your anxieties and fears with a person you trust, a friend or your mother or sister, whosoever you are comfortable with. It gives immense relief and you will feel lighter.

Cry your heart out: As you share your feelings, let the tears flow. They bring about catharsis and have an amazing healing power. The pain of your heart will melt away for the time being. Let all the thoughts of regret, guilt and forgiveness visit you again and again and let them flow away.

Pour your heart out: Write down all your thoughts, the remorse and the censure and your answers to all the questions that are troubling you. It will give you a strange self- satisfaction and self-healing.

Listen to good music: Good music is a great healing balm; it takes us out of our situation and provides a soothing touch to our heart and soul. “For me, singing sad songs often has a way of healing a situation. It gets the hurt out in the open into the light, out of the darkness.” – Reba McEntire

Have faith in yourself. Self- therapy requires great determination to push aside your anguish and have immense faith in your efforts.

Can hurts ever be forgotten?

We try to deny them in our mind. We tell ourselves that they don’t matter to us but emotional wounds get deeper if we don’t acknowledge them.

Thank you for reading this. Please share your valuable reflections, as they are much appreciated.

If you have liked this post, please share it at your favorite social networks.

Balroop Singh.

 

 

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Past Or Present – What Is Your Choice?

Past or present?
While it is natural to think about the past, which holds our memories and mistakes and inspires us to learn from them to move ahead, living in the present is the most worthwhile experience.

Living in the present moment, far away from the broodings of past and the apprehensions of uncertain, unpredictable future is so prudent, practical and sensible. Yet we keep drifting back and forth, seeking solace in the past memories and living in the illusionary world of future.

Why do people dwell in the past?

  • Stressful events of the past cling to us, making us think what went wrong, who was at fault.
  • Guilt doesn’t dissolve till we have ruminated enough, fixed responsibility or found a solution.
  • Negative thoughts are more powerful and require extra energy to dispel them.
  • Some hurtful memories keep haunting us.
  • Some shocking discoveries about the family could be difficult to forget.
  • Emotional distress takes a longer time to heal.

If you too get mired in the regrets and hurts of the past, I must tell you that I have not come across a better description of living in the present:

“I lit the candles and said out loud, “what am I waiting on? Someone to sell them in a garage sale for a quarter after I die?” And it was beautiful. And the smell was even more incredible than I remembered.”–Paula Heller Garland

Whenever abrasive past stands before me, I talk it out of my mind. I write a poem on the shadows of past and bury this demon with more words.

I savor the present moment. This is the only asset in our hands. Live it happily. Give your best to this moment for you will cherish it tomorrow.

I have always lived in the present, accepted the misfortunes, made peace with the disappointments, delighted in its little blessings, found happiness in whatever the present moment has offered and sat in the shadows of sadness to let the dark moments of my past pass by.Make peace with your past

Living in the present

  • Keeps us focused
  • Frees us from anxiety
  • Encourages us to put in our best
  • Makes us emotionally strong
  • Improves our mental health
  • Gives happiness that lasts

What prevents us from living in the present?

We are constantly judging ourselves, we keep talking to ourselves, finding fault with our decisions and disturb our own serenity of mind.

Past connects us with our present, which could be distressing due to our own faults.

It also depends on the kind of personality we have. Some people are brooders. They are prone to negative thinking. Doubts dominate their thoughts and anxiety flows in their veins. This anxiety ruins the little moments we could savor!

Research has shown that focusing on the past reduces the power of positive emotions.

It is very natural to think about the future and onerous to forget the past completely. Present stems from the past and steers us into the future. These links cannot be snapped. Perfectly fine! Don’t snap those links.

Living in the present doesn’t mean de-linking from the past or stop planning for the future. It just means protecting our mind from negative thoughts, leading a more meaningful life, staying focused on our goals, hoping for the best and be happy.

