Where Should I Begin?

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Last night
An angel of forgiveness
Woke me up…
I was wonderstruck to see
Blue and purple light
In my room
 
She sat by my bedside
We had a cozy conversation
Caressing my locks, she counseled…
‘Forgive them dear,
Forgive them all
Don’t carry any affliction’
 
Abrasively I looked up
The pain in my eyes dwindled
With the promise – ‘I will try.’
A strange light spread around me
Immersed me completely
And my Angel smiled.
 
But I don’t know where to begin
Should I begin with childhood robbers?
Or devils I encountered
While growing up
Or tyrants
Who tried to snatch my freedom of speech?
 
Or those hypocrites
Who took me for a ride?
Or those who feigned friendship?
The list may be long
But the purple light of forgiveness
Is all around me, encompassing all.
 
© Balroop Singh
All rights reserved.

You can click on Sublime Shadows of Life by Balroop Singh to read more such poems.

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How To Deal With Insensitive People

Insensitive People

Insensitive people are all around us in the form of friends, family members, bosses and masked well-wishers. They spread their negative energy around us with their desires, diktats and decrees.

I have already written why people are insensitive, which is easier to understand than dealing with their behavior.

Often we get weary of the environment such people create and try to shun them yet we have to face them if they happen to be around us in the form of our family members. If they can’t be avoided then we must figure out the ways to deal with them.

My immediate boss was quite insensitive and judgmental. Most of my colleagues would try to please her by nodding their heads to whatever she said or expected. I could never be herded like cattle and so was always the target of her wrath.

I have had an early introduction to insensitivity, which endowed me with some capability to face such people.

Here are some ways to deal with them…

Understand them:

It is very easy to condemn others and arrive at our own conclusions about the way people behave. We never give a thought to why they do so. We feel it is not our problem!

How people treat you is all about them…and their personality, which reveals their real self in a subtle manner. You have to be intuitive enough to pick up those vibrations.

People react to your personality, potential and work according to their own perception, capability and emotional intelligence.

When people are rude, negative emotions dominate their behavior.

  • They could be anguished by their own frustrations
  • They could be struggling with their own problems
  • Somebody could have instigated them

When they are disrespectful

  • They could be biased
  • They could have been raised like that
  • They consider themselves self-righteous
  • They could be doing it out of spite

When they are indifferent

  • They can’t think beyond their own selves
  • They consider emotions to be pointless
  • They could be weak-minded

When they are disloyal

  • They are guided by their own insecurities
  • They could be self-centered
  • Financial instability cripples their thoughts

If we try to understand their circumstances, we may develop empathy for such people.

Easier said than done? I agree! But if your spouse happens to be insensitive to your love and concern, if he/she doesn’t acknowledge what all you do to make the home a happy place, how much effort goes in bearing insensitivity, you can’t just walk out of his/her life.

You have to devise ways to deal with insensitivity.

Convey your hurts, talk to them:

I would not like to say that it is easy. Only a patient and understanding person can do so as a lot of energy and emotions are involved in talking to such a person who can’t see logic. Each time you try to explain your view, they tune off as they live in their own world.

They have never been taught to respect the opinion of others. They fail to see beyond their own hurts, which appear to be mammoth. It can be emotionally draining but if you want to keep them in your lives, keep the channel of communication open.Talking helps

They would try to duck your questions.

They would prefer to remain silent.

They could even lie to avoid any discussion.

Why? Because they don’t want to expose their weaknesses. Actually such people are very weak at heart. Kindness doesn’t reach them…probably they have never seen it and feel confused.

I wouldn’t say you should give up your own kindness. This is a testing time but how far can you push your limits and let the other person cross your boundaries is what matters.

A reminder – Never accept emotional abuse. Self-love and self-esteem should never be trespassed while dealing with such persons.

Love and kindness doesn’t flow naturally, it has to be nurtured. If the other person doesn’t respond well, if strife is all that is around you, keep your thoughts positive. Positivity can be miraculous but you are the best judge to decide whether it is the time to step away.

