Expectations and Attachments Define Life

 

expectations

Recently I came across this statement, “The best way to get what you want is not want it.” The cynicism embedded in the above statement kept me awake for many hours. I had to pen down my thoughts to calm them. How can you call self-denial the “best way”? How can you quell your desires?

Expectation is a natural human instinct – a child expects attention, love and care. If he doesn’t get the basic care, his expectations don’t end there. He seeks them elsewhere.

Those children who grow up in misery and penury don’t get immune to expectations. Their eyes are always at the sky, anticipating all that they yearn for!

Our expectations flow like a stream that keeps widening as it touches the plains. The seeds of expectation are nurtured at a very early stage of life by our parents, teachers and friends.

This so called positive assertion of “giving up what you want” may have some spiritual connotation attached to it but tell that to a child or an adolescent and you would get the real looks! They may call you cynical; scoff at your advice and consider you too old to even interact with. Buddhist philosophy appeals only to the elderly.

Wants and desires are innate. They make us human. They are those streamers that inspire us to hang out despite the windy weather. They push us toward our goals, ignite a fire of excellence and lure us toward accomplishing more. Some of them lie dormant, waiting for the right opportunity.

Life would become meaningless and hollow without desires. True, they keep on multiplying; they may even disappoint us but without them all fun flies out of our lives. Expectations and attachments define life for us.attachments

Why attachments are essential: Initial attachments introduce us to people, they underline love for us and acquaint us with the basic values of bonding, care and respect. As children grow out of those attachments, ready to face the world, they feel connected with friends; they learn the value of love and nurture relationships to live a meaningful life.

What would life be without any attachments? All human emotions germinate from attachments, which may bind us emotionally but they keep us grounded to ennoble us. Only when we feel attached do we learn compassion. Solitude seems good only after having experienced all that human beings can offer to each other. Detachment is a mere word that has failed miserably despite its valuable aspects. When we try to detach, we have to snub what our heart says. Who would like to do that?

Needs have a profound connection with attachments. Why do you need a smart phone? Our grandparents could do without it yet somebody thought of better connections. Needs, however absurd they may seem, lead us to progress, to a better society and fulfilling life.

Desires keep us motivated; they encourage us to strive, to keep going despite all the odds. They shape us into better human beings. They add fresh dimensions to mundane aspects of life.

Giving up expectations and attachments is like giving up your hold on life. I am sure all of you would agree. Please share your reflections.

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Balroop Singh.

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Love That Comes Back

Love returns if it is pure

‘Can you change the music Nana?’ my three-year-old grandson spoke very softly.

The music that plays in my car is always of my liking, soft, romantic and sentimental songs of the 50s and 60s that one could never get tired of.

‘You don’t like it?’

‘We can play it at some other time,’… his answer amazed me! For a moment I thought I was talking to a mature person.

I looked back and both my stars smiled at me.

The distance from their school to our home is hardly two miles and within that much time, they have to share their prattle and listen to peppy music too!

‘Nana, please put it loud,’ he keeps on requesting, oblivious of the fact that soft music would never seem loud.

‘We don’t listen to a very loud music, dear’ I say in my grandmotherly style but my advice goes unheard.

‘Daddy always puts it super duper loud!’ he proudly declares.

I rummage through the old collection of CDs lying in the glove box of my car and stumble upon a peppy mix.

‘I can’t hear anything,’ he says while I am still loading the CD.

‘Wait.’

A squeal hits the roof! Louder! The demand doesn’t wane.

We reach home even before a single song could be heard and in a moment everything is forgotten, with new puddles to jump into and splashing water all over, making bubbles and catching them, pushing and apologising till I announce lunch time.

Time passes by like a whirlwind and everyday we heave a sigh of relief when these express trains go home. The treasured moments we choose to spend with our grandchildren are special because they testify that love returns, empty nest fills again with glee and giggles. I love the expression on their faces when they softly whisper… ‘Nana I love you.’

Each stage of childhood is awesome, each milestone precious, each hug emits the love of the whole world and we are glad we can share it more than their parents who are rushing (like once we did) to meet the challenges of life.

When my children flew out of my nest, I was heartbroken, wondering what is left in life, as our lives seemed to be buzzing only with them.

Slowly we learned to live without them, trying to detach.