 “If you are depressed, you are living in the past
  If you are anxious, you are living in the future
 If you are at peace, you are living in the present.”
 –Lao Tzu  

Do you live in the present?  Do the ghosts of your past haunt you? Is the planning for future overwhelming?

Thank you for reading this. Please share your valuable reflections, as they are much appreciated.

If you have liked this post, please share it at your favorite social networks.

Balroop Singh.

 

My New Book Explores The Connection Between Emotions And Relationships

Are you emotionally healthy? Do you take pride in your relationships? Do you nurture your relationships with care? Have you passed the test of stormy weather that keeps knocking at our doors to warn us that relationships are brittle?

Many such questions keep cropping up in our minds.

Some of the answers bring an audacious awakening.

We wish we had known these questions well before facing a break up.

We wish we had the time and maturity to deal with our relationships.

It is human tendency to take all relationships for granted. Probably we pick that up from our basic relationship with our mother whose unaltered and unconditional love never fades.

We forget that relationships need care and attention; they require a constant sprinkling of sentiments to sparkle.

We forget that relationships are connected with emotions and the latter are extremely molten…flowing at will, just like an animate volcano or a stormy sea.

The sea of emotions keeps becoming wider and deeper if we don’t dive in to take stock of what requires attention.

The webby waves entangle us unless we learn to deal with them.

I have been floundering and learning every moment, often on the verge of emotional inhibitions. I have always emerged stronger. I have been sharing my thoughts and emotions with you for almost two years now.

It is time to launch a book on emotions.

emotional truths

Welcome to the launch of my third book.

This book will guide you how you can keep pace with embellishing your thoughts and channelize your emotions, which can be trained to veer into a positive direction.

This book will infuse a new thrill and vitality into all your relationships. Happiness will seem a real possibility.

Healthy relationships depend on emotional quotient and emotional balance, which can be nurtured.

Can we stop the flow and speed of emotions? Can we learn from their radiance, their cheerful bounce, their twists and twirls? This book unravels their depth and resilience in handling the stormy weather, which is knitted into the fabric of all our relationships.

We look around and feel – ‘Nothing is perfect’… dreams get shattered, hopes are belied; aspirations delude and the opportunities elude us. The clouds have the power to conceal the sunshine and our radiance fails to ignite positive thoughts.

This book will answer all those questions; give a new hope to your dreams and usher in a new dawn.

“I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.” – Oscar Wilde

I am sure nobody would like to be at the mercy of anger, impatience and impetuousness, which play havoc with our relationships.

I am sure you would bless me after reading this book as it focuses on appreciation, calmness, emotional resilience and people.

If you have liked to be a part of this launch, please share it at your favorite social networks. I would like my book to reach all your friends.

Please click on the link:

You can download a FREE copy of this book for the next three days – from 14 August 2015 to 16 August 2015, midnight.

Thank you for your support. Please add your valuable comments, they are much appreciated.

Balroop Singh.

Visages Of Joy

When you meet joy Joy
Even in that momentary experience,
This ephemeral emotion unravels
All those colors of contentment

Which sparkle from within,
Transcending gloomy alleys of angst
Spreading shimmering beauty
Which can keep gleaming around us

If we breathe it in, savoring soft sounds
If we gather those divine resonances
If we overlook the prickly peeves
If we revere this exquisite emotion

It can become a perennial stream
A vibrational intuitive sensation
An inward journey, a self-healing step
If we learn to tap into its enormous energy!

It can define the quality of our life
Which brings delectable delight
To divert our attention from
The real robbers – ambitions, aspirations

If we halt, if we look around
If we take a break, to relish life
To appreciate the aroma of living
To escalate the whiffs of joy.

© Balroop Singh.

You can click on Sublime Shadows of Life by Balroop Singh to read more such poems.

If you have liked this poem, please share it at your favorite social networks.
Have you met joy? Please share that experience. Thank you for your support. Please add your valuable comments, they are much appreciated.