Learn to take your own decisions. Too much dependence and too much goodness can be frustrating. Learn to strike a balance between love and servitude.

Sometimes give them back:

Use strong words to convey what you have been saying softly. Remind them how much you have done to boost their respect. Sometimes they understand the language of reprimand better than modesty.

If they withdraw into their shell, challenge them out. Tell them to convey their grievances openly. This step may reveal the reasons of their insensitivity.

I am sure you would emerge emotionally stronger, resilient and wise. The best lessons are learnt in the furnace of living through challenging situations.

Do you know any such person who is insensitive? Have you ever experienced the stress of dealing with such people? I would love to hear your views.

Thank you for reading this. Please share your valuable reflections.

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Balroop Singh.

 

 

Live Life Your Own Way

happiness_quote_3

‘Do not dilute your joy’, says my friend.
What if others try to rob you?
What if you think they are right!
What when people drag you down…
Deliberately designed efforts
At concealing their mean malice

You can figure out but deny
You give a benefit of doubt.
When doubts prevail around
Listen to your heart
It knows you well
Only your heart can tell!

Disappointments don’t live long
Setbacks stay in your backyard
You just need to shrug them off
If you must dilute
Dilute judgments, disregard distress
Savor little moments of happiness.

Let the glow of positive thoughts
Permeate around your home
Let their incandescence
Scare the robbers away
If you must dilute
Dilute fears, disregard doubts

When you refuse
To be cowed down by circumstances
When you possess the potential
To turn tables around
Dilute your own efforts
As pleasing people is futile.

Live life your own way
Hold your joy in high esteem.
No one can control your thoughts
Till you let them
Listen to your heart, my friend
It knows you well.
© Balroop Singh.

You can click on Sublime Shadows of Life by Balroop Singh to read more such poems.

If you have liked this poem, please share it at your favorite social networks.

Thank you for your support. Please add your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.

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I Learnt To Be Positive On The Way…

Positive thinking

I have always dared, dared to speak out my mind, dared to take my own decisions, dared to quit whenever I wanted to.

It was not easy and it wasn’t permitted. Yes! Permissions have to be taken… sadly at each and every aspect of life!

People like to hold you back because they want to control you; they could be insecure or jealous. They restrict your decisions to remain all-important in your life. You like to listen to them thinking they could be right, they could be your well-wishers but the reality could be quite different and you may never even know what made them hold you back from pursuing your own dreams, taking your own decisions and acquiring confidence.

Self belief:

There was a time when I didn’t trust myself but a strong self-belief kept me going till I discovered all the distrust factors were external, that they were not my own fears, they were created. When the realization dawned, I was amazed at my strength and conviction.

Intuition:

There is no doubt that it built over the years but all those controlling factors endowed me with an intuition beyond imagination. They contributed to my fortitude and determination to forge ahead.

Decisiveness:

I dared to resign my first job out of my own desire to set up my home and look after my child. I did that for my own happiness but it took me far beyond…I could spend blissful moments with my child, nurturing her impressionable years, adding joy to her infancy with my presence and those memorable moments stand before me now and smile at my scoffers who condemned my irresponsible decision of quitting a very secure job.

Candor:

I could never wear a mask to please others; I could never pay a compliment if the words didn’t emerge from my heart; I could never be pressurized to follow the crowd.

I would reiterate that it is not easy. You get disliked and judged, people assume you are arrogant and may even shun you. My mettle steered me through those challenges and I could find some gems in the form of loving friends who understand me and admire me for what I am.Dare to be different

Resilience:

I was never ashamed of my critics. I learnt from them not to judge without really understanding people.

I didn’t flinch when people picked on me; tried to bully me into believing what they think was right. I learnt to be kind and empathetic.

I refused to show my tears to the world for treating me harshly. I learnt to be resilient and shared my agonies with the trusted few.

I poured my heart into poetry and got acquainted with another aspect of my own self, lying latent within me.

I emerged stronger than my own self and was amazed at the power we have within us to deal with the tribulations of life.

All because I dared and I am proud of that.

Balroop Singh.