6 lessons I Learnt From Life…And Counting

Lessons from life

“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.” -Robert Frost

I wish life could have been as simple as that!

You may like to smile but you have to deal with those who frown at you.

We keep making plans and life passes by, reminding us that we can’t even hold a single second.

It is important to define your passion:

Life without a passion is a rudderless boat, which is tossed and turned by people around us. If you don’t know what you want from life, pause and reflect. Are you running the race without any goal in sight? Are you motivated enough to pursue that? Blessed are those who can discern the difference between passion and ambition.

I have heard the sane advice many times – ‘it’s never too late to follow your passion.’ But by the time I discovered it, I didn’t have the time and the money to put into it. My emotional bonds encompassed me so firmly that I couldn’t break free from them; my values didn’t permit me to unshackle myself. So I let it go.

I often tell myself…life is like that. It offered me love and duties and I found happiness in them. Acceptance makes us prudent, aligns us with the realities of life and makes us resilient.

Don’t bury your bucket list:

It may be very necessary to have a free spirit but we often ignore it for the sake of others. Our dear ones occupy a precious place in our hearts and we give prominence to them most of the times.

If we don’t do so we feel adrift, yearning for somebody who really cares, who occupies the most important place in our life.

Many times we forget our own self, our wishes remain buried within us; we call it love and benevolence but some corner of the heart keeps smoldering.

Pay attention to that corner of your heart. I created my bucket list but buried it in that corner. Many parts got charred before I turned my attention to that list. It is before me now and I have convinced myself… ‘it is never too late to fulfill your wishes, it is perfectly fine to add some more and I am grateful to be healthy to empty my bucket.

All dreams are achievable:

I realized it too late but I am glad I could develop that discerning eye. I have been dropping many dreams, as I couldn’t get the support, I thought they were risky, fears could convince me and I felt I was not ready. Time and tide don’t wait and so they carried them away while I looked helplessly.

We need the inspiration, the resources and the determination. Apparently one of them was missing. Probably I was too naïve to build up a crushing spirit, to rise above the challenges but I don’t have any regrets.

However, I know now that dreams remain dormant if we don’t share them, if we don’t work on them and if we get confounded by the fears. Nobody would pay any attention to them if you don’t.

Don’t judge:

I know it is basic human nature to form opinions, sometimes even without knowing others properly. I know we get this habit from our surroundings. All the time people around me judged me, without actually knowing why I am an introvert, why I hold my head up when I walk or why I don’t smile much. They even judged my sense of dressing up!

My boss called me arrogant but my close friends knew that I wore a mask to insulate myself from hurts. Some of my colleagues found me rude while some found me very warm and friendly.

Whose opinion would you accept? Judgments can be delusive.

I am not trying to say that I was never prejudiced. It was natural for me to pick up what I saw but life has taught me that judgments can be biased and they serve no useful purpose. Nobody likes to be judged.

I took all kinds of judgment in a positive manner, some of which helped me to learn smiling and become a better person.

Life quote

Don’t regret:

Nobody has a perfect life – so why have regrets? Accept them, live with them.

When I was too naïve, I couldn’t see through the tricks of people, I couldn’t understand when they played with my emotions but none of that is my fault, the onus falls on them.

If you couldn’t follow your passion or made a wrong choice, it is futile to grieve over the past, as you didn’t have any control over it. Regrets pull us backwards.

Did you hurt somebody? You may not have done it consciously. Was your apology unacceptable to a dear one? It doesn’t matter because you have done all you could.

I have always accepted such experiences as lessons that life has taught me. I have consistently moved ahead with fresh confidence and fortitude.

When we look at the positive aspect of those regrets, we can get over them.

Detachment is inevitable:

While it is easy to detach from money, power and people, emotional attachments control us. They cloud our judgment, they refuse to let go, they are like a lump in the throat, which can only be felt. Detachment may be distressing and paralyzing but it is the reality of life.

We have to let go. We have to give wings to our children who want to soar. We have to come back to square one and find new activities. Most cherished relationships end, near and dear ones pass on into another world and we have to accept.

