‘Don’t be judgmental’
The comment hit me like a hurricane!
I have been learning for almost 8 years not to be judgmental.
I have tried quite hard to restrict my opinions.
Do I have to make such an effort even in case of my own sister?
She is one of the few persons with whom I speak out my mind, without thinking. She too?
‘Well, where did you pick up this word?’ I tried to tease her. She didn’t like my question. She reacted sharply as if I had assaulted her intellect!
Why are people so obsessed with words of appreciation all the time? Even our own dear ones, the nearest ones dislike an honest opinion!
Isn’t it good to have your own opinion? Many people resent that!
They want to hear what they think is right, thereby trying to change your opinion. The meek ones accept and learn to subdue their voice.
They want you to be guided by their own choices, their own likes and dislikes and may even stall your growth by keeping you away from forming your own views.
Is ‘judgmental’ a synonym of opinion, another question that cropped up instantly in my mind.
I went to thesaurus (so easy when it is just under your fingers) to understand this word better and found 42 synonyms of opinion.
Then my fingers danced over to dictionary and I found:
- Opinion, sentiment, view are terms for one’s conclusion about something. An opinion is a belief or judgment that falls short of absolute conviction, etc., are probably true or likely to prove so: political opinions; an opinion about art; In my opinion this is true.)
I have been trying to understand why an innocent and candid opinion is also construed as ‘judgment.’ Why are we so touchy about receiving opinions?
“If someone isn’t what others want them to be, the others become angry. Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.” – Paulo Coelho
An effort has always been made; in all ages by all societies to mold opinion yet there have been independent thinkers and revolutionaries who refused to be cowed down by fanatics, conformists and conservatives.
Social values, friends, communities and families control our thoughts.
While teaching students of an impressionable age, when they are struggling to break free from the unwritten decrees of society, I observed that 99% of them are guided by the opinion of their parents and cultural compulsions. They believe what is told to them.
Only few dare to form their own opinion, which gets molded much later in life and that too if they are not prejudiced.
Pre-judged assumptions of political and religious leaders reach us through media and advertising and they feed on our emotions, which can be easily swayed.
In an era of digital world where advertising barons and group discussions shout at us, it is easier to get influenced by what people are saying.
Why is it essential to nurture our opinion?
- It defines us and our personality
- It makes us an independent individual
- It sets us apart from others
- Society evolves with opinions or new beliefs
- Opinions have always ushered change
Many times we are encouraged to keep our opinions to ourselves. I could never be guided by such well-wishers!!
If you don’t have an opinion, you can be easily manipulated. Some people love to do that.
Have you met such people? How strong is your opinion about people and issues?
Thank you for reading this. Please share your valuable reflections.
If you have liked this article, please share it at your favorite social networks.