Why Some People Don’t Smile?

Smile with flowers
Nature smiles through flowers

Walking by my favorite creek, which is surrounded by thick green cover, sending vibes of peace, interrupted just by the soft sound of flowing water, I look at a squirrel that pauses by to smile at me and my thoughts jump faster than my furry friend, wondering…why are human smiles waning?

A smile sends vibes of positivity; it may not know any language but it lightens up the atmosphere; connects us and eliminates doubts that may surround us. It is said to “fit the lock of everybody’s heart.”

The natural smiles of a child convey that smiling has been in our DNA since time immemorial. Where do they go when we grow up?

Smiling is juvenile:

People who don’t smile connect a stern face with machoism. They keep emotions under wraps to accentuate their power and strength. Lack of smile shows their attitude, their emotional balance, style and social status. Incorporating sensitivity in the upbringing of boys is a recent development, which reveals the importance of emotions. But an expressionless face only reflects arrogance and a clamor for supremacy.

Smiling invites trouble:

If you have been raised in a conservative society, you know smiling at strangers could create problems for women. It could send a wrong signal to a guy who interprets your smile in his own way. He could follow you till your home, try to talk to you, make lewd gestures or may dream of dating you. The first advice that is given to girls in such societies: ‘Don’t smile.’ Later it becomes a habit.

Smiling can be misconstrued:

Workplaces are also hubs of hollow rumors. Your ingenuous smile at a colleague or boss could be misinterpreted by co-workers who quickly arrive at conclusions that you are seeking a favor or you are eager to please them. Wearing a smile like an attractive attire could prove to be detrimental for some while it may give a boost to the career of those who don’t care for gossip.

Smiling makes them vulnerable:

People who don’t want to communicate, who consider themselves to be superior but are actually weak and insecure, choose to wear a strong exterior in order to hide their true self. They wear a mask of toughness. They have probably faced too many snubs to appreciate the value of a smiling face. For them, smiling is superfluous and relationships immaterial.

Some people forget to smile due to storms of life that had knocked them down. The cauldron of circumstances mold them into hard nuts, fears convert them into indifferent individuals who find it hard to discern light within. Grief pushes them into an abyss of darkness, which seems natural to them. They have to make a special effort to smile and that too when they are told to.

Some people don’t smile because their profession doesn’t let them. How can you expect police officers and lawyers to smile warmly? Models are told to keep a straight face so that onlookers appreciate the ensemble they display rather than their looks.

A real smile stretches beyond the face; it touches your heart, diffusing warmth and friendship whereas a fake smile exposes itself effortlessly. I am sure nobody likes a fake smile yet some people carry them with confidence.

“A smile puts you on the right track. A smile makes the world a beautiful place. When you lose your smile, you lose your way in the chaos of life.” – Roy T. Bennett.

Do you smile to add beauty to your surroundings?
Thank you for reading this. Please share your valuable reflections, as they are much appreciated.

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Balroop Singh.

 

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Did I Lie?

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Did I say I forgave all?
Then why do memories gnaw
Digging deeper at the fissures

Did I say I remain calm?
Then what is this brewing inside
Bursting the seams of my heart

Did I say I have moved on?
Then why are my feet firmly embedded
As if shackled by unknown forces

Did I say I chose to fly high?
Then why are my wings
Clipped by emotional shears

Did I say I could see light within?
Then why am I brooding
Watching waning light

Did I say I know thorny paths?
Then why am I edging away
Into the covert comfort of flowers

Did I say I sleep well?
Then why am I fighting
The demons hanging from my ceiling

Did I lie to myself?
The charade stands exposed!
I can no longer wear a mask.
© Balroop Singh

The above poem is an excerpt from my latest release ‘Timeless Echoes’ and I have shared it to thank my dearest blogger friend Lisa who has mentioned it in her review at GoodReads as her favorite poem from my book. Lisa has been one of my earliest friends and visited my blog when it was more like a ghost town. Her consistent support has put many smiles on my face. Sending you hugs of gratitude on the wings of poetry dear Lisa. Many thanks for reviewing my book.

You can click here for more poetry.

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Thank you for your support. Please add your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.

Do You Admire People Pleasers?

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Could you walk an extra mile with me? They agree.
Could you carry this bag for me? They do.
Could you supervise my lunch today? They get the real message of putting an extra effort.
Could you help me and give a daily report of your colleagues? They feel honored.

Bosses exult at their loyalty and sincerity.
Friends mock at their “loving nature.”
Siblings bully them into believing that they are loved.
Spouses manipulate them to get things done.
The acquiescence and complacence of people pleasers baffles me.

Who are they?

People pleasers are gentle, kind and loving persons. They can never confront an unpleasant situation and try to diffuse it with their goodness. Their intentions may be noble but they boomerang. People start taking them for granted. They lose their identity and get tossed by the tides of time and life.