Thank you for reading this. It was becoming too lengthy and therefore I have cut it short here only.

Please share your views about the lessons that life has taught you.

If you have liked this article, please share it at your favorite social networks.

Balroop Singh.

 

 

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44 thoughts on “6 lessons I Learnt From Life…And Counting

  1. This is such an honest and brave post from you, Balroop. Very refreshing to hear. It can be hard following our passion for many reasons as you mentioned. Sometimes it might not be the right time, sometimes we wonder if we are being silly doing what no one else is doing. I think a lot of the time we also put a lot of expectation on ourselves when we decide to follow our passion or think about going after it: we expect to be a certain place when we chase passion. However, each journey is unpredictable and out of our control. As you summed it up, “nobody has a perfect life”.

    Currently as I’m working on my first book, I keep telling myself to have no expectations, and in due time I will make it to the end. I would have thought that I would be a bit faster on my book. However, things have happened and this is not the case…but, no expectations – just enjoy the ride of passion, give and take 🙂

    1. Hi Mabel,

      Thank you for understanding the emotions behind this post. You know it very well that sometimes passions are defined or trampled upon by parents and guardians. In such a scenario children grow up with the feeling that having your own passion could be hurtful or unfulfilling. They agree to whatever path is chosen for them partly because of ignorance.

      I agree with you. If we keep our expectations low, we are in a better position to move ahead with a calm mind. Besides rushing through such projects serves no useful purpose.

      I wish you all the best for your upcoming book. Stay blessed 🙂

      1. “If we keep our expectations low, we are in a better position to move ahead with a calm mind.” So well said, Balroop. I will keep this sentence in mind 🙂

  2. Balroop! you never fail to come up with such inspiring posts…wonderful post!
    I think of everything written above, I feel having a passion is paramount…it’s energy that drives you and keeps you going. I’m not saying rest all are less important, but being passionate about something is like “auto-pilot”…it just keeps you going without stopping!
    looking for more such posts!

    1. Hi arv!

      I agree with you absolutely. It is the passion that inspires us, keeps us motivated and drives us towards success. It is the passion that keeps us going even when the path is thorny because we know we have chosen this trail, however challenging it may be.

      Thanks for the kind words of appreciation. Hope you follow your passion with all the zeal and fervor. 🙂

  3. Hi Balroop, this post touched my heart. Being passionate about something adds so much meaning to life.Not giving up on your dreams, having your bucket list in place means you always have something to look forward to, not regretting over what hasn’t happened leaves to free to make most from the present. As much as I believe in being non-judgmental, yet I feel somehow we should pay attention to the vibes we get from different people, though it might lead to being prejudiced at times. Finally, as you have said we must be attached enough to stand by our close ones and detached enough as to give them space. Thanks for sharing this wonderful post Balroop.

    1. Hi Somali,

      Yes, we do get negative vibes and those with intense intuitive power can catch them immediately but that should not make us judgmental…I learnt this slowly but having learnt it, I have felt it is better to keep away from such vibes. People who have the tendency to emit negative energy would be extremely judgmental. I pick up a positive lesson from them, which is… ‘I don’t want to be like them.’

      I have written on both the topics, how negative emotions help us and vibes. if you dig up the archives you can find more about such people. I can provide the links if you are interested in reading them.

      Thanks for a wonderful insight. Have a nice week.

      1. Balroop, I tend to keep distance if I am not sure of the vibes. Like sometimes people pretend to be very warm but it appears phoney, there’s no way to make out other than a gut feeling. Pls do share the links. Would like to read the posts.

      2. I agree with you Somali. My experience says that those who are too sweet and nice are actually fake. They may pretend but truth reveals itself sooner or later.
        here are the links: Happy reading! https://balroop2013.wordpress.com/2014/01/02/do-you-have-the-emotional-quotient-to-pick-up-positive-vibes/
        https://balroop2013.wordpress.com/2014/10/28/hypocritesdo-they-lack-emotional-understanding/
        https://balroop2013.wordpress.com/2014/12/09/how-to-detach-from-toxic-people-who-are-unavoidable/

  4. Hi Balroop,

    Wonderful post, yet again 🙂

    Yes, life is full of twists and turns, and we just need to accept what comes our way and learn to adjust ourselves, happily. Easier said than done, but that’s the best way I feel.

