Seven Secrets Of Arrogance

Arrogance is the big brother of ego; she likes him, pampers him and lets him have his own way. The overbearing pride that he carries around him keeps him in his own world of illusion.

A random statement of my friend who felt – almost everybody is arrogant shook me and I tried to analyze. Starting with my own personality, I realized how much arrogance I had shed, to change myself.

We all possess a certain amount of ego and to put it more mildly, we call it self- esteem. We can’t tolerate even a little bit of shove till we learn to live with the realization that feeling superior is a human trait, a way of the world.

“Young people are arrogant because they always associate with their own peers, those who are all really nothing but who would like to be very important.”—Friedrich Nietzsche.

Are you Arrogant? – a checklist:

• You judge people, without actually knowing them.
• You think you are more talented, more successful.
• You think you are always right.
• You like to be your own boss.
• You like to discuss your own achievements.
• You are a bad and impatient listener.
• You find pleasure in domineering.
• You like to assert your view on others.
• You look down upon humble and gentle people.

If the answer to even half of the above statements is true, you can be considered arrogant. Don’t worry, you can change yourself, if you wish to.

It is only when we associate with all kinds of people, when we face the harsh realities of life, when we come to know how big the attitudes can be… that we try to tame down our own ego.

We don’t want to be the same kind of persons, we detest!

Ego also gets humbled by the experiences of life, by the unforeseen turbulences, by the behavior of your own dear friends and siblings.

However, some people never try self-analysis, they don’t accept that they are arrogant. They secretly nurse their imperfections and put up a brave front.

1. Arrogant people put up a charade of being strong:

I got an opportunity of peeping into the hearts of such people who think they possess the best brains and can wield their power and authority to intimidate others. Actually they are very weak at heart, they get easily hurt, they hardly have the forbearance to hear even a difference of opinion.

2. They like to control through bullying:

They think bullying can easily scare others and rightly so. Some weak and even mentally strong persons accept subservience due to circumstances or their own compulsions, which reassures the arrogant bullies that they are the bosses and they can accomplish everything through superciliousness.

3. They are emotionally imbalanced:

Arrogance of thoughts and feelings greatly hampers the development of emotional quotient. They don’t believe in emotional attachments, as they don’t want to lose control over others…even their own emotional anchors. They refrain from showing their emotions and therefore their love never comes to the surface.

4. They are very lonely:

Such people pretend to have a lot of friends and even like to surround themselves, all the time with them but they know in their heart of hearts the loneliness, which they face, which they never share with anybody. It is this loneliness, which converts them into bullies. More than hatred, they need our compassion.

5. Aggression and anger are their weapons:

They get easily provoked and can get very aggressive. Anger is their favorite weapon, which they can use very effectively to frighten their victims. They don’t like to give any opportunity to anybody around them to clarify their position. They pounce upon them and can even get physical.

6. Self-love rules them:

They are very self-centered; their obsession of becoming the best and acquiring everything they want, rules their hearts. They never grow out of adolescent self-love. They are very insecure about their closest relationships and don’t like to give them even the basic freedom of expression. They are so much immersed in self-love that the desires and cravings of the other person seem insignificant to them.

7. They feign happiness:

Do you think such people can be happy? They appear to be, as they socialize a lot and like to make a lot of friends but soon all of them see through their behavior and their real self stands exposed. Real happiness eludes them as they leave many emotional scars behind and move ahead, without addressing them.

“The arrogance of men never ceases to amaze me. You all think everything has to do with you, and every woman has to desire you.”—Robert Jordan

Do you know arrogant people? Do you like them? How do you deal with them? I would love to hear your views.

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Balroop Singh.

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