This is one of the poems I wrote at that time:

Wheel Of Time…

We search
Those tiny hands, which eagerly held us
Those dainty feet, which needed balance
Those lovely eyes, which emitted brightness
Those soft tears which needed endearment
Those fleeting moments that slipped by.

We take pride in
That unconditional love we shared
That eagerly sought guidance we treasured
That much needed support for each other
That joy of giving
That pain of separation!

We know
The wheel of time moves on
New bonds, new ties ignite
Moments fleet, memories drift, shadows glide
There is always hope
At the horizon we seek.

You search
The future, we search the past
The quest is common, perceptions differ
We soar with you, the flight is slow
We’ll be together
As past merges into future.
© Balroop Singh, 2003

Love comes back

We did soar with them, waiting, hoping and trying to peep into future, which is here!
Another poem that complements the older one:

Love Returns

We have found
Those tiny hands we searched
Those little feet that follow us
Those big eyes that beckon
Those angelic smiles to reckon

We take pride in
New love that is cuddlier
New bonds that clasp us
Delightful moments that glow
Rivulets of respect that flow

Now we know
If it pervades our souls
Love returns in another form
Detachment is just an illusion
It unlocks the secrets of delusion

Let’s not forget
Whatever you give comes back
Selfless and real love returns
Instill the value of love
Pour it in its purest form.
© Balroop Singh, 2018

Time for introspection!

Thank you for reading this. Please add your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.

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Balroop Singh.

 

A Journey

You have always robbed meHope, positivity
Of my happiness, my triumph
Weakened my strength, my confidence
Rubbished my care, my concern
Hurt my most cherished memories.
 
Created a world for yourself
Beyond my reach…
My love can’t reach there anymore
Your incredible indifference
Could reach me… I’ve absorbed it.
 
But you have also given me
A flight of fantasy
To detach…to disengage
And enter my own exotic realm
Embark on a journey of my own…
 
I am immersed in a strange light
Streaming through me
Sending the waves of forgiveness
Spreading the message of love
Unconditional…absolute.
© Balroop Singh.

You can click on Sublime Shadows of Life by Balroop Singh to read more such poems.

If you have liked this poem, please share it at your favorite social networks.

Thank you for your support. Please add your valuable comments, they are much appreciated.


Learning To Smile

I hate to say I miss youlearning to smile
No tears can ever stream down.
These eyes now look at the sky
They find delight in your flight
Your smiling image looms large,
Tears recede instinctively.

Yet those promises haunt, hurt
I know you have forgotten them
I know you would never return
Your flight is beyond my reach.
Your selflessness, a far-fetched dream
Should I regret trusting my instincts?

If I ever meet you again
I’ll just look at your eyes
I will try to smile…
Smile and savor the moment
But we ‘ll live in our own world
A world devoid of anxiety and acrimony

The love that I hold in my heart
May have faded from your memory
Yet I treasure those mirthful moments
Of raising you with a smile
Of giving you wings to fly
You will forever be my dearest child.

© Balroop Singh.

You can click on Sublime Shadows of Life by Balroop Singh to read more such poems.
If you have liked this poem, please share it at your favorite social networks.
Thank you for your support. Please add your valuable comments, they are much appreciated.

I Have Understood…

Relationships

 

I have understood
The value of each tear
The pain of every reprimand
The depth of every sigh
Which deepens a relationship.

I have understood
The care of each moment
The delight of growing wiser
The sharing of those secrets
Leads to bonding of emotions

I have understood
The desire of birds to fly
The pride of perching high
The pain of separation
The joy of reunion

I wish I could also understand
Why relationships sour
Why friends turn hostile
Why emotions die
Why efforts to save them prove futile?

I know the day is not far
I know I have to explore more
Yes! I can see the mist retreating
My wisdom tooth is also almost upbeat
The weary wait is over and I retreat

My emotions have carried me too far
Its time to emerge from those caverns
And share what I have learnt…
Please wait!
© Balroop Singh.
This is a prelude to my next scheduled post, which I am holding till Friday. I know I don’t post on Fridays but you will understand when I share it. I am keeping the suspense and sharing this poem, which sums up my thoughts so succinctly about my next venture.

This is one of my earliest poems when I was just experimenting with this genre. You can click on Sublime Shadows of Life by Balroop Singh to read more such poems.

If you have liked this poem, please share it at your favorite social networks.
Thank you for your support. Please add your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.