    True, never give up on your dreams as that’s what keeps the fire burning, and as long as there is hope, there is something to look forward to. We are no one to judge, nor should we regret the past, though take lessons from the mistakes made to get better. Letting go is the toughest, but such is life, what comes has to go…and if they are our near and dear ones, it can hurt a lot. I wish life was smoother at times, but perhaps it wouldn’t be the life we know it as, isn’t it?

    Thanks for sharing. Have a nice week ahead 🙂

    1. Hi Harleena,

      What struck me is – ‘we are nobody to judge’…well said but again it is easier said than done! If people understand this truth, life would be a bit easier. half of the life is spent thinking…’what would people say’ and it comes not from youngsters but from their own parents or friends or so called well-wishers. Those who try to break free from such norms are called ‘irresponsible’ and ‘callous’…to put it mildly.

      Thanks for liking this post and sharing your perspective, always appreciated. Have a nice week.

  5. An excellent article Balroop, just as you so reliably and frequently provide. I have always considered regret to be an utterly futile waste of emotional, physical and mental energy, and remain puzzled as to why it is so ubiquitous.

    With respect and best wishes, Hariod.

    1. Hi Hariod,

      Thank you so much for liking my thoughts, I feel humbled by your kind words.
      I agree that regret is a pointless emotion but like many others, it is an innate virtue, which is considered good as it drives us inwards to look at our imperfections or erroneous demeanor.
      I appreciate your standing by to share this insight. Kind regards 🙂

  6. Wonderful post Balroop.. you speak with open honesty what I think many of us have experienced during our lives..

    We evolve by passing through our various lessons, and one that for me which you so aptly pointed out is that Yes often we neglect our selves as we put on hold our own passions and ‘Neglect our own corner of our hearts’ So very true..

    You have given us much food for thought again as we continue to mould and reshape ourselves into the BEing we know we all can be..So often are afraid to shed the skins we have clothed ourselves in ..

    Yes not one of us is perfect.. But we can aim and strive to be better 🙂 and the best lesson for me was when I learnt to forgive ME.. and stop Judging Myself.. which then allowed me to let go of the ME that was, as I learnt to Love the ME I had become.. 🙂

    Love and Blessings dear friend Wishing you a wonderful week..

    1. Hi Sue,

      Your words are always dripping with warmth and kindness, thank you so much for sharing personal example of neglecting self-love. I always thought that self-love is equated with selfishness and therefore could never think of myself first, such were the values that I picked up from my culture and environment.

      Like you have rightly pointed out, it was hard for me to shed the skin I grew up with and even now I give priority to persons dear to my heart, my love for them brushes aside my own self. But I have learnt to find some time and space for my own self. 🙂

      Thank you for the blessings. I am too sending warm wishes for you. 🙂

      1. Yes it is not easy to put our thoughts on self first, as we are taught it is selfish.. My own lessons took some fathoming as I was left feeling unworthy mainly by my mother, whose lessons I now see helped shape me who I am today… That was why In my Blesstival poem I said and Yes even my Mother too.. We forget the lessons we learn through our tribulations as you so rightly said… And often put out Blame through our pain…
        Here’s to you discovering more Nurturing time for yourself Balroop… 🙂 Love and Blessings always xx ❤

      2. Life taught me some lessons in a harsh way but those are the profoundest. When our most loving relationships give pain and try to tell us we are unworthy, we feel shattered but the new self that emerges becomes a power to reckon with! All thanks to such persons who mold us despite their constraints.
        Yes Sue, your poem is absolutely awesome. Thanks for weaving negative emotions and turning them into positive and love your wishes…back to you. xoxo

  7. These are awesome lessons, Balroop! I like that you’re still counting…me, too. I have learned so many and some are the same as yours. It really struck me when you said “When I was too naïve, I couldn’t see through the tricks of people, I couldn’t understand when they played with my emotions…” Exactly one of my problems but I have LEARNED to be more guarded. I don’t let negative people play with my heart or mind anymore. Loved this post! xo

    1. Hi Lisa,

      I am so glad my thoughts resonate with you. I feel only those who are sensitive enough to pick up those vibes mature with time. I too started keeping my distance from such people but I am thankful they met me because they showed me the positive aspects of life and situation and that is how we pick up the lessons of life.