They don’t want to rock their boat but choose to sail in it; oblivious of the fact that it can capsize any moment with the emotional baggage they carry within themselves. True love eludes them.

Some of them are highly ambitious and focused. They know how to gatecrash to the right position just through pleasing tactics. I marvel at their pleasing skills!

Why do they please?

Do they please to get loved? Yes, they believe love can conquer all till they face the ugly truth of fake love.
Do they please to get a position? Yes, and many succeed even at the cost of getting enslaved.
Do they respect themselves? I have my doubts but their perspective could be different. I have seen them justify their actions.
Do they ever introspect? If they do, I wonder how do they justify crushing their spirit for the sake of others?

In professional relationships, people pleasing may be rewarding even at the cost of self-ignominy, stress and overwork but at a personal level, people pleasers do reach at the brink of breakdown.

Do you think they live for others? I don’t think so.
Some live in the make-believe world of self-admiration, thinking they are exceptional human beings, born to be altruistic. Others have some goals in mind, which they want to accomplish even if they have to kiss the shoestrings of their boss.
Often they fail to detect abusers and manipulators around them and slowly start accepting emotional abuse as a part of life.

Can they be trusted?

People pleasers are extremely selfish and can never be good friends. They are opportunists and would grab every chance that can be twisted for their own benefit. Relationships are secondary for them and their true self is unknown even to them. I have seen them changing their colors according to the situation. They know how to save their skin and win some brownie points too!

Have you met any people pleasers? I am waiting to hear your perspective.

Thank you for reading this. Please share your valuable reflections, as they are much appreciated.

If you have liked this post, please share it at your favorite social networks.

Balroop Singh.

 

Celebrating 100th #Poetrychallenge with Colleen

Poetry challenge rules have always intimidated me but I would like to grab this golden opportunity of celebrating with Colleen whose weekly poetry challenge has accomplished 100th milestone and she has given a free choice of words to write a Tanka.

Tanka about self judgment

My inner critic loves
To reprimand softly but passionately
A sentinel of emotions
Who apprises me of the progress
Made on the arch of consciousness.
© Balroop Singh

Freedom is the mother of inspiration. Thank you dear Colleen, I am still learning to write Tanka, Haiku and Senryu, one step at a time.

You can click here for more poetry.

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Thank you for your support. Please share your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.

Balroop Singh.

I Am Soul #PoetryBook

Please welcome my blogger friend and a poet par excellence Yecheilyah (e-SEE-li-yah, affectionately nicknamed EC) who shares an excerpt from her inspiring and soulful poetry book, ‘I Am Soul.’ BLOG TOUR

WHY I WRITE BLACK

Because flowers grow in strange places
like tattered pieces of wood and recycled paper.
Because history is frostbitten
and winter refuses to be comforted by the sun.
Bluish-white and numbed pain
cold skin and a prickling feeling.
Because the sky don’t stay dark forever,
but light ain’t taught in history class.
Because some skirts
are too heavy
to lift without permission.
Because Dust Tracks on The Road
was subtracted chapters.
Because some truths
are too big to sacrifice
on American altars.
Because Zora died broke
and Nina died sad.
Because their voices still sing.
Because strange fruit still swings.
Because ignorance in this world
is worth more than rubies
and diamond gems
are a worthless treasure.
Because no one has picked up the pieces
of truth
underneath the rubble
of bombed out churches
on 16th Street
Because little girls ain’t little girls no more
Little girls ain’t nothing
but crushed bones
and melted skin,
A strike of disobedience
against premeditated sin.
Because hope is stronger than despair.
Because freedom is worth more
than all the
raisins in the sun.
© YecheilyEC

Bio:
Yecheilyah (e-SEE-li-yah, affectionately nicknamed EC) is an Author, Blogger, and Poet and lives in Marietta, GA with her wonderful husband. She has been writing poetry since she was twelve years old and joined the UMOJA Poetry Society in High School where she learned to perfect her craft. In 2010, at 23 years-old, Yecheilyah published her first collection of poetry and in 2014, founded Literary Korner Publishing and The PBS blog where she enjoys helping other authors through her blog interviews and book reviews. The PBS Blog has been named among Reedsy’s Best Book Review blogs of 2017 and 2018 and has helped many authors in their writing journey. I am Soul is her fourth collection of poetry.

Fun Facts about Yecheilyah:
She loves to laugh, and her favorite comedy TV show is Blackish
She is originally from Chicago, IL
She’s been married to her husband 8 years, together for 11 years
She believes eggs make everything better
She is a twin
She is addicted to reading and new notebooks
Her favorite desert is ice cream

I am Soul is now available on Amazon, for iTunes, Kobo, Barnes and Noble, and ScribdClick Here to choose your retailer.

 

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Atlanta, GA 30331

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