      Thank you! Stay blessed and inspired. 🙂

  8. This is a wonderful article, Balroop. To discover the passion within and make way for it are of utmost importance. Sometimes we do experience certain obstructions and negativity, but we should not be disheartened. He who has tried and failed is not a loser to me, but the one who has accepted defeat even before trying… 🙂

    Can’t agree more on your words about ‘regret’!

    1. Yes Mani, I agree with you. Getting vanquished by the challenges of life is does not make us successful in any way. It is better to face them and then accept whatever comes our way.
      Thanks for those words of wisdom. 🙂

  9. Beautiful post, Balroop… those moments of realization must have been precious… even if they could be tough at times… I agree with you and particularly in your statements regarding how emotional attachments can control us and when you say that Judgments can be delusive.. you are so right…
    Thanks for sharing, my friend … sending love. Aquileana 🌟

    1. Thank you Aquileana, I love your support and kindness. Only tough moments embellish our personalities and emotional attachments tell us how beautiful life can be. Blessed are those who understand that each moment of life is significant for our growth…emotional, social as well as spiritual.

      Thanks for standing by and sharing your lovely view. Stay blessed. 🙂

  10. I’ve really been making an effort to get back to my ignored bucket list. Even though I was traveling a lot for a while, I ignored many other things I yearned to learn how to do. I’m currently taking baby steps toward learning to tango. I admittedly have two left feet, but the act of gradually getting better really is its own reward and a huge boost.

    1. Same here Jeri. I have ignored my list for too long but I would like to immerse myself into it now. That is why self-love is so significant, it keeps reminding us to take care of our wishes before they get tossed around.
      Sure, we get better with each step, in whatever direction it is taken. Thanks for standing by and sharing your view. 🙂

  11. Profound Thoughts!!!
    This is a debate for eternity, we come and go but the learning keeps coming and keeps coming in every generation and with every life. Lessons of life are a bible by itself, so much to reflect and so much to ponder…

    Indeed passion is what makes life meaningful and discovering the passion and defining the purpose of life is what can make all the difference but many times the whole life goes in that process of discovering and we never cross the bridge to see the the other side of life. Rightly said; so what can we do by regretting and these are out of reach and nothing can be done, only it takes us away and eats away the energy that is left but never easy to control the mind and get the balance to focus on what is in hand and what is best for us…

    Dreams are achievable but there are many things which are inevitable and we get caught in the trap of things that are not in our control and waste vital amount of time trying to control the uncontrollable. Learning the art of detachment in life with things that are materialistic and things that may be elusive and we get trapped in the delusion of life and living.

    😀

  12. Hi Nihar,

    Thank you for the kind words of appreciation. Yes the debate goes on, changing with the times and people…reflections do take us through the corridors of learning and keep reminding us that such lessons are the most profound.

    Regrets have a weird relationship with forgiveness, the former refuse to melt and the latter disdains remorse. We need compassion to channelise regrets, nurture forgiveness and forget those unfulfilled dreams. Getting trapped in these complex emotions only brings pain.

    Thanks for standing by to contribute your valuable thoughts to this discussion, much appreciated.

  13. Sorry to come here late!

    What s excellence post about life lessons. I will past it on to my daughters. I wish more young people can come to read this post for your wisdom and experience.

    Life is full of twists and turn as well as up and down. The road in front may not be smooth one, but I believe each of us has the ability to make the best choice to complete the task. Since we can’t control the outcome, I did not regret the events happening in the past.

    Passion and dreams are two great forces in life. Without them, the life will be so dull. I still have my bucket list with me. Last time I checked I just added new items into it.

    As far as judgement concern, I was one of people who judged other. As I grow older, i steer toward to wait the true fact before I will form my opinion. As you said judgement does nothing good.

    Thanks for sharing!

    -Stella Chiu

    1. Hi Stella,

      Please don’t say sorry, you are welcome any time you visit Emotional Shadows. I am glad it can attract your attention.

      Yes, dear friend, it is the way we approach life, the kind of attitude we show and how we handle those ups and downs that matter. Eventually they leave a lasting impact on us, changing us for the better.

      It is so nice to hear that you keep filling your bucket, I wish you grand success with all those dreams, which are lying dormant. I am so thankful that you think this post is worthy of passing on to the younger generation and your daughter. I appreciate your outlook. 🙂

  14. Thanks for sharing your journey, Balroop. Every door opened means many doors closed. I think of that often. We can’t go back, but we can revise and make new choices, perhaps choosing a way that we might have missed when other parts of life took priority. It is too late for some choices, but life has much to offer, right up to the end. I started writing at 50. I’m 57 now and figure if all goes well, I’m only 2/3 done. Lots of life left to follow dreams 🙂

    1. Hi Diana,

      I have a slightly different take on the doors…when one closes, many more open and we have the choices to follow unless we are torn between the emotional aspects of life, which makes the choice difficult and we may get stuck in some of them.

      It is never too late dear Diana. Whether the passion is old or new, it is better to follow it as we have nothing to lose. I have never given a thought to how much I would write and how many nooks and crannies are waiting to be explored. It is good to flow with the stream of life and accept whatever it offers. So far it has been good, it always gets better! 🙂

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts, always appreciated.

      1. Yes, Balroop. I suppose I should have said that when we choose to walk through one door the others close. We can make similar choices, but the one of that precise moment is done and we can’t traverse time to undo it and make another. I always enjoy these discussions with you, so thought provoking 🙂

      2. Thanks for the clarification Diana. I agree with you though I always yearn to go back in time to do the correction…I am hopeful this would be possible one day…in my rebirth… 🙂

  15. A marvelous and inspirational post, Balroop, as usual. Ever since I was about 28-years old, fly fishing has been my passion. Over the last few years, balance issues have forced me to examine the possibility that each year might be my last. My recent stroke further diminished my balance, so much so that I pretty much had resigned myself to the fact that I was done. However, my very good friend and fishing partner, Bob, has encouraged me not to give up. I began doing balance exercises again that had worked for me in the past, and, lo and behold, it looks as if they are beginning to have a positive effect. So, I am planning my annual trip, with the understanding that it may not occur, but with the fervent hope that it will! Thanks for your inspirational blog. 🙂

    1. Hi Joe,

      Thank you so much. Your words sound like music to my ears! I am so glad that you are following your passion. It is never too late my friend. Just yesterday my hubby was reading news and told me that an 84 year old man has married again. I told him to tell his father who is almost the same age and was widowed at the age of 70.

      My best wishes for keeping your spirits high…you have a long way to go! Stay blessed. 🙂

  16. **All dreams are achievable**

    my favorite.

    This reminds me of my favorite verse: ” All Things Are Possible With God.”

    Thank you, Balroop, for your insight, encouragement, words, voice, and love.

    You are very much appreciated, darling. xx

  17. Yes life goes on and we have to make the most of it Balroop. I love to read what you learnt through the years, through the ups and downs, What is fabulous is that you’re able to look forward and decide that today is a good day to accomplish whatever you wish for.
    Life told me not to judge, cause we are fighting our battles, even if others can’t see it. No regret, cause what we lived is part of who we become.
    Life told me to ask for help and to take the hand sent out to rescue me. And that I could make my dreams come true – the first step is the hardest. Then life gives us winds!
    Thank you for inspiring us with every one of your words. You are precious.

  18. Thank you Marie, I am glad you find my words inspiring. Life teaches us even when we are not interested, that is its beauty! Yes, looking forward has its own charm. 🙂
    Thanks for standing by and sharing such a lovely and positive view. Stay blessed!

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